infrared41

RD 2: 2017 Glorious Tournament of Victory

29 posts in this topic

 

 

Round Two

 

Bill Paxton Memorial Region:  Larry Fine Field House - Floyds Knobs, Indiana

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

 

VOTE

 

 

GD Batman Memorial Region: Caesar Romero Memorial Arena - Chugwater, Wyoming

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

 

VOTE

 

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region of Excellence: Bill Bryson Centre - Chicken Bone, Mississippi

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

 

VOTE

 

 

What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region: Slim Whitman Memorial Arena - Mule Shoe, Texas

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

 

VOTE

 

 

Reminder: Voters are encouraged to post their votes and reasoning in the thread, but only survey votes will be counted towards the total in each match. 

 

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@infrared41 the 2/10 matchup in SPMR is a duplicate of the Williams/Harambe battle.

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2 minutes ago, LMU said:

@infrared41 the 2/10 matchup in SPMR is a duplicate of the Williams/Harambe battle.

 

Fixed

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Gotta say, I feel like these brackets took pretty good shape.  Results should be quite amusing.

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Am I the only one who likes Keith Olbermann?  I get why he'd rub people the wrong way, but I thought he was absolutely hilarious on Olbermann for those couple of years.  I was pretty disappointed when they announced it would be ending. 

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29 minutes ago, Crabcake47 said:

Am I the only one who likes Keith Olbermann?  I get why he'd rub people the wrong way, but I thought he was absolutely hilarious on Olbermann for those couple of years.  I was pretty disappointed when they announced it would be ending. 

 

Nope. I like him too. I think KO is great. He's my favorite political pundit and he's one of my all time favorite sportscasters. 

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25 minutes ago, infrared41 said:

 

Nope. I like him too. I think KO is great. He's my favorite political pundit and he's one of my all time favorite sportscasters. 

I can't personally speak to my liking/disliking of him on politics, but in terms of a sportscaster, I think he's brillaint.  His dry, sarcastic sense of humor is perfect for me.

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Bill Paxton Memorial Region

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

The Eggplant's explosive excrements can only destroy so many Tacos, but they just keep on coming. He attempts to eat his way through several of them to refuel his grenade supply, but they don't agree with his digestive system and he explodes from the deadly combination of his own grenades and taco diarrhea.

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

Now this is an interesting matchup. Robin Williams was a living legend who brought joy and humour to people around the world. Harambe was a random zoo animal, an unknown, unheard of, nobody-in-particular, who propelled to internet superstardom and brought a morbid sense of joy and humour to people around the world only after he died. No joke, I decided this one on a coin flip.

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

As obnoxious as Bill and his mighty Warship are, they can't really do much against this delicious, gargantuan, Peanut Butter and Jam sandwich.

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

A sudden inconvenient obstruction to your ultimate goal VS the long-term misery, uncertainty, and unfathomable stupidity that'll stick around for four years minimum. No contest.

 

GD Batman Memorial Region

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

The Curly Fry might have a better chance at winning if it were a sacred object that had the ability to start a brawl because your opponent merely touches it.

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

Stare at the TV Guide Channel long enough and you'll get bored. But one look at Outback's ludicrous menu item will make you feel really hungry or really sick. I think this thing has potential down the line.

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

Between Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Pokemon, Marvel, DC, Pokemon, Star Wars, Pokemon, Pokemon, and Pokemon, there's plenty of nostalgia to go around and it's all the rage these days. Occasionally to the point of being downright insufferable. On the flipside, how often do people have breakfast for dinner?

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

Not even this loud and powerful sound is enough to untangle a Slinky.

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

The Ancient Alien Robot that can pull itself back together sounds unbeatable in theory, but this is the Eagle that made the now-President of the United States cower in fear. The Eagle will emerge victorious with its resilient, stubborn, don't-give-a-crap fighting spirit.

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

This one's a bit difficult to judge because I've never seen this elusive unused Sabres logo. The Team Israel mascot is cute and inoffensive on the surface, but no matter how you look at it, it's a stereotypical, and maybe self-deprecating, caricature of an ethnoreligious group. Made in 2017. I think it wins based on that crazy fact alone.

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

Stick that thing outside (or for hilarious effect, inside) a shop and it would scare away even the greatest and toughest of hockey goalies.

