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the admiral

aisle seat on a plane, second-to-last row, and everyone's peeing

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Bucfan56    3,592

Ok, two more. #2 and #3 on my worst flight experiences. 

 

Red eye flight from Philly to Rome in 2011: 

 

Completely full flight, except for the middle seat right next to me on a totally cramped US Airways jet. The doors were closing so I figured I was home free and popped two sleeping pills. At the VERY last second, the flight attendant (who I had been talking to about the passenger next to me not showing up and how stoked I was) notified me that the lady had JUST made the gate and was about to board. I figured, ok bummer, but maybe she's an Italian supermodel or something (jokingly, of course). Nope. The lady was probably 500 pounds if not heavier, and really should've had to pay for two seats. I spent 8 hours basically squished into the isle (I'm an isle seat guy myself. I feel too cramped in the window seat) and dodging the drink cart in vein while barely awake but not comfortable enough to actually sleep. 

 

 

Mid mid day flight from LA to Oakland in 2012:

 

I was flying from Phoenix to San Francisco for game 2 for the NLCS on what was basically a same day turnaround. The morning flight from Phoenix to LAX was the earliest flight they offered and wasn't really very noteworthy as I slept the entire time. The second flight was a different story entirely. I was supposed to fly into SFO, but the fog was so bad that the airport was pretty much completely shut down. Luckily, thre was another flight into Oakland that had a few seats, and as my family drove down to the Bay Area, it wasn't a big deal for them to head over to Oakland and get me. I had an isle seat, but I ended up stuck in the middle of a newly married duo of gay men who were about as flamboyant as they come, and who were at each other's throats. They basically said that I was sitting in between them or they were going to kill each other and get the flight grounded. They fought the entire flight with me right in the middle, and they didn't leave a single detail of their grievances with each other, on all manner of topics that are probably better left to personal time, hidden. 

 

 

Still though, I've had some pretty rough experiences on flights, but I'll never let another flight experience get to me (unless, like, the wings fall off mid air or something) after the cross-country Amtrak trip I took a few years ago. You think airline travel is bad? It's like a day at the spa compared to long train trips. 

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the admiral    9,893

It was interesting to walk around Midtown at 2 in the morning. New York smells like rotting garbage more than any other city I've been to.

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Cosmic    2,477

Window seat is definitely the best.  In the middle, you're crammed in between two other people that you're trying not to touch and be weird.  On the aisle, if you're on the armrest or an inch over, you've got people bumping into you.  In the window seat, you have a little extra room next to the wall that you can use without bumping into anyone... and you have the window.

 

Biggest gear-grinder: they should let people who don't have anything in the overhead bins off the plane first.  It takes an infuriatingly long time to get off the plane, and 90% of it is waiting for people to get their bags overhead.  And there's always a couple people who think it won't be a problem if they "swim upstream" to get to their bin.

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the admiral    9,893
3 hours ago, Cosmic said:

they should let people who don't have anything in the overhead bins off the plane first.  It takes an infuriatingly long time to get off the plane, and 90% of it is waiting for people to get their bags overhead.  And there's always a couple people who think it won't be a problem if they "swim upstream" to get to their bin.

YES, YES. The people who get separated from their carry-ons ruin the whole thing for everyone.

 

McCarthy's story about the girl was super cute.

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CS85    5,115

I recently flew from O'Hare to Phoenix next to a very attractive woman who immediately began talking about her life in great detail while I barely responded as I was running on half an hour of sleep.  She proceeded to shower me with compliments, give me a brazen, wonderful shoulder and neck massage (commenting all the while about how everybody was now jealous of me), and incessantly reminded me that she was completely insane for Jesus Christ.  

 

Her primary occupation is going to strip joints and other similar places to help strippers and lost souls find the Lord, and in private life she is total freak and wants to worship whatever man she's with and serve him in exclusive sexual glory.

 

This conversation is almost entirely one-sided and to her left against the window is a sweet old lady who probably died several times on the flight and barely blinked an eye.  

 

She added me on facebook and we rarely communicate, thank goodness, but if anyone doesn't believe me it's nice to have some evidence.  

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Bucfan56    3,592
1 hour ago, CS85 said:

I recently flew from O'Hare to Phoenix next to a very attractive woman who immediately began talking about her life in great detail while I barely responded as I was running on half an hour of sleep.  She proceeded to shower me with compliments, give me a brazen, wonderful shoulder and neck massage (commenting all the while about how everybody was now jealous of me), and incessantly reminded me that she was completely insane for Jesus Christ.  

