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jrodsep

Chris Creamer's Boards Baseball Team

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Name: Nick Alexander

Position: Pitcher/1st Base

Jersey Number: 33 (17 is taken, so to pay homage to Patrick Roy and Larry Walker)

Height: 6'0"

Weight 225 lbs.

Bats: Switch (sheer power)

Throws: Right (mid-sidearm)

Runs: okay for a big guy, put a ball in the air, and my speed doubles trying to catch it.

(*fast ball - 93MPH, seriously)

I sure hope we don't get a basketball team cuz that's the one of the four sports I CAN'T actually play well.

ok, i'm calling bull :censored: on this one.

[picks up phone]

j_f: hello, is bull :censored: there?

unidentified voice: yep, just a sec.

bull :censored:: yo!

j_f: hey man, skater20na says he throws a 93 mph heater.

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: 80 mph slapper?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: rains 3's from downtown?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: 4.3 forty?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: better than pele?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: hotter than claudia schiffer?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: thanks man, just wanted to see what you had to say.

bull :censored:: no problem......oh yeah....have you seen my bong?

j_f: nope, not since 1988. sorry.

bull :censored:: that's ok........bull :censored: out!

[hangs up phone]

there you go.....bull :censored:

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Name: Nick Alexander

Position: Pitcher/1st Base

Jersey Number: 33 (17 is taken, so to pay homage to Patrick Roy and Larry Walker)

Height: 6'0"

Weight 225 lbs.

Bats: Switch (sheer power)

Throws: Right (mid-sidearm)

Runs: okay for a big guy, put a ball in the air, and my speed doubles trying to catch it.

(*fast ball - 93MPH, seriously)

I sure hope we don't get a basketball team cuz that's the one of the four sports I CAN'T actually play well.

ok, i'm calling bull :censored: on this one.

[picks up phone]

j_f: hello, is bull :censored: there?

unidentified voice: yep, just a sec.

bull :censored:: yo!

j_f: hey man, skater20na says he throws a 93 mph heater.

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: 80 mph slapper?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: rains 3's from downtown?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: 4.3 forty?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: better than pele?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: hotter than claudia schiffer?

bull :censored:: bull :censored:!

j_f: thanks man, just wanted to see what you had to say.

bull :censored:: no problem......oh yeah....have you seen my bong?

j_f: nope, not since 1988. sorry.

bull :censored:: that's ok........bull :censored: out!

[hangs up phone]

there you go.....bull :censored:

Okay, what the hell is your problem. Just cuz I can throw 1-3 pitches over 90 before my arm dies you are being an ass.

I can't run for plop, and I hate soccer, the only position I can play is goalie, and not very well.

I can play football, hockey & volleyball well.

Basketball - I can hit 3's really well when I get into a groove.

Baseball - I can throw that hard for a VERY short time before my arm gives.

I played football in for my HS as a running back and Junior Hockey while I was in HS as a netminder.

The only reason I was a good runner is because I could run over and through people, I'm not very fast, I'm just very difficult to tackle.

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Name: Nick Alexander

Position: Pitcher/1st Base

Jersey Number: 33 (17 is taken, so to pay homage to Patrick Roy and Larry Walker)

Height: 6'0"

Weight 225 lbs.

Bats: Switch (sheer power)

Throws: Right (mid-sidearm)

Runs: okay for a big guy, put a ball in the air, and my speed doubles trying to catch it.

(*fast ball - 93MPH, seriously)

I sure hope we don't get a basketball team cuz that's the one of the four sports I CAN'T actually play well.

ok, i'm calling bull :censored: on this one.

Touchè.

{ding dong}

j_f: yes?

shmee: i have a singing telegram for you, from a mr.20na.

j_f: i hate you. and i hate singing telegrams.

shmee: you'll like it. it's to the tune of the notre dame fight song.

j_f: fine. get it over with.

shmee: okey dokey...

Ruh-uhn, in fear, from skay-ter-twenty-nah.

My ninety-three fastball's comin' right at ya!

