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NFL Offseason Thread


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I don't know who this guy is either, but people are jerking off on local radio about this post:

 

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"The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed."

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12 minutes ago, GDAWG said:

 

Get cutting Todd he was on a really big contract and has an arthritic knee probably only a year or 2 left at a productive level. I feel better going with a combo of Henderson and Brown over 2 more years of trying to game manage Gurley. 

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Kershaw is GOD! Kershaw is LIFE! Kershaw is ALL!

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A friend of mine from back home is a huge Bills fan. We were talking about the Brady to Tampa move and his reaction was "thank G-d he's out of my division."

So allow me to present a vision of things to come.

 

Super Bowl LV

Brady started off the season strong but he's been showing real wear and tear near the end, and the Bucs have had to scrape their way through the playoffs on the strength of their defence. That's what's keeping them in the game, with Brady doing just enough to not screw up. Otherwise the Bills would have blown the doors off a long time ago.

It's tied, near the end of regulation, and the Bills are kicking to win. It's wide right because what else would it be? The missed kick leaves one second on the clock for the Bucs. Brady hurls a prayer up and Mike Evans comes down with it for the TD as time expires. Tom Brady, despite playing like a 43 year old and only having one impressive pass, is named unanimous MVP. Jesus Christ himself descends from heaven and reverts Tom's biological age to 20 so he can continue his reign as our lord and master for another two decades. The Buffalo Bills are officially contracted the next day.

 

Goofy? Yes, but I'm bored out of my mind.

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My vision involves Brady sustaining a big hit, then falling to the ground. His teammates and the medical staff crowd around him. He says:

 

"It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for."

 

A mysterious all-white being descends upon him, merging with Brady. Through a series of crossfades his appearance changes.

 

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He has regenerated! He's now got an odd desire to kick the s--t out of his youngest, most annoying companion, joking about how said companion will eventually die and make everybody happier.

 

Obscure? Yes. Worth it? Hell yes.

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9 hours ago, BringBackTheVet said:

 

So then if this was March 2018 I'd be happy.  Not sure if I should be now, considering it's 2020.

 

You're right in feeling this way. Now, I love Darius Slay, but he definitely took a step back last year. I'm glad the Lions weren't going to pay him what he was asking. However, he clearly lacked motivation last season. His interview today clearly demonstrates that he just didn't like Patricia (and deservedly so, if everything Slay says is true. And based on what every departing Lion says, I feel like it is.). A new home could do some good, but it's still probably too much money to throw at a guy who's likely declining.

 

That said, Slay has to be an upgrade for the Eagles secondary, no? I feel like the secondary's something my friends are constantly complaining about. Besides, you know, everything else :D

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7 minutes ago, Shumway said:

That said, Slay has to be an upgrade for the Eagles secondary, no? I feel like the secondary's something my friends are constantly complaining about. Besides, you know, everything else :D

 

You, me, and Ice Cap would be an upgrade over 3 of their 4 starters from 2019... and they just got rid of the other one.  

 

4 hours ago, Gothamite said:


I’m old enough to recognize the Minister, but obviously too old to get the rest of the post.  What does “vulture” mean?

 

I don't think it means anything other than he's posting a bird-of-prey, and then a minute later posted Reggie White.  I legitimately have no idea who he is or how to say his name, but apparently he posted the bird first, which lead people to believe maybe he wanted to go to the Eagles, Falcons, or Seahawks, and then when he posted Reggie White, it narrowed it down to the Eagles.  Or maybe he just hates gay people - not sure.

"The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed."

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