Lee.

CCSLC Loveline

4,114 posts in this topic

You like her. You like the way she acts with you. You like being with her.

 

Screw everyone else. They can get over it.

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I'm in kind of a weird place and maybe some of you can help. My long-term GF (7 1/2 years) and I recently split (On St. Patrick's Day) and I'm feeling great. We were together for long enough and it happened recently and rough enough that I almost feel strange for feeling so good.

 

I'm from CO but have been living in IN since new years for Grad school. I don't know all that many people (yet) but those who I do know I would not be interested in. I feel like I should get back out there but my mind is telling me it's too soon. Even if I were to 'get out there' It feels so odd, I'm not interested in doing the college undergrad stuff or being in a relationship with an undergrad (or really even a grad student) but I also feel the need to get back into it B) for lack of a better term. 

 

Basically this is uncharted waters for my personal, professional and now dating life and I don't know exactly how to navigate that last part just yet. Has anyone been in a similar position?

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I feel like you left out one of the most important parts of this situation... how recent is "recent"?

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2 hours ago, lopernv said:

I feel like you left out one of the most important parts of this situation... how recent is "recent"?

I updated my post but this Friday will be the two week mark.

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Joined Tinder a couple days ago... and immediately realized how stupid it is.

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Depends on what you're using it for. I had a lot of fun with Tinder back when I used it. 

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Met my current girlfriend through Tinder and even though it, like any other dating or "meet people" app, is sketchy and full of people who are totally mixed up, you have to decide if it's for you or not.  Like most of life, it is what you make it.

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Besides, if you're on Tinder with religious objections to one nighters you're wasting your and everyone else's time.

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Also met my girlfriend of a year and a half through Tinder. Like CS85 said, there's a lot of garbage to sift through, and depending on what you're looking for, it's easier than a lot of other things.

 

59 minutes ago, LMU said:

Besides, if you're on Tinder with religious objections to one nighters you're wasting your and everyone else's time.

 

Also this. Probably one of the most frustrating part when I started with the app. 2/3 of the profiles say "not here for hookups" when Tinder was almost exclusively for hookups.

 

Then again, my girlfriend and I didn't start out with hookups. (Quite the frustrating courtship process, lol, but we persevered ;) )

 

But yeah, there's many online options (Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, etc) and it's all whatever you want to make of it. Plus I know you're young, nascar. Just ask people out on dates. You don't have to find your soulmate on the first go. You don't know what's out there unless you try.

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Main reason I got Tinder was because a couple friends convinced me to get it and actually have been asking to create one for me for a while, so I guess peer pressure wins this round. 

 

Part of me downloaded it just to get it, but the other part of me still thinks there's a sliver of potential with it. I think it may be better if I were living in a larger area like Columbus. However, I'm anywhere between an hour to three hours away from Columbus (depends on where I use it), and about an hour from Athens. 

 

When I use it at home, I either get people from Athens (a little far for me) or people I went to high school with, which makes it a little awkward.

 

At school (New Concord, OH), I see people from as far as Akron, Columbus, Athens, Kent, etc. It doesn't seem to matter if I change my location settings either. I've swiped right on a couple people from school but nothing yet. Given, I've only had it for less than a week, so there's that too. 

 

There is this one girl I WOULD ask out who I mentioned briefly last time I was in this thread, but we know each other a little too well and I know she, uh, gets around pretty well. I kissed her a couple weeks ago (long story) but it didn't mean anything to either of us. She's one of the two who convinced me to get the app, but as I said, we know each other a little too well. 

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So things just ended with the woman I've been going out with for the last several months. It was actually pretty amicable. Definitely ended better than my last relationship. I think the writing had been on the wall for a bit now, so that made things easier. We just wanted very different things. I mean, we just discussed things calmly and rationally and realized it just wasn't going to work long term and there wasn't much reason to continue on together, even though we still got along. I don't know, never really felt this "okay" with the end of a relationship, so it's sort of puzzling to me (I'm sure it'll start sinking in in the upcoming days, but at the same time, I feel like I had already been bracing for it for awhile now). I guess things just met a natural conclusion. I'm actually excited to get back out there and meet new people again and try to actually get in a relationship with long term prospects.