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

Another coin flip because I don't know anything about Aaron Burr. I'm not doing well so far.

 

Bernie Kosar Knows What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

This caravan ain't buying her crap for one second. But it might run her over.

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

Darwin's Disciples must have balls to be casually driving through the Motor City... I guess. I dunno. I've heard things and running gags about Detroit but don't know much about the place. As a result I'm having a hard time making up something funny that hasn't already been said. Gotta go with the GToV mainstay.

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

Somehow the accidents and bad driving on display from Russian Dash Cam footage manages to be even more absurd than the idea of a Real Life Sharknado. You just couldn't make that :censored: up.

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

Another coin flip. Gadammit.

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2 hours ago, CS85 said:

Gotta say, I feel like these brackets took pretty good shape.  Results should be quite amusing.

 

I wish Chimp Biker Gang/Darwin's Disciples vs. Detroit hadn't ended up being a 2nd round match up, but that aside, Round Two is of to a helluva start. Without giving anything away, some of the match ups that looked on paper to be blow outs are really tight and a few that looked to be really tight are surprise blow outs. You just never know which way things are going to go in the GTOV. 

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TxtYsjT.jpg

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Bill Paxton Memorial Region

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

 

Endless food supply equals endless $#!+ grenades.  The tacos never stop coming but there's only one eggplant. Once the first explosive turd goes off the eggplant becomes moussaka.

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

 

Williams is thought of in more of a nostalgic vein.  Harambe became powerful in death.

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

 

Bill takes "NO DAYS OFF!" He easily dispatches the sandwich so that it doesn't hinder his schedule of continuing his blood feud with Goodell.

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

 

Even Goro is depressed.

 

GD Batman Memorial Region

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

 

The joy of a curly fry is fleeting.  The joy of a moose leg is eternal.

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

 

With the TV Guide Channel now POP TV, the greatness that is Schitt's Creek is cancelled out by the awfulness that is Impact Wrestling, leaving death by fake Aussie appetizers an easy road over a bunch of reruns.

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

 

Breakfast for dinner can lead to a nostalgia boner for some.

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

 

The deafening THX sound causes more permanent damage than a bent plastic spring.

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

 

The eagle's reflexes are too quick for a robot deity that hasn't been oiled in three thousand years.

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

 

The Mensch on a Bench not only wins in the battle of relevancy but in the battle of earnings potential.

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

 

Russell can probably get his line mates to help steal the statue as well.

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

 

Burr would treat the flying phallus as a duel challenge and we all know what he does in those.

 

Bernie Kosar Knows What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

 

All Conway has to do is give the Winnebago directions to move straight to the next round.

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

 

Detroit's urban renewal is taking away the grit that it needs to counter the bad ass simians.

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

 

The sharknado looks cool on the dash cam footage until the cam and the whole dashboard are sucked up and bitten in half.

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

 

Olbermann gives a 37 minute special comment video on the threat the pants are to our future.

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Bill Paxton Memorial Region

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

 

Come on, it's tacos! What more do you need to know? It's sure as hell far better then the Eggplant Wizard's cousin and his explosive diarrhea

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

 

Harambe must be destroyed at all freaking costs!!!!

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

 

I like peanut butter and jelly... and I dislike the Hoodie. Simple choice, no?

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

 

While you might be depressed now, I present to you a four armed half man, half dragon that would take on that depression... and then rip it's head off, crap down it's neck and then go to Burger King for lunch

 

GD Batman Memorial Region

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

 

While the fry is nice to have, nothing beats a moose leg... especially if there is a great story behind it's sacredness

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

 

A Bloomin' Onion + Cheese Fries + Steak = Stuffed Seadragon. TV Guide can't do that.

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

 

*Is having a nostalgia boner right now*

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

 

At least the sound is useful... A tangled Slinky? Not so much

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

 

Robot gods? Ha... Our true god is the Anti-Trump Bald Eagle... Why? 'Cause 'MERICA!!

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

 

Israel is doing well in the WBC. The Sabres haven't done well in quite some time... easy choice here

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

 

I hear that the goalie is a legend in those parts

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

 

You guys need to learn your history... Aaron Burr was the one of the first bad ass non-political people around. Plus... EW! I don't want Brady's sex toy anywhere near me.. it's infected with Cheater-Itis

 

Bernie Kosar Knows What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

 

That Winnebago is going to break down before that statement happens

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

 

Even chimp bikers know what a total and complete hell hole Detroit is... and avoid it like the freaking plague

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

 

Sharknado... that's all.

