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MLS 2007 Uni Changes


AJM

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FOXBORO, MA - The CCSLC Press Syndicate has learned that in the wake of Tom Brady's much-publicized fathering of a child out of wedlock, the Kraft Group is expected to announce that the New England Revolution have entered into a jersey sponsorship agreement with Ortho-McNeill Pharmaceutical.

The deal, financial details of which have yet to be disclosed, calls for the Revolution to don jerseys bearing the name of Ortho Tri-Cyclen - a leading brand of precsription oral contraceptive.

"When life gives you lemons... you make lemonade," said a Kraft Group employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Many people would see Tom's bastard child as an embarrasing mistake. We at the Kraft Group of companies choose to see it as the development of a synergistic opportunity between our Patriot and Revolution properties."

"In fact, we're hoping Tom knocks Gisele up soon," the Kraft Group source continued. "After all, she's Brazilian... and her kid should grow up to be one hell of a soccer player! Plus, with Tom as his dad, he won't count against our international player allotment."

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