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On 5/3/2017 at 10:44 PM, Arts11 said:

So things just ended with the woman I've been going out with for the last several months. It was actually pretty amicable. Definitely ended better than my last relationship. I think the writing had been on the wall for a bit now, so that made things easier. We just wanted very different things. I mean, we just discussed things calmly and rationally and realized it just wasn't going to work long term and there wasn't much reason to continue on together, even though we still got along. I don't know, never really felt this "okay" with the end of a relationship, so it's sort of puzzling to me (I'm sure it'll start sinking in in the upcoming days, but at the same time, I feel like I had already been bracing for it for awhile now). I guess things just met a natural conclusion. I'm actually excited to get back out there and meet new people again and try to actually get in a relationship with long term prospects.

 

It's okay when relationships end on good terms.  It doesn't happen often, but it's healthy when it does.  My latest ex and I had kind of a dismal breakup but it wasn't angry or contentious.  Sometimes it just kinda...ends.  And that's okay.  We've texted from time to time, but it's very sparing and mostly of a, "you doing okay?" nature.  We're both with new people now and happier, but it's not a waste to tell somebody that used to be special to you and are still on okay terms with that they didn't lose a friend. 


There are times when it's extremely patronizing and insulting when a significant other breaks up with you and expects there to be a friendship between you two, don't get me wrong, but that's kind of up to you.  

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On 5/5/2017 at 0:29 PM, CS85 said:

 

It's okay when relationships end on good terms.  It doesn't happen often, but it's healthy when it does.  My latest ex and I had kind of a dismal breakup but it wasn't angry or contentious.  Sometimes it just kinda...ends.  And that's okay.  We've texted from time to time, but it's very sparing and mostly of a, "you doing okay?" nature.  We're both with new people now and happier, but it's not a waste to tell somebody that used to be special to you and are still on okay terms with that they didn't lose a friend. 


There are times when it's extremely patronizing and insulting when a significant other breaks up with you and expects there to be a friendship between you two, don't get me wrong, but that's kind of up to you.  

 

Even though we broke up, we're still texting each other some. Pretty superficial topics. Mostly stuff like, "what'd you eat for lunch? how was that movie? Etc." 

 

That being said, I've kinda been talking to this new girl. Well actually, I knew her as a friend of a friend from before this last relationship, but we were never really close. She's quite a bit different personality-wise, but there's something about her. It may just be because she's a new mystery to me so it's kinda exciting/fresh, but we've got similar backgrounds, jobs, and I've learned we've got a couple surprising shared interests.

 

Either way, I'm debating whether or not to actually test the waters right now. From what I've been told by our mutual friends, she can be a little clingy (think: always a bridesmaid, never a bride). Plus I'm changing jobs soon and I'll have stuff to prepare for that transition, so the timing's not great right now. Still, I kinda want to see what happens and if nothing develops, itll help me get it out of my system now so I can focus on the other stuff.

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On 4/14/2017 at 3:47 PM, mr.nascar13 said:

Main reason I got Tinder was because a couple friends convinced me to get it and actually have been asking to create one for me for a while, so I guess peer pressure wins this round. 

 

Part of me downloaded it just to get it, but the other part of me still thinks there's a sliver of potential with it. I think it may be better if I were living in a larger area like Columbus. However, I'm anywhere between an hour to three hours away from Columbus (depends on where I use it), and about an hour from Athens. 

 

When I use it at home, I either get people from Athens (a little far for me) or people I went to high school with, which makes it a little awkward.

 

At school (New Concord, OH), I see people from as far as Akron, Columbus, Athens, Kent, etc. It doesn't seem to matter if I change my location settings either. I've swiped right on a couple people from school but nothing yet. Given, I've only had it for less than a week, so there's that too. 

 

There is this one girl I WOULD ask out who I mentioned briefly last time I was in this thread, but we know each other a little too well and I know she, uh, gets around pretty well. I kissed her a couple weeks ago (long story) but it didn't mean anything to either of us. She's one of the two who convinced me to get the app, but as I said, we know each other a little too well. 

I had Tinder. Swiped right a bunch of times but got very few matches and those I did match with usually wouldn't talk. I'm not into hookups either so, whatever. Right now there are a couple ladies in my hometown that I'm trying to get the 411 on, but I'm going old-fashioned and asking mutual acquaintances to help me out. We'll see how it goes.

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