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NHL Anti-Thread: Bad Business Decision Aggregator


The_Admiral

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It was confirmed on the Hotstove tonight that if the Coyotes do not have a deal in place by July 2nd, the team is moving to...

Seattle.

At this point, Bettman and the legislators are throwing b#tch slaps at Quebec. How did Seattle jump to the forefront of NHL relocation?

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It was confirmed on the Hotstove tonight that if the Coyotes do not have a deal in place by July 2nd, the team is moving to...

Seattle.

At this point, Bettman and the legislators are throwing b#tch slaps at Quebec. How did Seattle jump to the forefront of NHL relocation?

Because it's the second-stupidest option to staying in Phoenix.

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1 hour ago, ShutUpLutz! said:

and the drunken doodoobags jumping off the tops of SUV's/vans/RV's onto tables because, oh yeah, they are drunken drug abusing doodoobags

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It was confirmed on the Hotstove tonight that if the Coyotes do not have a deal in place by July 2nd, the team is moving to...

Seattle.

At this point, Bettman and the legislators are throwing b#tch slaps at Quebec. How did Seattle jump to the forefront of NHL relocation?

Because preserving the dumbass realignment has become more important than ensuring the league actually has 30 healthy teams.

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On 8/1/2010 at 4:01 PM, winters in buffalo said:
You manage to balance agitation with just enough salient points to keep things interesting. Kind of a low-rent DG_Now.
On 1/2/2011 at 9:07 PM, Sodboy13 said:
Today, we are all otaku.

"The city of Peoria was once the site of the largest distillery in the world and later became the site for mass production of penicillin. So it is safe to assume that present-day Peorians are descended from syphilitic boozehounds."-Stephen Colbert

POTD: February 15, 2010, June 20, 2010

The Glorious Bloom State Penguins (NCFAF) 2014: 2-9, 2015: 7-5 (L Pineapple Bowl), 2016: 1-0 (NCFAB) 2014-15: 10-8, 2015-16: 14-5 (SMC Champs, L 1st Round February Frenzy)

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So I decided to venture onto HFBoards and OH GOD

is it really an issue of readiness? Cleveland is more ready than either, the NHL just doesn't want to be there

sorry for Cleve'jacking the thread, but yeah that's another one that would totally make the "HFBoards Comment Aggregator Thread that Never Was"

oEQ0ySg.png

Twitter: @RyanMcD29 // College Crosse: Where I write, chat, and infograph lacrosse

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I think we also need to point out that the provisionally named "Seattle Totems" have a best case scenario of being 4th banana on the local sports scene, and will drop to 5th if the city ever gets its baseball team. Hell, depending on the support Washington gets up there they might drop another rank. Market size or not, does this league really want to put itself in a position where it will lose attendance and ratings wars to the :censored: ing MLS?!

On 8/1/2010 at 4:01 PM, winters in buffalo said:
You manage to balance agitation with just enough salient points to keep things interesting. Kind of a low-rent DG_Now.
On 1/2/2011 at 9:07 PM, Sodboy13 said:
Today, we are all otaku.

"The city of Peoria was once the site of the largest distillery in the world and later became the site for mass production of penicillin. So it is safe to assume that present-day Peorians are descended from syphilitic boozehounds."-Stephen Colbert

POTD: February 15, 2010, June 20, 2010

The Glorious Bloom State Penguins (NCFAF) 2014: 2-9, 2015: 7-5 (L Pineapple Bowl), 2016: 1-0 (NCFAB) 2014-15: 10-8, 2015-16: 14-5 (SMC Champs, L 1st Round February Frenzy)

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Extra bold prediction: they move the team to a locale where they speak French, but not Quebec. Maybe New Orleans? Or why not Port-Au-Prince?

I think Miami could support a second team.

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1. Seahawks

2. UW football

3. Mariners

4. Sounders

5. UW basketball

6. Reminiscing about the Sonics while watching Macklemore videos

7. Rooting for Chris Hansen and Steve Ballmer's pursuit of the NBA

8. Rat City Rollergirls

9. Seattle NHL team

And if the NHL did come to Seattle, then what? There's no guarantee of an arena to ever be built, there's no history of hockey support in this arena, and even if a new arena were constructed, the Seattle Coyotes would be permanently second place to Sonics 2.0.