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

 

A few minutes with those pants and even the most righteous of indignation is melted away

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No sinking feeling of the Falcons blowing a 25 point lead?

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Everything about this picture screams CHAMPION:

 

MOOSELEGGGGG.jpg

 

-His smile (He knows what's up)

-The quote on the wall behind him 

-THE MOOSE LEG

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Bill Paxton Memorial Region

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

 

There is no end to the tacos. They just keep pounding the anthropomorphic eggplant into submission when his supply of grenades runs out.

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

 

There is sinking depression that Robin Williams killed himself, but then there is the sinking depression that Harambe was senselessly murdered. :censored:s out.

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

 

Nothing phases Bill Belichick. In fact, a simple Google search reveals that he literally has the same expression on his face for 99% of photos. He'll just grimace and get to work.

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

 

Need a quick cure for depression? Try fighting/running from Goro. Nothing cures depression quite like Goro.

 

 

 

GD Batman Memorial Region

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

 

Nobody ever started a bench-clearing brawl over an accidental curly fry. Long live the Moose.

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

 

The TV Guide Channel has seen it all. From Hot Pants to Bloomin' Onions. Old Faithful has never backed down from a fight.

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

 

I had cereal last night. After 6:00 pm. It was nostalgic.

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

 

Missed the THX sound before the latest movie I watched because I was trying to untangle a Slinky. Complicated little devil.

 

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

 

Though defeated in the past election and last year's GTOV, the Eagle remains resiliant and pecks the robot into oblivion.

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

 

A skating buffalo or a Jewish guy sitting on a bench. How many skating buffalo have you seen?

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

 

I was intrigued to find out that there is a equally freaky Albert Einstein statue in Washington DC. Don't make your statues out of poop, kids.

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

 

It had a smiley face on it. A FREAKING SMILEY FACE.

 

 

 

 

Bernie Kosar Knows What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

 

The 1974 Winnebago has proudly survived since Kellyanne Conway's LAST true statement.

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

If the Darwin's Disciples were based out of Detroit and not the West Coast, the Motor City might not have the problems it does.

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

 

Nobody believed the reports of the real life Sharknado until the Russian Dash Cam footage was released.

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

 

I wonder if KO would be so indignant if he had to wear hot pants...

 

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3 hours ago, nash61 said:

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

 

The 1974 Winnebago has proudly survived since Kellyanne Conway's LAST true statement.

 

3 hours ago, nash61 said:

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

 

Nobody believed the reports of the real life Sharknado until the Russian Dash Cam footage was released.

 

3 hours ago, nash61 said:

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

 

Nobody ever started a bench-clearing brawl over an accidental curly fry. Long live the Moose.

 

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed the logic behind these picks. 

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Bill Paxton Memorial Region

 

1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant Anthropomorphic Eggplant that :censored:s Grenades

Because I like tacos and a taco stand on every corner. CIA please don't tell Trump. 

 

5. Sinking Depression of Remembering Robin Williams Killed Himself

13. Harambe

Self explanatory 

 

3. PBJ the Size of Maine

6. Bill Belichick in an Ironclad Warship

How else will he torpedo the fun out of the NFL. 

 

2. The Sinking Depression of Living in Trump's America

7. Goro

#2 is too horrible to think about. Goro is my go to character on MK:Armageddon. It's the last MK I bought and still enjoy. Shut up. 

 

VOTE

 

 

GD Batman Memorial Region

 

1. Sacred Moose Leg of Flin Flon, Manitoba

9. Accidental Curly Fry

Because Curly Fry

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point Bloomin' Onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

Outback's Bloomin' Onion is always a win. 

 

3. Nostalgia Boner

6. Breakfast for Dinner

Because it still rages. 

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. Tangled Slinky

The THX sound is strangely satisfying

 

VOTE

 

 

Sentinel Prime Memorial Region

 

1. Anti-Trump Bald Eagle

9. Ancient Aliens' Robot Osiris

Robot Osiris is the stuff legends is made of

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel's WBC Mascot

Because NHL. 

