NHL 15-16: wife-beaters, adulterers, cokeheads, rapists, pill-poppers, AND METHODISTS

[The_Admiral]

That's true, but how many potential Gretzkys are we losing in Canada because of coaches punishing kids for creativity? There's such importance placed on results at such early levels that players aren't being allowed to develop to the best of their abilities. Players are faster, stronger, and fitter than than they were in Gretzky's day, but what good is any of that if all these superior athletes are being pigeonholed into shot-blocking shells and boring-ass dump-and-chase? Then, of course, that works its way up to the NHL level and then you have that dead-eyed, sleeve-tatted, cunnilingus-eschewing oaf Jamie Benn winning the scoring title with 87 points. 

[Kramerica Industries]

Igor Larionov wrote about this as well not that long ago, and how Pavel Datsyuk likely never would've been allowed to be the player he became if he came up under, literally, any other head coach than Scotty Bowman.

 

Jon Cooper's treatment of Jonathan Drouin is the nearest-and-dearest example of punishing creativity due to "straying from The System" for me. Of course, Jon Cooper in general just makes me want to die as a Lightning fan at this point, but it all started with his treatment of Drouin.

[The_Admiral]

Blame TSN, in its thirst for non-NHL hockey the first time they lost the rights in the '90s, for transforming the U-18 Worlds from a quiet little tournament to a nationalistic mass-media spectacular.

[Kevin W.]

Now that John Scott is likely retiring, I'd like to see him take a shot at broadcasting. Maybe he can replace Milbury.

[The_Admiral]

No, no, a thousand times no. One of the bigger problems with hockey broadcasting is that the ranks are filled with 1) guys who are too entrenched in the boys' club to give honest assessments, 2) ex-goons, and 3) the overlap thereof. Do we really need another Tyson Nash or Jody Shelley, a marginal lunkhead who stayed in the league by punching people and demonstrating a thin veneer of likability to beat reporters and teammates in the dressing room? Why can't we have guys who had substantial careers and some sort of personality? Where are the guys with real personalities and real careers, like Charles Barkley or Shaq? Jeremy Roenick, I guess, but everyone bitches about him. Eddie Olczyk, to a lesser extent, but everyone bitches about him, too. Perhaps I'm beginning to see the problem here.

[Brass]

Well, that's what the Bruins get for not being able to beat the goddamned Quebec City Hurricanes. Can we blow this team up and get rid of anybody not named Patrice Bergeron and Torey Krug, please?

[The_Admiral]

Fare thee well, Northlands. Now let's all head over to Roger's place!

[Cosmic]

22 minutes ago, the admiral said:

Where are the guys with real personalities and real careers, like Charles Barkley or Shaq? Jeremy Roenick, I guess, but everyone bitches about him. Eddie Olczyk, to a lesser extent, but everyone bitches about him, too. Perhaps I'm beginning to see the problem here.

Guys with real careers and without gambling and/or drug problems would probably rather be fishing on Wapawekka Lake than catching a midnight flight to work the second half of a back-to-back.

[2001mark]

52 minutes ago, CRichardson said:

Now that John Scott is likely retiring, I'd like to see him take a shot at broadcasting. Maybe he can replace Milbury.

 

An empty cereal box could replace Milbury.

 

I'm picking Anaheim over Tampa Bay because I have no soul.

 

If I were the Oilers, maybe I'd ask the NHL to secretly not include me in the lottery... just give us the 2nd or 3rd pick & leave us out of the spotlight.  

[oddball]

4 hours ago, the admiral said:

No, no, a thousand times no. One of the bigger problems with hockey broadcasting is that the ranks are filled with 1) guys who are too entrenched in the boys' club to give honest assessments, 2) ex-goons, and 3) the overlap thereof. Do we really need another Tyson Nash or Jody Shelley, a marginal lunkhead who stayed in the league by punching people and demonstrating a thin veneer of likability to beat reporters and teammates in the dressing room? Why can't we have guys who had substantial careers and some sort of personality? Where are the guys with real personalities and real careers, like Charles Barkley or Shaq? Jeremy Roenick, I guess, but everyone bitches about him. Eddie Olczyk, to a lesser extent, but everyone bitches about him, too. Perhaps I'm beginning to see the problem here.

So you're looking for egotistical self-centered buffoons on your broadcasts? I've watched Barkley and Shaq, they bring nothing to the broadcast whatsoever except to act like a couple of 5 year olds.

[JayMac]

Well the Flyers perform a major choke job in Motown to make the wildcard race interesting. With Toronto and Pittsburgh at home and then in Brooklyn against the Islanders to close out the season, I still think they can claim the final spot but they are not making it easy for themselves. I'm glad Boston is in a tailspin. That certainly helps.

[Sport]

Thanks for nothing, Boston. 

 

and Blue Jackets lose the Tank-Off by beating Toronto 5-1. We're going to end up with Jesse Puljujarvi and Jarmo Kekalinen might die of an orgasm on the draft stage as he reads a Finn's name in the top 5.

