SumanCommaJake

"Nothing feels real anymore"

Defi doesn't @karrah_rath http://t.co/BpV5z0fXgp

Thank god for music

Ice :censored:ing cold

Nothing beats karaoke a la Ruder @maxwell_p @__christiana

Just won 50 bones at the Eagles. Holla at me.

Happy birthday to Giorgio A. Tsoukalos. Aliens, baby.

I bet the Catholics picked Based God as the new pope

Lmao, Green Bay is still gonna twerk the Lions twice next year regardless of who they sign in free agency

LMFAO I'm such a fiend!! http://t.co/4RoZcYlcXv

my life RT “@AdamSchefter: This is interesting: Chiefs free-agent RB Peyton Hillis is visiting the Green Bay Packers.”

I'm on my way to Tennessee, singin Georgia On My Mind

S/O to my twitterless mother, who is now a proud owner of an iPhone 5 and dat swagg

A classic Corrine one liner ?RT “@C_Gasaway: Fun fact: a whale's penis is called adork”

I sincerely apologize to the music Gods for just now listening to the Reckless and Relentless album

I could seriously sleep outside tonight

Like a cop car

Eating meatloaf and watching NASCAR, two all American activities

"I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that's what you mean"

These bitches with the giggles need to slow their roles immediately

S/O to biweekly four hour Saturday 8 a.m. classes. You shine light on even the dreariest of days

Oh heelllll nooo He$$ just requested Swing My Door by Gucci Mane lmao the start of the end of his night has officially commenced

"Room for you cream in your coffee sir?" Aintnobodygottimefodat Starbucks!

NAPA KNOW HOW, NAPA KNOW HOW http://t.co/EIiP2Eupqe

S/O to @karrah_rath for getting me addicted to The Walking Dead