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Rhode Island State Rogues - Fictional College


NDFreek

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Hi all, it's been a while since I've posted a concept on the boards. Recently, I have begun a project to make a complete fictionalized version of CFB. One of the potential teams that was brought up to me was the Rhode Island State Rogues. I settled on a pirate theme using the old Buccaneers scheme. I made my first version of the logo, and really would love some C&C how to improve upon it. Right now, the mouth is bothering me a lot. I played around with using the state of rhode island in the negative space, but it even looks more jarring. Closing the mouth completely has brought me trouble as well, I can't get it to look right at all. Any ideas where I could take this?

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I think right now, the proportions are off between the jaw and the jaw opening. I don’t know if the answer is to add more to the jaw, or to take from the opening. I would also suggest making the eye patch larger, as right now it looks like it wouldn’t realistically cover the eye socket as is.

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Skulls can be tough! I think the issue you're running into is trying to add too many human/fleshy elements to a skull that isn't meant really meant to show emotion like that. The brow and teeth treatment would work on a normal face, but not a skull. You can look at the Bucs as an example of how the teeth could be treated - lose the red stroke that encompasses all of the mouth and let the white of the teeth run right into the white of the upper and lower jaws. The first iteration was closer in that regard - I also would add back in the small overlapping accents like in the cheekbone you had in the original sketch. I think separating the mandible (under the eyepatch) will help skullify it a bit as well, as now it looks a little too smooth and connected, like Jim Carey's Mask. For the eye, I'd make it a bit bigger and lose the brow - again look to the Bucs as an example of a furrowed brow that still looks like bone. The hat is much improved in your second version, it could stand to get a touch bigger as well.

 

Keep it up and great start!

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erikas | go birds | dribbble 

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