I think you're in the minority there. But I forgot you're an old fogy who hates anything modern or innovative. Might I suggest getting a time machine and going back to 1951? I think you'd be happier there.
You're not sold on the "sphincter" (head in the gutter much?), but you're sold on the Jawa Sandcrawler. The roof looks like it will open plenty wide, at least as much as Dallas or Arizona. Minnesota's roof won't open at all.