Crabcake

Every day The Onion becomes more and more of a reputable news source.

Brewers experience the nadir of their season on April 11, as they got shut out by the Orioles.

24 is so young man. Way way too soon. A very sobering reminder that the people that we cheer for and against on Sundays are real people with real lives and real families.

Bbbbbbbbbbut muh #PitchersWhoRake!!!!!11!1!11!

Comments like this really rub me the wrong way. Our pitchers have been batting cage machines for far longer than that.

The Canes going from their original jerseys to this is like when a company nowadays swaps out their old logo full of character, color, and a unique font for the same streamlined, one-color-all-lowercase-sans serif-wordmark logo that everyone is using nowadays. This jersey is about as soulless as it gets. I'll echo the sentiments of everyone else talking about Carolina. They hit it absolutely 100% perfectly the first go round and should never have changed.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Keep the manufacturer's logo on the right chest where it belongs. The best kits in the world are the ones that have one manufacturer's logo on it, in that spot.

Looks like Ravens WR Rashod Bateman is switching from 12 to 7. Downgrade imo, I’ve always felt like the Ravens’ 7 is underwhelming somehow, can’t really put my finger on it. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb8fT7EvXt9/

Bobby Wagner is wearing 45 with the Rams

I didn't do any additional digging on this guy because my depression over the fact that real human beings like this exist won out over my morbid curiosity, but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest to find out that he's a Steelers fan.

BLACKOUT VIBES

I pointed out in another thread (too lazy to find the specific post) that making the Falcons’ font more angular, like they did with the 2 in the set, would make it so much better. The Ravens’ 1 would be a perfect design to play off of IMO.

That’s honestly really interesting, because it’s one of the first “how do we fix baseball?” dialogues I’ve heard that acknowledges that baseball’s problems are deep-rooted. A symptomatic change doesn’t suddenly make all the difference. MLB is not going to leapfrog the NBA into second place because they decided to add a pitch clock. Something fundamental - or at the very least, radical enough that the average shmuck like myself can’t think of it while typing on a message board - needs to change if MLB wants to start making headway in the North American sports landscape. What is that change? Heck if I know. It’s the job of someone who is paid a lot more than me to figure it out.

The font severely drags down a look that had the potential to be a solid update to the Falcons identity. That and the giant ATL on the chest too, but one problem at a time.

Yeah, that one. The worst things about the NY jersey are that it's pretty frickin' boring and it hardly uses and blue or orange. That's a pretty grave sin on an Islanders jersey, but there was at least an explainable reason for them doing the black and white jersey with the move to Brooklyn. No one is mistaking it for a great jersey, but it's a 5 or 6/10. Meanwhile, the one where Tavares is still an alternate captain is a sneaky contender for the S tier of worst NHL uniforms ever. It's blatant BFBS, has more gray than blue or orange, is a piping mess, relegates the main logo to the shoulder yoke, and tops it all off with the arched-wordmark-over-number treatment. It's piping hot garbage. 2/10 and it's lucky to get that many.

That NY jersey deserves better. It’s not great, mind you, but it’s in a whole other stratosphere compared to that other monstrosity in your post.

I think this would be a fantastic Broncos look. Especially if they keep navy as a secondary color and use it like they use blue on the current away uniforms (navy numbers, orange outlines). I’ve always been a sucker for teams using their secondary color as the main accent color on their road jersey, not sure why.

Yeah this one was a shocker. Great point by Fakers+Snippers about Hill and Mahomes complimenting each other as much as they did. It’s been a while since a QB and WR felt like they were as made for each other as they were. I think they both will suffer being apart from each other, although their talents are certainly great enough to carry them on their own (Mahomes in particular). And as Red Comet said, off the field this is brilliant from KC. They saw the writing on the wall with his extension, knew he would leave or not be happy, and had the guts to trade him when his value was highest instead of waiting too long to salvage the situation.

Cool beans. If only I cared enough about the Orioles to watch.

I feel like we’ll get at least one old man Michaels moment during the season though where he says something to the effect of, “I’ll be honest, I don’t even know how this streaming nonsense works, I just walked into the booth they told me and started talking.” So at least we have that to look forward to.

Translation: he did some stuff but he throw ball good

I don’t care who you are, $230m fully guaranteed is insane. One injury or one more off the field incident and Cleveland is screwed for the foreseeable future. I’ll echo the sentiments of everyone else lamenting the fact that, once again, an athlete with a checkered past gets off because they throw ball good. Not only that, but Calvin Ridley is about to sit out an entire year for gambling and will probably have teams hesitating on him for years due to “off the field stuff” but as soon as NFL teams can put an alleged sexual assaulter on the front of their online store they queue up to do it.

Not only that, but throwing the only decent QB you've had in 20-plus years under the bus as well. I'm not pretending Baker is amazing or anything, but the only reason the Browns have the gumption to think they can pull this off is because Baker helped take them from "the literal laughingstock of North American sports" to a team that you at least had to respect and acknowledge was a team. I've never been mistaken for a Baker fan but he straight-up deserves better than this. The Browns continue to be the only people that can out-Browns themselves. Baker handled his looming contract situation in probably the worst way possible for him personally, and yet he still comes out of this with sympathy points because the Browns biffed it that badly. Unbelievable.

I'm super bummed about this, because Z would've been a huge piece on our defense. But at the same time, if you're willing to back out on your (prospective) team like that, it's probably better off for the team anyway. I just hope we can find someone to replace him. Oweh has tons of potential but still needs polish and Bowser, while a solid every down player, just can't get to the QB like that.

The 6 years is the killer there. Von Miller probably isn't worth $20m today and he certainly won't be worth it at 38.