Lee.

If I wanted to watch the Grammys, I'd go surf for old people sex on the inntertubes

If nothing else, I think its safe to rule Jonathan Winters out as a suspect in Boston.

If skeletonizing a leftover rotisserie chicken at 2:30 am were an Olympic event, I'd take at least the bronze.

If the Monopoly vote were truly representative of the internet, we'd be rounding free parking with goatse.

If the Supremes Court doesn't end each session with "Baby Love" then this isn't a world I want to live in.

If you're an attractive woman with an eastern european accent, be advised that I *will* ask you to say "moose and squirrel."

If you're looking for me, I'm in the minivan in the superstore parking lot blasting James Brown.

if your Jesus is so great, why do you need billboards to tell us about him?

Immediately after work, I'm going to the liquor store, picking up liquor, and going home to liquor myself into Saturday. #liquor

Important to ask, in light of the Xbox reveal, where I can get cheap GameCube stuff

In case you missed it, KITTEHS http://t.co/imAIK9ddOn

In west Philadelphia born and raised on the playground is how I spent most of my days, ten years ago we had

Insomnia sucks.

Iran has sent a monkey into space. It'd.be cooler if they'd used a rocket. #acmegiantrubberband

Irving attempts, but fails, a jailbreak. http://t.co/EhwZWLbJ60

Is Sonic out of the hospital yet? Is he okay? Oh wait sorry wrong hedgehog I meant Ron Jeremy #Ronicthehedgehog #imgoingbacktobed

It takes a village to charge a toilet.

It was nice of clearly contacts to send my glasses in this handy penis warmer. http://t.co/iA18KMp74O

It's a good thing nothing ever happens in @cityofpenticton on a Saturday, so no one ever needs to get in touch with the RCMP or anything.

It's a Ween day. http://t.co/RBADmEX0DO

It's Always Easter In Philadelphia s7: Mac Bunny carries around a garbage bag full of brightly colored chimichangas

It's Dustin Byfuglien's birthday. Let's all celebrate by getting liquored and boating down the middle of main street in Roseau, MN.

It's my go to yard beer. No regrets. — Drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) by @pabstblueribbon — http://t.co/jQ651N2CW9

It's my way or the Norway

Ive been up since 5. All I want is to watch the Jets game. Wife won't give up the laptop, kids have the TV. it getting drunk.