I dare you to try to run and hide,

though my super-duper field goals could split your backside!

My slapshot's the beh-eh-eh-est there is,

clock says it's faster than Mac-Innis!

Though I sit there, too lay-zee,

I'm the best ta-lent that you'll see!

Bum ba dum dum Ding!

j_f: your job sucks.

shmee: are you gonna tip me?

j_f: go away.

(to hear the real song: click here)

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correction....

Shmee2k6 is all alone on a break away...the pass inside...he deaks once, twice, THREE TIMES...AND

GOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAALALALALAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!

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Okay, what the hell is your problem. Just cuz I can throw 1-3 pitches over 90 before my arm dies you are being an ass.

I can't run for plop, and I hate soccer, the only position I can play is goalie, and not very well.

I can play football, hockey & volleyball well.

Basketball - I can hit 3's really well when I get into a groove.

Baseball - I can throw that hard for a VERY short time before my arm gives.

I played football in for my HS as a running back and Junior Hockey while I was in HS as a netminder.

The only reason I was a good runner is because I could run over and through people, I'm not very fast, I'm just very difficult to tackle.

How easy it is to make crazy alligations about yourself on the vast internet where nobody can prove them.

I never told anyone this but, I'm actually John Elway himself.

Fist it was 20 pitches you could throw the heat, then 10, now 3? which is it skater? which is it indeed?

You can't run, yet played running back. Perplexing I say. Bull :censored: I know.

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Name: Nick Alexander

Position: Pitcher/1st Base

Jersey Number: 33 (17 is taken, so to pay homage to Patrick Roy and Larry Walker)

Height: 6'0"

Weight 225 lbs.

Bats: Switch (sheer power)

Throws: Right (mid-sidearm)

Runs: okay for a big guy, put a ball in the air, and my speed doubles trying to catch it.

(*fast ball - 93MPH, seriously)

I sure hope we don't get a basketball team cuz that's the one of the four sports I CAN'T actually play well.

ok, i'm calling bull :censored: on this one.

Touchè.

{ding dong}

j_f: yes?

shmee: i have a singing telegram for you, from a mr.20na.

j_f: i hate you. and i hate singing telegrams.

shmee: you'll like it. it's to the tune of the notre dame fight song.

j_f: fine. get it over with.

shmee: okey dokey...

Ruh-uhn, in fear, from skay-ter-twenty-nah.

My ninety-three fastball's comin' right at ya!

I dare you to try to run and hide,

though my super-duper field goals could split your backside!

My slapshot's the beh-eh-eh-est there is,

clock says it's faster than Mac-Innis!

Though I sit there, too lay-zee,

I'm the best ta-lent that you'll see!

Bum ba dum dum Ding!

j_f: your job sucks.

shmee: are you gonna tip me?

j_f: go away.

(to hear the real song: click here)

[picks up phone]

j_f: did you see that shmee posted carrot top's senior picture in his avatar?

marv albert: YES! And it counts!

[/hangs up phone]

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Michael Horan

1B / P

Bats - Switch

Throws - Switch

Number - 69

Running Abilities - Slightly faster than Ed Asner.

Fastball Speed - No speed left in the arm, but batters tend to back away when you have a wicked curve. It also helps when you tell them that you're going to bury a fastball in their temple.

Favorite Position - 3/4 Doggy Style!

Love of the Game? - Yeah, kinda, but I'm really just on the team so I can bang a few Annies.

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Name: Brandon Clouatre

Pos.: 1B / Closer

Number: #27

Bats and throws: Right

Running abilities: To quote Christopher Cross..."Gonna ride like the wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind...ride like the wind."

Pitches and speeds: (the speeds are from high school....11 years and a torn rotator cuff ago) 4-seam fastball (92), Sweeping curve (71), Slider (66), Change-up (68), and Eephus (25)

Baseball gods I idolized: Will Clark (2nd cousin...no lie there my friends) and Kenton Tekulve (All about the swoop.)

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Did we really have to bump a 4 year old thread like this?

Although I will give credit for bringing back all the classic Nick jokes.

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