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  1. I will probably leave my DMs open for a few weeks and check periodically, and then I may just set the account to pr…

  2. I'm sorry I'm trying to remove it* - - - - *my account

  3. Mayonnaise is the best pizza topping

  4. If my contact name in your phone isn't Lou Easy, then desafortunadamente no

  5. Re tweet me, while you sill can

  6. @yerpalmildsauce Ok

  7. Freedom looms, on the horizon, which nears

  8. @bromanconsul Better than mashed potatoes

  9. @clit__romney Permission to unfollow

  10. If you have a gun, please destroy me

  11. Add me to your group DM so I can link every tweet I've ever written that starts with "Add me to your group DM" back…

  12. @ascendingcarl You have now entered stand up comedy twitter. You live here now

  13. Part II