I love for cool new things to come to my city, but I'm not so blinded by civic pride that I can't see this being a terrible idea. It'd be fun to see NHL hockey at KeyArena once or twice, but long-term? I just don't see it.

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1 hour ago, ShutUpLutz! said:

and the drunken doodoobags jumping off the tops of SUV's/vans/RV's onto tables because, oh yeah, they are drunken drug abusing doodoobags

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I think we also need to point out that the provisionally named "Seattle Totems" have a best case scenario of being 4th banana on the local sports scene, and will drop to 5th if the city ever gets its baseball team. Hell, depending on the support Washington gets up there they might drop another rank. Market size or not, does this league really want to put itself in a position where it will lose attendance and ratings wars to the :censored: ing MLS?!

There's a Freudian Slip if I've ever heard one.

spacer.png

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So I decided to venture onto HFBoards and OH GOD

is it really an issue of readiness? Cleveland is more ready than either, the NHL just doesn't want to be there

sorry for Cleve'jacking the thread, but yeah that's another one that would totally make the "HFBoards Comment Aggregator Thread that Never Was"

Yeah, this can't go on any longer:

http://boards.sportslogos.net/topic/93216-hfboards-bad-comment-aggregator-thread/

Done.

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Here is the best solution for this problem, told in the form of fiction:

The Phoenix Coyotes smiled dumbly, immune to the flies that swarmed thick in the muggy woodland air. "You just sit tight," muttered Gary as he secured the rope around the trunk of a stately elm. This was a good spot: several miles from the house, and the trees would muffle the sound.

Gary turned to load the cartridge. "Welp, I wish there was another way, old friend." The sun danced off of the steel barrels. The Phoenix Coyotes slobbered stupidly, a cunning look emanating from his rheumy eyes seemed almost spiteful to the same master who fought so hard to keep him. Not this time.

Gary raised the shotgun and set his sights. The only sound in the oppressive heat was the din of Shane Doans chirping and the distant crunches of Mike Smith sticks.

The shot rang out as mediocre players scattered out of the branches of the leafy locker rooms. His aim was true.

---

When he arrived home, his son met him at the back porch. Gary was surprised to see no tears. His boy smiled.

The child ran into the house shouting joyfully, "Dad did it! He finally killed it! YIPPEE!"

E3jV7.gif

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"You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke."

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1. Seahawks

2. UW football

3. Mariners

4. Sounders

5. UW basketball

6. Reminiscing about the Sonics while watching Macklemore videos

7. Rooting for Chris Hansen and Steve Ballmer's pursuit of the NBA

8. Rat City Rollergirls

9. Seattle NHL team

And if the NHL did come to Seattle, then what? There's no guarantee of an arena to ever be built, there's no history of hockey support in this arena, and even if a new arena were constructed, the Seattle Coyotes would be permanently second place to Sonics 2.0.

I love for cool new things to come to my city, but I'm not so blinded by civic pride that I can't see this being a terrible idea. It'd be fun to see NHL hockey at KeyArena once or twice, but long-term? I just don't see it.

"But...but the Seattle Storm's lease with the city only gives them the space for the gift shop and no suite revenues, nor any naming rights to KeyArena (which expired in 2010). Seattle is a goldmine ready for owners to make a profit!!!!!"

If it is Seattle, then Don Levin has shown the Board of Governors that he has the cash in escrow.

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1. Seahawks

2. UW football

3. Mariners

4. Sounders

5. UW basketball

6. Reminiscing about the Sonics while watching Macklemore videos

7. Rooting for Chris Hansen and Steve Ballmer's pursuit of the NBA

8. Rat City Rollergirls

9. Seattle NHL team

And if the NHL did come to Seattle, then what? There's no guarantee of an arena to ever be built, there's no history of hockey support in this arena, and even if a new arena were constructed, the Seattle Coyotes would be permanently second place to Sonics 2.0.

