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Parents in Kids Sports


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Ok here's the deal:

My dad has been coaching me in hockey for nearly 10 years. Last year was my 12th and final season in youth hockey, next I hit high school. My dad recommended 2 of my teammates for an award. Yet how did our goalie, who was never recommened by any of the coaches get goalie of the year? His mom is on the board of directors....hmmmm....I wonder....

But why do parents do this? Suck up and volunteer on the board just for their son to get stuff.

I've always wondered if he put that he got 2003/04 EHA Goalie of the Year on a job resamay. :D

BTW, his stats for the season were thus:

Wins-15 Losses-25 Shutouts: 1 (he had 9 shots thanks to us defense) GAA: 7.56

Just wanted to get this outta my system.

On 4/10/2017 at 3:05 PM, Rollins Man said:

what the hell is ccslc?

 

 

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i know how you feel, i once had a baseball coach bat his son at leadoff the entire season the kid probably got two hits all year, while i was hitting 500. in the eight spot, needless to say our record was 1-15, i hate nepotism

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It's tough as parents to step back and analyze their kids without a parent's eye. I coached baseball with my brother-in-law. His son (my nephew) was on the team. This was back when he was between 9 and 11. As a coach, I saw him as a lazy, out of shape kid. He hardly made contact, never listened to the coaches, and became a disruptive influence on the team. Yet every time I was unhappy with him for his immaturity and attitude, I got yelled at by his dad. I was being to hard on him, he would say. I saw a kid who would be a better player if he would focus on things better. He only saw me as his uncle, not his coach.

When he was 12, he moved up to the major leagues. He was still slow, couldn't throw hard consistently, and could hardly hit a lick. Yet he was moved up, partly because on influence (not mafia-type, but his dad is well-known in the league).

Over the years, he did become a much better athlete. He worked hard, got in shape, became more focused. He's 17, plays varsity for 2 sports. He actually gave up baseball this year for lacrosse. But back then, his father did not do him any good by keeping a blind eye to his abilities. He might have had more fun if he played up to his capabilities.

By the way, my brother-in-law and I were coaches long before my nephew was adopted (at age 8). He still coaches now, with no kids on any team. I gave up coaching to focus my energy and time into officiating.

Back-to-Back Fatal Forty Champion 2015 & 2016

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Parents suck... I remember when I was 13 I was umping an 9 year old little game and I was the plate ump. I arrive at the field and the parent who was the coach was wearing a full custom team uniform, cleats, pants, and uniform and the the teams wern't like the Yankees and Brave they were like the wildcats and the just got a t-shirt. He had a jersey custom made for him. Remember the is recreation everyone plays little league for 9 year old. So the game goes along and this guy is giving me S*** (I'm 13 at the time and this is my first year umpiring). Both teams coaches started yelling at each other and the other team pointed out that the coach couldn't wear a uniform under Little League rules, the most he can wear of the team is a cap. So the guy finally took off his custom made jersey. (he had a plop underneath. The game is pretty much a blow out as we approach the end of the game.

I should mention that the town had a curfew for he game that says no inning should start past a certain time depending on the date. This was like in may so I belive it was 8 pm. At the umpire orientation we were told that even if it was a minute before the curfew when an inning ended that the next inning should be played. So as we get to about the bottom of the 5th inning (it was also the kids first year of kid pitch little league so there were alot of walks and long innings) it's a few minutes before the curfew when the top 5th inning and I told the coaches that since the top of the 5th was played and the 5th was not the last inning the bottom of the inning had to be played (The home-team was winning big and they were going to bat and that was the team with the uniform coach). Well, the visiting coaches didn't like that and wanted to end the game, the home coach didn't agree to that. So they started shouting at each other and then went out to each other when then at that time me a 13 year old had to seperate these 2 adults. The bottom of the league got played.

