Coolisiana

@Prof_Hinkley Yes

Ok so apparently using the word "placenta" more than 10 times on a date at your girlfriend's parents' house is detrimental

RT @Coolisiana: Some less popular phrases invented by the guy who coined "head over heels in love" • Skin-colored with envy • A penny saved…

@VapingSonic This https://t.co/Uf4r8p8zJe

RT @jawbroken: November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the…

I may have only been awake for an hour, but I've been woke for 23 years

Linda the Spider just keeps spinning webs across my door. It's probably a coincidence that she spells out Goodbye every night, but maybe not

RT @Coolisiana: Lol mom's wild https://t.co/HI583czYLw

Please read this twice before discarding it

*backs away*

*I pull the chair out from behind my grandpa but he falls down and dies* Ha ha. Why aren't any of you laughing. He was 90 anyway

https://t.co/6hJbV5ZRAN

So basically I'm just going to cycle out the rest of these drafts as seen below (there are ~twenty) and then deactivate. Deal?

@BaconShark @SenseiSmokes I am owned

@SarahCubed By liking it you're encouraging that I do it though. Stop appropriating grandma culture

HER: I had a really great time tonight ME: *thinking about how I reserved the word "great" for when I see dingos in person* Ok

@roostermustache Get the heck off my brand

@adiablo20 Stop this

RT @Coolisiana: (Former dentist committing his first murder) Any last words? *shoves gun in victim's mouth before he can get a word out*

@punmagnate Thanks

PSA: Wheelchairs do not make good bathtubs. Thank you for your consideration however. Is that a steak knife

My eyelids are heavy, but my brain is alert, focused, CAPTIVATED by the bag of croutons in my kitchen

(2037) *invents a car that literally projects entire widescreen movies onto the windshield* *zero people object whatsoever*

@clit__romney Yesss I have adopted it as my new #brand now ya feel

@OneTrickTofani Are u making fun of me