Lee.

CCSLC Loveline

4,110 posts in this topic

Pinned, for her pleasure.

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Lamicus, is there a place where I can do it for free. I'm single and strip bars are too expensive.

Airport bathroom stalls and highway rest stops.

Just remember...three taps means you're available.

Ten taps means you're practicing for a musical.

I thought Lamicus was supposed to be the one dispensing the advice in this thread. He is the trained professional (or at least I hope he is).

Lamicus,

You have a great name, like a philosopher. Anyway, I am a 19-year old male who cannot talk to females. And from the 14 hours of TV I watch daily, I am under the assumption that girls like sensitive guys, but if that is the case, then why do they, in real life, like popular "handsome" guys, athletes, rich kids, etc., despite the fact that they don't listen to them?

That being said, here's my take on this one. TV and movies do, in fact, lie. In real life, the sensitive guys get walked all over and stunts like showing up with flowers and serenading her from outside her kindergarten classroom or calling 22 times a day will only get you hit with a restraining order or telephone misuse charges. I would suggest getting your hands on a Lexus and some cubic zirconia stud earrings (a 19-year-old girl won't know they're fake) by any means possible.

Pinned, for her pleasure.

My ladies have always preferred ribbed, but to each his own.

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Pinned, for her pleasure.

My ladies have always preferred ribbed, but to each his own.

Still, you can't deny that it's better being on top :P

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I did it cause well...I wanted to play the field, I'm playing Junior A Hockey next year...shes going to college and I just don't know if we could handle a long distance relationship. I know I'm relatively young, but she would make the perfect wife...in all honesty. My question to you is, get back together with her...and try to make the long distance thing work- or stay single until we can be closer again?

If you're young enough to name your image files "pimpin.jpg," there's no relatively about it. Stay broken up now, because she's going to dump you after winter break her freshman year in college. That's how it's always gone in the history of the world. Especially considering that she's older. Really, you have no chance. Best to move on with your pride intact, I think.

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Pinned, for her pleasure.

My ladies have always preferred ribbed, but to each his own.

Still, you can't deny that it's better being on top :P

Do you mean man or woman on top? If you mean woman on top, I agree. Man on top requires expending so much additional energy. Plus, the way my bedroom is configured, I can't see the TV while I'm on top (unless I use the reflection in the picture over our bed).

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Pinned, for her pleasure.

My ladies have always preferred ribbed, but to each his own.

Still, you can't deny that it's better being on top :P

Do you mean man or woman on top? If you mean woman on top, I agree. Man on top requires expending so much additional energy. Plus, the way my bedroom is configured, I can't see the TV while I'm on top (unless I use the reflection in the picture over our bed).

It's great either way, but I like it better on top, I'm still young enough and in good enough shape to enjoy it ;)

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

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Pinned, for her pleasure.

My ladies have always preferred ribbed, but to each his own.

Still, you can't deny that it's better being on top :P

Do you mean man or woman on top? If you mean woman on top, I agree. Man on top requires expending so much additional energy. Plus, the way my bedroom is configured, I can't see the TV while I'm on top (unless I use the reflection in the picture over our bed).

This is where you're going awry. There are many lightweight, easily-concealed mirrored options for the ceiling available to the everyman. Jsut be careful when installing; a popcorn ceiling has caused many an eye injury in the past.

Also, a love swing.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

Dr. Jonathan Swift had a suggestion for that.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

The easy, short answer (and really, it's usually the best answer) is to tell your wife that you will absolutely do no work on these children on a contingency basis. If she wants children, she needs to pay up front. Feel free to make a "pro boner" joke.

Also, move to Canada. the Canadian government pays up to $400 a month to feed and clothe healthy, white babies to the birth parents until the age of 18; after 18, the child is expected to enter our super-soldier, or "Weapon X" program with the military.

Either way, you make money, and the kid's out the door at 18. You really can't lose.

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Do you mean man or woman on top? If you mean woman on top, I agree. Man on top requires expending so much additional energy. Plus, the way my bedroom is configured, I can't see the TV while I'm on top (unless I use the reflection in the picture over our bed).

If you're even remotely interested in television at that point, you're doing it wrong.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

I'd personally suggest adopting. A 16 year old girl from a far away land could bring in fairly big bucks pimpin' her out, and there's no long-lasting emotional attachment to worry about on your end.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

....not to mention a severe cramp on any kind of love/date/sex life.

Although crying baby + Benadryl in the bottle = good long nap.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

Dr. Jonathan Swift had a suggestion for that.

More of a proposal, really. A delicious, savory proposal.

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Lamicus,

Is it true that one should not, as Woody Harrelson put it, "mow another guy's lawn"? I'm happy to say I didn't, because I don't trust a girl hitting on me constantly while she's currently with some other guy for over two years. She's cool, don't get me wrong (her idea of hanging out includes sitting on a couch watching Ninja Turtle movies) but I didn't take anything too far.

Just thought I'd add fuel to this hilarious fire.

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Lammy? What's the best way to propose to my girlfriend?

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

The easy, short answer (and really, it's usually the best answer) is to tell your wife that you will absolutely do no work on these children on a contingency basis. If she wants children, she needs to pay up front. Feel free to make a "pro boner" joke.

Also, move to Canada. the Canadian government pays up to $400 a month to feed and clothe healthy, white babies to the birth parents until the age of 18; after 18, the child is expected to enter our super-soldier, or "Weapon X" program with the military.

Either way, you make money, and the kid's out the door at 18. You really can't lose.

Is the bolded part true? If so, I'm so getting my immigration papers ready. Do you have room at your place for 4 more people?

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

Now there's a guy that knows what he's doing. I like your style Gordie.

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Oh great and wise Lamicus, I have come to seek out your sage advice!

I am married, and have been now for just over four months. My wife and I have had the discussion about children, and have come to the conclusion that we want some.

How best could I make a profit from this situation, as children are both time consuming and expensive?

The easy, short answer (and really, it's usually the best answer) is to tell your wife that you will absolutely do no work on these children on a contingency basis. If she wants children, she needs to pay up front. Feel free to make a "pro boner" joke.

Also, move to Canada. the Canadian government pays up to $400 a month to feed and clothe healthy, white babies to the birth parents until the age of 18; after 18, the child is expected to enter our super-soldier, or "Weapon X" program with the military.

Either way, you make money, and the kid's out the door at 18. You really can't lose.

Is the bolded part true? If so, I'm so getting my immigration papers ready. Do you have room at your place for 4 more people?

Read on, young man.

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Lamicus,

Is it true that one should not, as Woody Harrelson put it, "mow another guy's lawn"? I'm happy to say I didn't, because I don't trust a girl hitting on me constantly while she's currently with some other guy for over two years. She's cool, don't get me wrong (her idea of hanging out includes sitting on a couch watching Ninja Turtle movies) but I didn't take anything too far.

Mowing another man's lawn is only cool if the original landscaper isn't doing the job properly. In this case, the lawn itself may opt for a sub-contractor.

Lammy? What's the best way to propose to my girlfriend?

There are two ways to go here, Brian.

  1. Always in a public place or surrounded by family and friends (reducing the risk of rejection)
  2. Never immediately following a really good orgasm.

However, before going through with this, you may wish to consult an attorney as to your region's besitality laws.

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