The funny thing was that the coaches, especially the home team uniform coach, were taking the game seriously when half the kids aren't even paying attention to the game. There was one kid in the outfoield sitting down with his glove on his head and another playing with the infield dirt. I understod the visitng team's coaches position becuase there's was stop complaining it's for the kids and let's not rub in your win. I guess my whole point was that there are some parents that take it way to seriously.

BTW, FYI: The coach with the uniform had several complaints and was not alowd to coach the next year.

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I do not mind a little favouritism being displayed by coaches. They are giving up some of their time to coach their child's team and if they want to do a little more for their child that is fair enough. Where I do have a problem is when it comes at the expense of other parents children, or they single out other children but not their own, etc. The one thing I will not tolerate is parents who go their childs' games and start yelling or get a little too emotional and are anything but supportive.

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Well my dad coached me in hockey, and lemme tell you, I got the most pressure and was probably yelled at the most for simple mistakes. But my dad was doing what he should of done. Caring about the team....not the player. I was captain one year, but he told me I deserved it, which I feel I did. This past year, both assistant coaches wanted me to be a captain (teams usually pick 3 'C's no 'A's, but I turned it down because I got plop from parents of kids that didn't get it and I didn't want that happening again.

On 4/10/2017 at 3:05 PM, Rollins Man said:

what the hell is ccslc?

 

 

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I'm kind of lucky, I guess. My parents are both very supportive when I play hockey. Sure, they'll tell me if they saw something I did wrong, but any parent should want the best for their child. One of my best friends has an older brother that plays also and they're both nationally ranked, and their dad is really tough on them sometimes. Maybe he just expects more because they have so much natural talent.

Both of our coaches have sons on the team, and while they do show a little favoritism sometimes, they know that their kids aren't the best on the team and don't like to pretend that they are. I was named captain this season and the coaches' two sons were named alternates.

 

 

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I play in Half Hollow Hills Little League (goes until your 15, i think; Shmee might know this league), and the board member's family members and friends are treated as royalty, and the rest of the league is treated almost like crap. My friend's dad spoke out against the board once, because of rules that "didn't make the game any fun". (No leading, no stealing, etc.). He was never allowed back to coach in the league. Recently, my sister tried out for the softball summer league for the HHHLL along with some of her friends. There were two teams, an A team and a B team. It was told to everyone that the teams would be split evenly, and no one team would have better players (the A team coaches were all family members or friends of board members). It turns out the team was stacked with the better players, plus a few board members kids who weren't as good as the rest. Everyone got mad, and it became a rivalry, with threats and everything (I even got in the fun, calling the board "full of crap") while watching a game with board members next to me.

This isn't it though. I am an umpire in that league too, and I've umpired a few board member's teams. Now, why they are managers, I don't know. But he goes up to me and the field umpire and tells us "I am a board member of this league, and if you screw up, you won't umpire in the league again".

Now not all of the board members are like this. There is one that I know of that doesn't pull this crap, but the rest use their position towards their advantage. Doesn't make it fun at all.

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Yeah, all the little neighbor kids I babysit for are in the HHHLL.

Plus, I was in the marching band that had to play in the parade on opening day this year. Just one of the reasons I will not be taking band next year. :rolleyes:

 

 

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i have found that the best coaches are ones who played at a high level because they understand that little league is not supposed to be serious. The only team i ever won a championship, my coach was a former minor league catcher who also played for ohio state, he batted everyone in the right spot, got every kid equal playing time and put us in the right spot, it was the most fun i have ever had. The next season i had a different coach who never got above the little league baseball level and he was a jackass, argued calls every game, put his son at short where he sucked, batted him leadoff where he sucked, it wasnt fun at all.

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High school coaches are good. But sometimes they do have kids or friends on the team. This past year was my freshman year for high school hockey, and my brother is friends with the coaches son, (Who graduated in '02) Well I made it all the way to final cuts (the only freshman) and let's put it this way. I got tons of crap. I was accussed of only making it due to "knowing" the coach, and I actually don't know him. We just have ties.