 

Her primary occupation is going to strip joints and other similar places to help strippers and lost souls find the Lord, and in private life she is total freak and wants to worship whatever man she's with and serve him in exclusive sexual glory.

 

This conversation is almost entirely one-sided and to her left against the window is a sweet old lady who probably died several times on the flight and barely blinked an eye.  

 

She added me on facebook and we rarely communicate, thank goodness, but if anyone doesn't believe me it's nice to have some evidence.  

 

Ok, THAT'S creepy. Adding co-workers is enough of a stretch for me, but adding people you shared a flight with? That's downright hair-raising. 

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BeerGuyJordan    840
1 hour ago, CS85 said:

I recently flew from O'Hare to Phoenix next to a very attractive woman who immediately began talking about her life in great detail while I barely responded as I was running on half an hour of sleep.  She proceeded to shower me with compliments, give me a brazen, wonderful shoulder and neck massage (commenting all the while about how everybody was now jealous of me), and incessantly reminded me that she was completely insane for Jesus Christ.  

 

Her primary occupation is going to strip joints and other similar places to help strippers and lost souls find the Lord, and in private life she is total freak and wants to worship whatever man she's with and serve him in exclusive sexual glory.

 

This conversation is almost entirely one-sided and to her left against the window is a sweet old lady who probably died several times on the flight and barely blinked an eye.  

 

She added me on facebook and we rarely communicate, thank goodness, but if anyone doesn't believe me it's nice to have some evidence.  

These days I'm somewhere in-between maltheism and agnosticism, but there was a time when I was super-religious and a volunteer youth pastor. 

 

I was at a weekend retreat for an organization where the staff and candidates basically try to feel each other out, to see if it's a good fit. There was a woman there who fit your description, pretty much to a T. Fortunately, being married at the time, her attentions were focused on another guy, who was a virgin and seemed terrified of her.

 

She added everyone from that weekend on Facebook. I declined, but received another, weeks later. I'm pretty sure it's still awaiting a decision in my requests.

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CS85    5,115
21 minutes ago, Bucfan56 said:

 

Ok, THAT'S creepy. Adding co-workers is enough of a stretch for me, but adding people you shared a flight with? That's downright hair-raising. 

 

We were sitting next to each other and she basically held me at gunpoint to accept her friend request.  I was exhausted and merely wanted to keep things cordial.  

 

 

7 minutes ago, BeerGuyJordan said:

These days I'm somewhere in-between maltheism and agnosticism, but there was a time when I was super-religious and a volunteer youth pastor. 

 

I was at a weekend retreat for an organization where the staff and candidates basically try to feel each other out, to see if it's a good fit. There was a woman there who fit your description, pretty much to a T. Fortunately, being married at the time, her attentions were focused on another guy, who was a virgin and seemed terrified of her.

 

She added everyone from that weekend on Facebook. I declined, but received another, weeks later. I'm pretty sure it's still awaiting a decision in my requests.

 

Beats me.  Wouldn't surprise me, though.

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McCarthy    6,408

Here's two more:

- At least half of the carry on bags I see shouldn't be allowed to be carry-ons. They're bigger than the dimensions on that box you put your bag in to check if it's allowable and a lot of them are hard so they don't flatten and are a bigger assache to get in/out of the overhead. 

 

- When it's time to board the plane don't stand near the ropes and clog up that area unless your group has been called. If you have a ticket I promise you'll get on the plane. Sit in your terminal chair until your group is called and get out of the way for priority boarding people like me. 

 

 

 

Whenever I get overly crabby about a flight experience I always try to remind myself that for 99% of history human flight was impossible and traveling outside of your town was also basically impossible and that I'm really fortunate to be able to travel all over the world in a relatively short time. Reminds me I'm lucky and helps me calm down. Still though I can't wait for high speed tube travel. 

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monkeypower    644

I don't think I've ever had a bad plane experience, knock on wood.

 

I got to fly first class for the first time when I flew from LA to Calgary back in June. I got to go in the fancy lounge with "free" food and drink and then got the nice plane seat.

 

I then had to go back to slumming it with the commoners when I flew back to Saskatoon a couple days later in a normal plane.

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OnWis97    2,152

My worst experiences have been due to weather or airplane maintenance. Th most aggravating one was a flight from Madison back home to Connecticut.  Stop in Detroit.  After that stop, the plane got to Connecticut and I actually heard the wheels go down.  They turned us around and landed us back in Detroit.  Yes, I flew Detroit-to-Detroit.  Turns out that Hartford had four inches of snow in less than an hour (or some such ridiculous amount).

