Sign in to follow this  
Lee.

Let's redo rap lyrics as though they were written in Victorian English

Recommended Posts

No translating. All out of our heads.

Admittedly, I resorted to Thesaurus.com at the end because I ran out of polite ways to say "butt."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm attempting to make this rhyme as much as possible, while retaining the original meaning. Proper nouns have also been omitted.

I say! Nippers, do fiendish pursuits excite you?

Enjoy viewing singletons, piercing the skins of my lamps, completely through?

Imitate me to the utmost degree?

Use opium and become dished up moreso than me?

My garret is empty, I am in attempt to correct this need

However, I am unable to decide which dollymop to seed

A cater cousin said "Good sir, you have become untwisted"

"Nay!" - "Why is your chivvy brandy-faced? You are utterly toasted"

You see, since but an urchin of twelve, I have felt unlike myself

Due to being hempened from my lig's top shelf

Became glimflashy, ramped a bushel bubby's dugs

And struck her with as much force that it reversed her togs

I funk a spanking of opium, bring my arse to an anchor

Much like the crummy wench who did the same, quicker

"Come hither, harlot!" - "Cease, good sir, for she is my froe!"

"I care not, I have been divinely chosen to anger the world so!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I almost prefer it when they don't rhyme, it's more absurd and ridiculous sounding that way.

Anyway, here's another one.

Verily, I have consumed several snifters of brandy, do you dare I seek my chariot?

Throughout my existence, I have been a gentleman of limited means

My bedchamber has remained cold, due to a wolfish fur upon my palm

Clothing tattered as if I were a rippling brute

I expactorate and drool often when engaging in conversation

Also I fornicate with most any creature upon legs, man or beast

During fargone days of my youth, I would make a great calamity when hungered

Yet my mother of little milk and withered teat could not provide nourishment

"Hi, My Name Is" by Eminem

I just drank a fifth of vodka,dare me to drive?

All my life I was very deprived

I aint had a woman in years, my palms are to hairy to hide

Clothes rip like the incredible hulk

I spit when I talk

I :censored: anything that walks

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

How you goin to breast feed me, mom?

You aint got no t*ts!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I shall say it thrice. Nay! Six or even nine times! In the name of the Lord, you are a fine English woman.

Please milady, I humbly request that you deliver a swift blow to my face just once additionally.

Lower your hindquarters! Forsooth, it is my desire that you should continue to do so multiple times!

Hark! Alert your attentions to the window! Verily, the window!

Now, turn away and alert them to the wall! Verily, the wall!

Until the perspiration flows from my God-fearing soul and runneth over my most private of places,

I shall wait for the foul wenches that surround us to drop to their knees in prayer!

Until all those who fornicate with those most sacred as Mary have released the seed of life onto the wanton faces of their sinful partners,

Nay, until ALL have released their seed onto such faces, may we all be smote by the vengeful fist of the Lord.

Get Low- Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A deep thicket piques my curiosity

I must refrain from submerging

A deep thicket piques my curiosity

I must refrain from submerging

Shards of glass lay strewn about

Commoners relieving themselves upon the staircase, they appear unconcerned

The stench is foul, and the din too great

I have not the means to depart, I am left with nary an alternative

Vermin in the parlour, and an infestation of pestilent insects in the pantry

Drunkards in the passageway with a cricket paddle

I attempted to remove my person from the premises but I was rebuffed

As there was a gentleman with a bridle who took possession of my most trustworthy steed

Chorus:

Do not move forward upon my person, as I am near the precipice

I am attempting to retain my wits about mine self, I can assure thee

[2nd and 5th: I can assure thee]

[4th: I beg your pardon?]

A deep thicket piques my curiosity

I must refrain from submerging

A deep thicket piques my curiosity

I must refrain from submerging

Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five – The Message

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

Broken glass everywhere

People pissing on the stairs, you know they just don't care

I can't take the smell, I can't take the noise no more

Got no money to move out, I guess I got no choice

Rats in the front room, roaches in the back

Junkies in the alley with the baseball bat

I tried to get away, but I couldn't get far

Cause a man with a tow-truck repossessed my car

Chorus:

Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge

I'm trying not to lose my head, ah huh-huh-huh

[2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]

[4th: say what?]

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Smoking and drinking, causing the lady of the night to think that if currency produces a foul stench, this dark-skinned fellow Biggie is positively malodorous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I recite, Would someone please inform me what events are transpiring at present?

Sir Francis Drake has entered the establishment

I am ready. How do you do sir?

Recently I had my leg amputated but in the most fortunate circumstances I have returned.

I truly have a penchant for acquiring many shiilings not unlike the casinos do.

Football Association attitude, Fancy little teacup life,

Daily events truly are invariable, therefore this evening shall be identical to tomorrow's evening

I will have the most comely of brides

Your lady I must profess is less than flattering

Every time I grace your presence my demeanor is of a fellow who has triumphed in the Casino contests

(Sir Francis, you have procured these gentleman, Am I correct?)

Affirmative, Bun, I love mineself because I do swear that the others life is simply not as convivial as the life of yours truly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ay! Kobe!

Telleth me the delectability of my hindparts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good sir, I say to you, I expressed shock upon perusing her bountiful rump

Engaged in gleeful conversation though I was, I maintained a sense of calm

Awaiting the perfect moment to exemplify my unique style (indeed)

At which point, I may direct her attention to my chariot's reins

Therefore, I am about to depart this venue

I kindly ask that you respect the fellows with whom I have attended said venue

Surely I have the deed to an extravagant suite located on the uppermost floor of a well-respected inn

From such locale, I may proceed to the rooftop and provide nourishment to all the winged creatures

I mislead you not, nor do I possess trickery, nor do I irritate you with juvenile behaviour

I simply ask that you raise yourself and advance to the region whereupon one might rollick

And fulfill the request of the gentleman wishing for such a chance (ah)

Indeed, an urge has come over me and I must exhibit much exuberance and caress your bodice (yes, quite)

No others are able to prevent me from doing so; why do you hesitate?

I repeat, it is warming significantly in this establishment (quite oppressive, actually)

So freely remove your personal attire

(This heat is rather uncomfortable; I wish to shed my apparel)

Nelly - Hot in Herre

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I nominate this thread for the Goldmine!

Although I started the thread, your wish is my command.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this