 

3. Russell, MB Goalie Beer Thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers Statue

it's Mr. Rogers dammit. 

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's Sex Toy

#10 is the secret to Tom Brady's success. 

 

VOTE

 

 

Bernie Kosar Knows What it Means to be a Cleveland Brown Region

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. Kellyanne Conway's Next True Statement

Given the choice between KC everlasting search for her first true statement and a Winnebago. I'll take the Winnebago

 

4. Chimp Biker Gang - Darwin's Disciples

5. Detroit

The Darwin's Disciples will be the next big stable in TNA/Impact/Anthem wrestling. 

 

6. Real Life Sharknado

14. Russian Dash Cam

Real life Sharknado is the type of trainwreck i can get into. 

 

10. Righteous Indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

Work the Frozen Food department for your local retailer and those things become a Gods send. 

VOTE

 

 

Reminder: Voters are encouraged to post their votes and reasoning in the thread, but only survey votes will be counted towards the total in each match. 

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1. Endless Tacos

9. Giant anthropomorphic eggplant that :censored:s grenades

The eggplant starts off strong, but tires which, combined with increased fecal output from so many Tacos eventually leads to the vegetable self exploding on one of its own grenades; meanwhile the Tacos just keep on coming.

 

5. Sinking depression of remembering Robin Williams killed himself

13. Harambe

You know who'd be good in a film about the ridiculousness of the world losing its collective :censored: over a dead ape?

Robin Will....

Oh, yeah. That happened didn't it.

 

3. PBJ the size of Maine

6. Bill Belichik in an ironclad warship

Even with the inordinate size of the foe, it's lack of offense combined with the relentlessness of 'Ole Bill means that he wins. Eventually.

 

2. The sinking depression of living in Trump's America

7. Goro

If one REALLY, REALLY tries, one can avoid thinking about Trump; whilst if Goro is onto you you cannot avoid him.

 

1. The sacred moose leg of Flin Flon, MB

9. Accidental curly fry

Every time you receive an accidental curly fry it is down to the moose leg using its sacred power to do benevolent good and spread happiness.

 

5. Outback's new 3-Point bloomin' onion

13. The TV Guide Channel

The sheer ridiculousness of the onion induces desire, but one that I know would be followed by regret. The channel may not be as exciting, but it's solid, wholesome and reliable.

 

3. Nostalgia Bower

6. Breakfast for dinner

All day breakfast is the goddamned best.

 

2. THX sound before movies

10. A tangled slinky

The sound comes and goes, only to subsequently return. Once tangled, the slinky is gone forever.

 

1. Anti Trump bald eagle

9. Ancient Aliens Robot Osiris

The Eagle that gave us one of the greatest gifs of all time cannot go down yet.

 

4. Buffalo Sabres' skate-wearing buffalo

5. Team Israel WBC mascot

Ludicrous as both are, the mensch on the bench wins because it actually came to fruition, and was not just a concept.

 

3. Russell, MB goalie beer thief

11. Freaky Mr. Rogers statue

The pilfering goal tender is so drunk that to him the statue looks normal, and it is able to exert none of its freaky influence upon him.

 

2. OG Aaron Burr

10. Tom Brady's sex toy

Ridiculously comic as the dildo is, Burr absolutely doesn't care and just shoots it and moves on.

 

9. 1974 Winnebago

16. KellyAnne Conway's next true statement

I cannot in good conscience do anything which could possibly make Kellyanne Conway feel good about being Kellyanne Conway.

 

4. Chimp biker gang - Darwin's disciples

5. Detroit

Hard as this is to do, Detroit is one of the few cities that has seen and dealt with a heck of a lot weirder and more intimidating than the Chimps.

 

6. Real life sharknado

14. Russian dash Cam

I find it impossible to improve upon @nash61's reasoning behind this

 

10. Righteous indignation of Keith Olbermann

15. Wonder sauna hot pants

Entertaining, and correct, as Olbermann is, I fully understand the indignation. The hot pants meanwhile? I have no idea what this mystifying :censored: is, and I really want to know more.

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GTOV Update: Voting for Round Two ends at 8pm. 

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The voting is closed and Round Two of the 2017 GTOV is in the books. Results and Sweet 16 match ups will be announced on Monday's episode of Basically a Sports Show. 

 

 

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