Coolisiana

@nobleofcoble Bad

I have decided to die. Thank you for the support

@claire_boeck @Katie_Schulzet @ariasrafael65 @Mr_Freki Holy crap you have a ton of friends

Bully: Get lost, kid Me, leading a life with zero direction: Buddy you don't even know the half of it

@BaconShark This is good

@justabloodygame I tend to agree

@BeTheCookie To me it just sounds better to start off with house that I plan on living in for a very long time for best financial situation

RT @buttnight: *someone pulls out in front of me while I'm driving but they're a safe, reasonable distance away* ARE You fuNKING kidding me

*injects an entire bottle of caulk down my esophagus* I'm dieting

@BaconShark Gee thanks

(Magic show) MAGICIAN: Don't see ur card eh? Well watch this *reaches for back pocket* *is immediately shot by audience member just in case*

@iamspacegirl If ur happier now and this only reminds u of those times all those hours ago then I am sorry but https://t.co/jZeKELA8Q9

The best accent hands down is Australian don't @ me

*is hot* PERSON: You're hot ME: I am not cool

@House_Feminist I think this tweet automatically assumes I'm not blind and that's not cool

@daadvaims I do not do this

@ryanricco813 I literally had some 4 hours ago

ME: This college degree cost lots of blood, sweat, and tears to obt- PUS GUY: And pus. Don't forget the tons of pus ME: Get lost, Pus Guy

I just saw the hottest girl ever. I probably should've tried to help put the fire out but the extinguisher was all the way in the next room

*insert 'Me at 3am' meme*

Is it a good morning?

My new Fitbit™ now quantizes how little I enjoy things https://t.co/bV10iy97Hy

Dead is, me

@BaconShark You mean upsides

@batkaren I missed last night and its too early so here's a 17 month old pic of me & my girl (we're still together) https://t.co/0DxIo6x3Iz