willmorris

Barnum's Animals - New Packaging

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The Eagles win one Super Bowl and BBTV becomes Charlie Kelly

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3 hours ago, BringBackTheVet said:

 

No, I'm not saying that captivity alters their genetics, I'm saying that if there's only a male lion, and female giraffe, once released, the lion would not be able to resist its pent up urges, and somehow pounce on the giraffe and squirt an interspecies baby into its belly.  Same with the others.

 

I haven't actually studied biology or genetics or any kind of science at all, but I can't think of any reason why we couldn't have gorillas with dorsal fins and shark teeth, or giraffe-necked lions.  

That’s not how it works, animals need to be within atleast the same genus to produce an offspring but even then if they aren’t the same species then the offspring are infertile like a mule which is a horse and donkey bread together.

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:22 AM, BringBackTheVet said:

Think of all the raging hormones and pent up sexual energy that they developed in those cages, with no outlet, and no ability to even masturbate (except maybe the elephant.)  Assuming they were of mixed sexes, I'm picturing a world in which we have little baby lions with elephant trunks, or gorillas with super long giraffe necks.

 

But who has sex with the chicken? Something's missing!

 

frank-grievances.jpg

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They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

 

4O3oVln.jpg

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4 hours ago, dont care said:

That’s not how it works, animals need to be within atleast the same genus to produce an offspring but even then if they aren’t the same species then the offspring are infertile like a mule which is a horse and donkey bread together.

 

Have you ever tried?  Or did you just read that in a book?

 

Don't believe everything you read.

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All I know is that a Pig and an Elephant's DNA just won't splice. 

 

IN9R.gif

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3 hours ago, Ice_Cap said:

They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

 

4O3oVln.jpg

 

That's perverse!

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On 9/3/2018 at 8:27 AM, BringBackTheVet said:

I haven't actually studied biology or genetics or any kind of science at all, but I can't think of any reason why we couldn't have gorillas with dorsal fins and shark teeth, or giraffe-necked lions.  

 

How do these work into the NFL "one designated gorilla play per game" rule changes? Are these mutant gorillas allowed?

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3 minutes ago, sc49erfan15 said:

 

How do these work into the NFL "one designated gorilla play per game" rule changes? Are these mutant gorillas allowed?

 

Maybe try it in the new XFL or AAF first and see how it goes.    

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3 hours ago, BringBackTheVet said:

 

Maybe try it in the new XFL or AAF first and see how it goes.    

 

Yeah, that seems reasonable. Regular gorillas are fine for the NFL, but we need to test out how these mutant grizzly-gorillas (grizzillas?) behave in game situations before we let them loose at the top level. Maybe we can begin with high schools?

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24 minutes ago, sc49erfan15 said:

 

Yeah, that seems reasonable. Regular gorillas are fine for the NFL, but we need to test out how these mutant grizzly-gorillas (grizzillas?) behave in game situations before we let them loose at the top level. Maybe we can begin with high schools?

 

Parents are second guessing letting their kids play under the current rules, let alone against mutant gorillasharks.  Plus, I can't think of any other proposed professional rule changes that were tested at the high school level first.  

 

As technology advances, the leagues need to decide for themselves how to handle.  Baseball decided that metal bats were not safe, and rejected the technology in favor of traditional wood.  Tennis embraced the lighter, more durable materials, and now the game isn't much more than an ace fest.  I think the competition committee would need to think long and hard about this one.  Also, I bet the NFLPA would have a say in the matter as well.

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32 minutes ago, BringBackTheVet said:

 

Parents are second guessing letting their kids play under the current rules, let alone against mutant gorillasharks.  Plus, I can't think of any other proposed professional rule changes that were tested at the high school level first.  

 

No way, these safety measures need to be implemented from the bottom up. If high school kids learn to play safely against gorillagators early, then they'll be ready by the time they make it to the NFL. It's science.

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Animal based teams would have the option of breeding their gorilla with their mascot. Philadelphia would have a gorilla with wings and a sharp beak (tho it would likely be flightless), Chicago would have a gorilla with a bear face, Detroit would have gorillalion, etc. It might inspire some teams to switch to fearcer mascots, since Houston would be stuck with a homophobic ape that just sits on the sideline eating brisket and trying in vain to read the Bible or “Guns and Ammo”, and NE would have an anti-Semitic silverback that roars in an Aussie accent. 

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The polar bear lives on as a seasonal box:

3xrcnzA.jpg

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