 

My biggest pet peeve is with the overhead compartments.  I will never forgive the airlines for charging for checked bags.  Most of the "extra weight" just comes into the cabin anyway, with half of the bags being checked from the front door of the plane after the bins are full.  It slows everything down, causes people to hover around the ticketing area waiting for their group to be called, and leads to people leaning over me and occasionally even dropping bags on me.  I know some people are scared to check bags anyway, but it was much easier when they were not charging for bags.  

 

8 hours ago, Cosmic said:

they should let people who don't have anything in the overhead bins off the plane first.  It takes an infuriatingly long time to get off the plane, and 90% of it is waiting for people to get their bags overhead.  And there's always a couple people who think it won't be a problem if they "swim upstream" to get to their bin.

I totally agree with this and have in fact thought about it before.  I am already taking a $25 ($50?) bullet to contribute to making lives easier.  When I have a connection and have to wait forever for people to grab their bags, it's infuriating.  The people carrying their bags with them are the problem, the rest of us should get a break.  I carry a small bag with reading material, prescriptions, tablet, and a change of socks and underwear and put it under the seat in front of me.  I legitimately feel I deserve to get off the plane first and have all these jerks wait for that before they start running around and getting their bags. Plus it would provide some incentive not to bring full-sized suitcases onto the plane, making everything more efficient.

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sc49erfan15    866

Weird, but this thread is doing nothing but making me want to fly somewhere. I usually prefer road trips, but there's something about flying that's just enjoyable to me.

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Alex Houston    182

I've had a pretty benign experience with flying, outside of getting sick on a British Airways flight to Poland in 1996. A bad mixture of peas and barbecue sauce lead to the sickness and I proceeded to vomit on my mom - that poor woman - who then proceeded to need a bag herself. Needless to say the first couple hours after we landed were great, needing our family van to pull over as I tossed my cookies again somewhere on the mean streets of Warsaw.

 

The other major annoying thing that happened was last August when I flew to the 907. For some reason, the change in cabin pressure was really messing with me and I felt a pretty severe ear ache for the last hour or so of the flight, which lead to me having muffled hearing for like the first 12 hours after we landed. Not exactly the greatest situation in the world to have my parents nagging at me after taking an overnight flight to land in Anchorage at 3:30 in the morning with my hearing on the fritz. As a recovering hypochondriac, it was just what I needed. 

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the admiral    9,893
5 hours ago, CS85 said:

Her primary occupation is going to strip joints and other similar places to help strippers and lost souls find the Lord, and in private life she is total freak and wants to worship whatever man she's with and serve him in exclusive sexual glory.

This conversation is almost entirely one-sided and to her left against the window is a sweet old lady who probably died several times on the flight and barely blinked an eye.

 

air05.jpg

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BeerGuyJordan    840

Speaking of Detroit and airports, that one tunnel almost makes me want to do shrooms, just because I see that being a great place for your first time.

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HedleyLamarr    1,281
45 minutes ago, sc49erfan15 said:

Weird, but this thread is doing nothing but making me want to fly somewhere. I usually prefer road trips, but there's something about flying that's just enjoyable to me.

Same here.  Much prefer driving, but it's neat to fly places too.

 

One of my perks is having a guy that's retired from Delta.  Getting to fly first class for cheap (basically, just paying the taxes for the flight) has been great for our trips to Vancouver and other far-away places.  If you fly (especially often), it's worth it to pay for the upgrade.  Leg room, hotter stewardesses, etc....that's the life!

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McCarthy    6,408
8 minutes ago, BeerGuyJordan said:

Speaking of Detroit and airports, that one tunnel almost makes me want to do shrooms, just because I see that being a great place for your first time.

The Willie Wonka LSD Tunnel. I first experienced it coming home for Christmas so I got the added benefit of getting blasted in the ears by Mannheim Steamroller. 

 

3005888951_aa31c4038a_b1.jpg

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BeerGuyJordan    840
17 minutes ago, McCarthy said:

The Willie Wonka LSD Tunnel. I first experienced it coming home for Christmas so I got the added benefit of getting blasted in the ears by Mannheim Steamroller. 

 

3005888951_aa31c4038a_b1.jpg

Were the audio and visuals synced ? Because that would be epic.

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monkeypower    644

Speaking of weird and unnecessary airport decorations, how about Blucifer? (Spoilered because I'm not sure how NSFW horse statue genitalia is)

 

Spoiler

02iPFVm.jpg

 

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