I ended up as the 5th defensemen, 1st in JV, but I turned it down to return to my bantam team. I would of gotten 00:00 ice time. The coach did see my brother and told him that if I had a harder shot, I would've beaten the junior that was ahead of me.

But high school coaches are the best, cuz they can barely be knocked down by parents.

On 4/10/2017 at 3:05 PM, Rollins Man said:

what the hell is ccslc?

 

 

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At the High Rep level I play (hockey), the coaches dont have sons, so it doesnt really matter.

Did you ever play NASC Selects from Oshawa? There were two teams, but my brother was on one of them.

ANYWAYS,

My dad coached me in all types of sports throughout most of my youth. I remember one particular event that wouldn't have happened if i wasn't his kid.

I was in a ringette tournament, playing Newmarket Storm, thunder or some god damn mother nature team name, and the girl from Newmarket cross checked me from behind. I had no idea what happened, I was about 9, and I remember looking at my dad for support on what happened. My dad screamed from across the ice to "Go get that b%%%h back!!!". Obviously obeying orders, I did, started a fight, and almost got kicked out of a tournament. My dad got kicked out of that game, as did i. I think everyone learnt a lesson that day, don't EVER mess with the coach's daughter <_<

I find parents that have sports in their background, especially sports that lasted a while or even went up in high levels like select or provincial, get really emotional about it. It's always about the winning and the goals. Reliving what they lived through. Experiencing what they did, etc. Their aggressive behaviour shows, and the coach's children are the ones that feel the steam on the way home :cursing:

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I ended up as the 5th defensemen, 1st in JV, but I turned it down to return to my bantam team. I would of gotten 00:00 ice time. The coach did see my brother and told him that if I had a harder shot, I would've beaten the junior that was ahead of me.

What? harder shot? That's horrible excuse. I am an assisant coach on my old high school jv team and harder the shot was never ever considered when making an team.

Skating is huge....Speed and knowing how to play defense are the factors we and most coaches use.

Most D at the point should be taking an snap or wrist shot. Quick to get off and usually will hit the net.

I can say this - that playing JV will help you adapt to high school hockey as it is much different than travel hockey.

I don't know if this is an rule in your state but you can't cut an senior for freshmen. That could be another reason.

Now on to your goaltender....7.56 GAA? Is this ice or roller?

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I ended up as the 5th defensemen, 1st in JV, but I turned it down to return to my bantam team. I would of gotten 00:00 ice time. The coach did see my brother and told him that if I had a harder shot, I would've beaten the junior that was ahead of me.

What? harder shot? That's horrible excuse. I am an assisant coach on my old high school jv team and harder the shot was never ever considered when making an team.

Skating is huge....Speed and knowing how to play defense are the factors we and most coaches use.

Most D at the point should be taking an snap or wrist shot. Quick to get off and usually will hit the net.

I can say this - that playing JV will help you adapt to high school hockey as it is much different than travel hockey.

I don't know if this is an rule in your state but you can't cut an senior for freshmen. That could be another reason.

Now on to your goaltender....7.56 GAA? Is this ice or roller?

Well I'm a defensemen, so a hard shot is almost required, especially in the offensive zone and on the pentaly kill.

Oh and BTW, it's ICE hockey for my goalie that won goalie of the year. But hey! When ur parents are on the board, you get everything....

On 4/10/2017 at 3:05 PM, Rollins Man said:

what the hell is ccslc?

 

 

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At the High Rep level I play (hockey), the coaches dont have sons, so it doesnt really matter.

Did you ever play NASC Selects from Oshawa? There were two teams, but my brother was on one of them.

ANYWAYS,

My dad coached me in all types of sports throughout most of my youth. I remember one particular event that wouldn't have happened if i wasn't his kid.

