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Brian in Boston

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In the spirit of the new American Basketball Association, I'm launching the CHA... Continental Hockey Association. So far, I've granted franchises to...

Anaheim, Anchorage, Boston, Brampton, Brandon, Buffalo, Calgary, Charleston, Charlottetown, Chicago, Clearwater, Denver, Detroit, Drummondville, Edmonton, El Paso, Fredericton, Halifax, Hamilton, Hartford, Honolulu, Hull, Kingston, Kitchener, Laval, Lethbridge, London, Medicine Hat, Minneapolis, Mississauga, Moncton, Monterrey, Montreal, New Bedford, New Jersey, New York, North York, Oshawa, Ottawa, Passaic, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Quebec City, Red Deer, Regina, Sacramento, Saint John, San Bernardino, Saskatoon, Sault Ste. Marie, Seattle, St. John's, St. Louis, St. Paul, Thunder Bay, Toronto, Vancouver, Victoria, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, Windsor, Winnipeg and Yellowknife.

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In the spirit of the new American Basketball Association, I'm launching the CHA... Continental Hockey Association. So far, I've granted franchises to...

Anaheim, Anchorage, Boston, Brampton, Brandon, Buffalo, Calgary, Charleston, Charlottetown, Chicago, Clearwater, Denver, Detroit, Drummondville, Edmonton, El Paso, Fredericton, Halifax, Hamilton, Hartford, Honolulu, Hull, Kingston, Kitchener, Laval, Lethbridge, London, Medicine Hat, Minneapolis, Mississauga, Moncton, Monterrey, Montreal, New Bedford, New Jersey, New York, North York, Oshawa, Ottawa, Passaic, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Quebec City, Red Deer, Regina, Sacramento, Saint John, San Bernardino, Saskatoon, Sault Ste. Marie, Seattle, St. John's, St. Louis, St. Paul, Thunder Bay, Toronto, Vancouver, Victoria, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, Windsor, Winnipeg and Yellowknife.

Only if the Seattle team plays at Qwest Field.

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The River Crest Gardens Tenants' Association (Eighth and Tenth Floors) of Winnipeg's Osborne Village hereby applies for a franchise.

The team name shall be the Osborne Village Tigers Hockey Club of Winnipeg, and will base its logo on this:

peep.jpg

Team colors will be ochre, peuce, magenta, chalk, grey, sepia, and Brilliams! white.

Names and numbers of the players will be rendered in Heiroglyphs, because according to our research, Egyptian mythology is really high among males, 12-15.

Ooop. More research shows that kids really like dinosaurs, too, so we'll be working that in somewhere too.

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I hereby apply for a franchise for Ypsilanti, Michigan. I've never been there, but I know I can make it work!

They need another geographical rival. I'd like to apply for an expansion team in Lansing, Michigan. The team will play on the partially-frozen Grand River until I can get a rink set up in my back yard.

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Names and numbers of the players will be rendered in Heiroglyphs, because according to our research, Egyptian mythology is really high among males, 12-15.

Ooop. More research shows that kids really like dinosaurs, too, so we'll be working that in somewhere too.

As Commissioner/Chief Snake Oil Salesman of the CHA, might I suggest the Osborne Village PharaohSaurus Tigerzzz? The CHA's internal market research division (which consists of me drinking heavily and watching Cartoon Network) feels that this identity would resonate with fans across all ethnic groups and age brackets.

We don't know why... we just do.

We'd also like to suggest the following marketing slogan -

Osborne Village PharaohSaurus Tigerzzz Hockey: Walk Like an Egyptian... Run Like a Dinosaur... Pounce Like A Tiger(zzz)!!!

We here at CHA internal marketing research are fairly certain that the clip-art exists to make this identity package really come alive. Best of luck!

What was your PIN number again?

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I hereby apply for a franchise for Ypsilanti, Michigan. I've never been there, but I know I can make it work!

Ypsilanti ... that's a funny city name. And, in that spirit, I believe franchises should be granted to Kalamazoo, Walla Walla, Rancho Cucamonga, Keokuk, and Seattle.

I'd also like to put in a bid for the construction contract of the POONTank in Newark.

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