[KittSmith_95]

37 minutes ago, McCarthy said:

Thanks for nothing, Boston. 

 

and Blue Jackets lose the Tank-Off by beating Toronto 5-1. We're going to end up with Jesse Puljujarvi and Jarmo Kekalinen might die of an orgasm on the draft stage as he reads a Finn's name in the top 5.

 

Puljujarvi is a nice pick-up.... as is that Finnish defensman also in the top 5.

[T-ROY]

17 hours ago, the admiral said:

No, no, a thousand times no. One of the bigger problems with hockey broadcasting is that the ranks are filled with 1) guys who are too entrenched in the boys' club to give honest assessments, 2) ex-goons, and 3) the overlap thereof. Do we really need another Tyson Nash or Jody Shelley, a marginal lunkhead who stayed in the league by punching people and demonstrating a thin veneer of likability to beat reporters and teammates in the dressing room? Why can't we have guys who had substantial careers and some sort of personality? Where are the guys with real personalities and real careers, like Charles Barkley or Shaq? Jeremy Roenick, I guess, but everyone bitches about him. Eddie Olczyk, to a lesser extent, but everyone bitches about him, too. Perhaps I'm beginning to see the problem here.

 

I have to disagree. I really like Jody Shelley as a commentator. Then again I like the FS Ohio commentators simply because they're probably the only unbiased commentators for regional broadcasting that I've heard. Tough guys normally have more personality than let's say the average Joe hockey player would. I'd really love to see Dan Carcillo or even George Parros on a broadcast in the future. The only broadcaster I can think of that does a great job of finding retired hockey players for commentators/analysts is TSN with Ferraro, Biron, O'Neill and Ward (besides the whole shoving fiasco). Marc Crawford and Torts were both great in their time there as well.

 

8 hours ago, McCarthy said:

Thanks for nothing, Boston. 

 

and Blue Jackets lose the Tank-Off by beating Toronto 5-1. We're going to end up with Jesse Puljujarvi and Jarmo Kekalinen might die of an orgasm on the draft stage as he reads a Finn's name in the top 5.

 

How would a Finn pronounce Auston Matthews? I wanna see that.

[RyanMcD29]

THE SMARTER THING WOULD'VE TO LET THE RANGERS LOSE BUT NOOOO NOW WE'RE GONNA GET STUCK LOSING TO THE PENS IN 5 RATHER THAN MAYBE BEAT THE PANTHERS IN 6 OR 7

[Kramerica Industries]

In fairness, with your injuries, you ain't beating Florida either. Florida is getting a fair but underrated on account of them being a) Florida and b ) being an up-and-comer who has little playoff experience at their core. There's no reason why Florida should lose to the Islanders, as is; no reason to lose to the Rangers either, really, given how awful the Rangers are on the blueline. Florida has gotten better as the season has gone along; their metrics of late align better with the results, and just from what I've watched of them, I'd give them a legitimate nod as well. 

 

I am enough of a homer to think that, at full strength, Tampa still beats them in a playoff series this year, but it's highly unlikely they would meet in a playoff series (the second round, specifically) with the Lightning at full strength. Maybe Stralman would be back during that series; virtually no chance Stamkos would. And, of course, getting through the first round without those two is a challenge aided only by facing one of two extremely beatable teams in Boston or Detroit (please Detroit). 

 

(Besides, the Rangers still win the ROW tiebreak, should it come down to that. Lose your last two games, and you'll still get Florida.)

[CS85]

The Blackhawks are apparently sadists, working their way into a series w/ the Stars, whom I think they have only defeated once all season, getting otherwise drubbed.

 

Egh.

[ninersdd]

Was at the game tonight, the Sharks were terrible on D and lost to the Jets with 10 seconds left. Would've loved to see some 3 on 3 in person. Fortunately this game doesn't matter at all. Hopefully Vlasic will be back by next week.

 

One interesting thing of note they asked a question to a fan "How many games has Paul Martin played vs the Winnipeg Jets?" I thought it would be like 15 and that's what the fan guessed. I think it was Puckguy who was the other fan and he went higher. The answer was 37, so very clever of them to include the dates with the Thrashers, so Puckguy won a prize.

[Crabcake]

I'm not liking how Washington is performing down the stretch. Two straight heartbreakers of losses that could've tied the goalie wins at home for Holtby, plus a 3-0 loss to the Coyotes. I know they'll probably be relatively fine once the playoffs start, but it's not exactly comforting as a fan to see some of these losses. 

[Cosmic]

22 hours ago, McCarthy said:

Thanks for nothing, Boston. 

 

and Blue Jackets lose the Tank-Off by beating Toronto 5-1. We're going to end up with Jesse Puljujarvi and Jarmo Kekalinen might die of an orgasm on the draft stage as he reads a Finn's name in the top 5.

I'm pretty sure the odds are better than 50-50 that the 3rd place team will drop at least one spot due to the lottery.