I was in a ringette tournament, playing Newmarket Storm, thunder or some god damn mother nature team name, and the girl from Newmarket cross checked me from behind. I had no idea what happened, I was about 9, and I remember looking at my dad for support on what happened. My dad screamed from across the ice to "Go get that b%%%h back!!!". Obviously obeying orders, I did, started a fight, and almost got kicked out of a tournament. My dad got kicked out of that game, as did i. I think everyone learnt a lesson that day, don't EVER mess with the coach's daughter <_<

I find parents that have sports in their background, especially sports that lasted a while or even went up in high levels like select or provincial, get really emotional about it. It's always about the winning and the goals. Reliving what they lived through. Experiencing what they did, etc. Their aggressive behaviour shows, and the coach's children are the ones that feel the steam on the way home :cursing:

Never played an Oshawa team before.

 

 

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I find parents that have sports in their background, especially sports that lasted a while or even went up in high levels like select or provincial, get really emotional about it. It's always about the winning and the goals. Reliving what they lived through. Experiencing what they did, etc. Their aggressive behaviour shows, and the coach's children are the ones that feel the steam on the way home  :cursing:

i have always found the exact opposite, my hockey coach for the past two seasons was a first round draft pick for the canucks in the 80's (never made the nhl however) you may have heard of him, Darcy Cahill, well anyways whenever there was a dispute he was always very calm and let the other coach scream his head off. I think that they have been at higher levels so they understand that these youth leagues and jv hockey games in columbus ohio are not very important and they have a real good ability to put it all in perspective, while a coach who never played at a level higher than the level at which his kids are playing can get just as emotional if not more involved in the game than the kids playing it.

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I am an umpire in that league too, and I've umpired a few board member's teams. Now, why they are managers, I don't know. But he goes up to me and the field umpire and tells us "I am a board member of this league, and if you screw up, you won't umpire in the league again".

I umpire baseball games. I have umpired baseball for over 10 years. No matter how hard it is, do not let a Little League coach be intimidating or threatening like that. There's always someone above his or her head to go to. If that person is the president of the league, find out the location of your Little League District HQ (assuming this is Little League and not Cal Ripken or other youth leagues).

I don't know how old you are. If you are younger, it's tough when you only get games locally. Try to become friends with other umpires, preferrably older ones who have worked in your league or are familiar with it. Find out if there is a local umpires' organization that canvasses your area providing umpires for many leagues and towns. My organization has a "Big Brother" mentoring program helping younger umpires get used to working many games with more experienced partners.

One of the hardest things to find in Little League are umpires to work the games. Many towns work by volunteers. While that's very commendable, it doesn't always produce the best umpires. Leagues should be fortunate to have people willing to have better umpires, ones who work hard to learn all the rules and want to enjoy the games as they work them.

In my area (northern Massachusetts) there are numerous youth baseball leagues going on at the same time. There are always games around. If you find yourself "blacklisted" from your town because you did your job correctly, shop around for other nearby leagues. I'll bet if you go as far as your district HQ and let them know what happened in your town, they won't think twice to find other towns that would like your services.

Remember: ejections can be your friend. As stressful as they can be at that moment, you can save yourself a lot of potential grief and keep a game from getting too far out of your control with a simple flick of the wrist, and a pointed finger towards the parking lot.

Back-to-Back Fatal Forty Champion 2015 & 2016

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Parents suck...

Yes, but it's the minority that gives the group the "perverbial" black eye.

Doesn't matter what sport, many parents treat 'youth sports' as either is

a win only situation (or their kid should get the best treatment) or the parent(s)

live the game through their kids performance.

Having coached many years, I have had more positive experiences than negative, however the negative ones sure put a damper on things.

Let's just say, that most youth teams should have a one/two strike policy for coaches & parents; first incident (being a jerk) warning and asked to leave, 2nd incident; removed permenantly from league - kid can still attend but that parent can watch the game from Shri Lanka.

Of course Nepotism is always a problem. Rule: parents on the board should not be allowed to vote. Parents are blind when it comes to their kids, so yes "parents suck". Sorry Moms & Dads, you all need to shut up or go away - far away. :therock:

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