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Bears Sign new QB...


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CHICAGO- When the bears great white hope Rex Grossman's ankle exploded, many bears fans let out a collective scream. Chad Hutchensen was proved to be ineffective in his first preseason game, Kyle Orton isn't quite ready, and we're pretending Jeff Blake never happened.

But today at Halas Hall, the bears announced the signing of a new QB that will take over the starting roll immediatly. That man is Mike Ditka. Ditka was feared as a player, a coach and as a man. Leading the bears to an incredible 219 straight victories in the 80s, Mike Ditka decided to leave on his own terms, and walk off into the sunset. Now Chicago is calling its son back, to save the city.

Many experts now have picked the Bears as super bowl champs, easily dismissing such teams at the "Two Time Champions" New England Patriots. CAn you even say that you are a champion with a straight face when Ditka isn't involved? In fact, Ditka will not only play QB, but he will also call his own plays, kick the field goals, play running back, sign Cedric Benson, and anhcor an already stellar defense in a new position called MONSTERback, where his primary goal is to destroy everyone.

Coach Lovie Smith has already predicted the outcome of the season opener. "Even if Ditka was 7" tall, I'd still say: Bears 93- Redskins 3."

The superfans were unavailible for comment.

Information from The Associated Press was used in the Article.

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Three-time champ Patriots.

Come on, you guys in the Loo can't pretend 2001 never happened forever! :mad:

Yes we can! :P

But seriously, don't blame that on PCGD. It may have been his mistake or someone elses mistake if he read this elsewhere, but he's a Bears fan not a Rams fan, so he doesn't hold that same grudge.

And it's Lou, not Loo thankyou very much. :P (again)

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The superfans were unavailible for comment.


Da question is: Did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?


Bill: Okay, gentlemen, another scenario: Da Bears, they don't make it, the plane is delayed.. and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka vs. Da Giants. Okay, score, gentlemen.

Pat: Alright, after da heart attack, I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.

Bill: Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.


Alright. Ditka vs. God in a golf match. Now, he's a good golfer.

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Was this supposed to be funny?


Its more a dream than a joke.

Ditka is god.

BTW...I messed up. I am a Bears fan so I don't share whatever grudge you are talking about. But really, how can you call yourselves a champion if Ditka isn't involved? Its tainted if you ask me.

And I'm a bears fan and a Cardinals/Blues fan for a good reason. I grew up half way between chicago and st. louis near Champaign. There was no St. Louis rams and I was too young for St. Louis Football Cardinals. So I rooted for the Bears and I didn't want to switch alliences when the rams moved.

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