I love for cool new things to come to my city, but I'm not so blinded by civic pride that I can't see this being a terrible idea. It'd be fun to see NHL hockey at KeyArena once or twice, but long-term? I just don't see it.

"But...but the Seattle Storm's lease with the city only gives them the space for the gift shop and no suite revenues, nor any naming rights to KeyArena (which expired in 2010). Seattle is a goldmine ready for owners to make a profit!!!!!"

If it is Seattle, then Don Levin has shown the Board of Governors that he has the cash in escrow.

I don't think there's a money problem in Seattle, but I do think there's an interest one.

Ha -- I overlooked the Storm, Seattle's only two-time champion team. I don't feel bad, either.

1 hour ago, ShutUpLutz! said:

and the drunken doodoobags jumping off the tops of SUV's/vans/RV's onto tables because, oh yeah, they are drunken drug abusing doodoobags

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On September 20, 2012 at 0:50 AM, 'CS85 said:

It's like watching the hellish undead creakily shuffling their way out of the flames of a liposuction clinic dumpster fire.

On February 19, 2012 at 9:30 AM, 'pianoknight said:

Story B: Red Wings go undefeated and score 100 goals in every game. They also beat a team comprised of Godzilla, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, 2 Power Rangers and Betty White. Oh, and they played in the middle of Iraq on a military base. In the sand. With no ice. Santa gave them special sand-skates that allowed them to play in shorts and t-shirts in 115 degree weather. Jesus, Zeus and Buddha watched from the sidelines and ate cotton candy.

POTD 5/24/12POTD 2/26/17

 

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I think we also need to point out that the provisionally named "Seattle Totems" have a best case scenario of being 4th banana on the local sports scene, and will drop to 5th if the city ever gets its baseball team. Hell, depending on the support Washington gets up there they might drop another rank. Market size or not, does this league really want to put itself in a position where it will lose attendance and ratings wars to the :censored: ing MLS?!

There's a Freudian Slip if I've ever heard one.

How so?

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Because, historically, the Mariners are :censored: ing awful.

Only existing American League franchise to never reach the World Series. If memory serves, their only playoff appearances came in 1995, 1997, 2000, and 2001, they made the ALCS in three of those seasons, but the closest they have ever come to the World Series was a pair of 4-2 ALCS defeats in '95 (vs. Cleveland) and '00 (vs. New York).

Seattle's the most irrelevant baseball team in the American League, and arguably MLB altogether.

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Part of me almost wonders if attempting to move the team to Seattle is the NHL's attempt to trojan horse a temporary contraction through. "Oh look the arena isn't ready so we're going to have to suspend operations." Mind you, this theory means they believe they can convince a labor judge that Quebec is completely unviable and unready as a market, which in reality strikes me as unlikely barring the presence of a very corrupt judge and the exchange of a significant some of money.

On 8/1/2010 at 4:01 PM, winters in buffalo said:
You manage to balance agitation with just enough salient points to keep things interesting. Kind of a low-rent DG_Now.
On 1/2/2011 at 9:07 PM, Sodboy13 said:
Today, we are all otaku.

"The city of Peoria was once the site of the largest distillery in the world and later became the site for mass production of penicillin. So it is safe to assume that present-day Peorians are descended from syphilitic boozehounds."-Stephen Colbert

POTD: February 15, 2010, June 20, 2010

The Glorious Bloom State Penguins (NCFAF) 2014: 2-9, 2015: 7-5 (L Pineapple Bowl), 2016: 1-0 (NCFAB) 2014-15: 10-8, 2015-16: 14-5 (SMC Champs, L 1st Round February Frenzy)

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Because, historically, the Mariners are :censored: ing awful.

Only existing American League franchise to never reach the World Series. If memory serves, their only playoff appearances came in 1995, 1997, 2000, and 2001, they made the ALCS in three of those seasons, but the closest they have ever come to the World Series was a pair of 4-2 ALCS defeats in '95 (vs. Cleveland) and '00 (vs. New York).

Seattle's the most irrelevant baseball team in the American League, and arguably MLB altogether.

I understand that. I just don't see how it's a Freudian slip, since I thought he intended to say that to make fun of the Mariners.

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