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Advertisement for my English Class


TurnTwo

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Recently, for my college credit English class, our group was asked to come up with a revolutionary new product.

I said I would handle the poster. Here's what I came up with:

vidyo-fone.gif

C&C please. Even if it's something as trivial as a grammatical error.

Thanks, guys!

"I must be butter, because I'm on a roll."

Turn Two Design // Facebook

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I like the entire concept of the project, but the faces of the people dont really look right. They dont look happy, or at least the emo kid doesnt. And if it were my project I would probly put somthing between the two people showing that they are connected like put two arrows signifying that they are conversating with each other or a an actual vidyo fone between them to signify and personify the connection (if in fact the captions are implying that they are talking about each other). Which kind of brings up another point, If they are together I dont really see the need to have both of them say somthing about the phone, because its kind of confusing and it makes the scope of what you are going for ( the scope of trying to convey people conversing from all over the country) seem really small.

I hope this is what you were looking for, otherwise I feel like an ass for typing as much as I did.

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If "vidyo fone" is how the proper noun is spelled (no caps) then it needs to be consistent throughout the piece. So the second sentence should have the f of fone in lowercase. The v stays capitalized since it is the start of the sentence. Also, then, the bottom sentence, "connecting family and...." should have a lowercase v. And, as pointed out above, the two uses of the term are inconsistent with regards to capitalization in the speaker's quotes.

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One mroe thing you might consider is doing the poster in traditional Verizon colors (black, white and red) to make it more consistant with other verizon designs. I don't think that changing the colors will make or brake the design, but I think it will give it another look.

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A. I don't know that the face illustrations are the best choice here. I would take actual headshots and cut them out in photoshop. I think it would be more comical and personal, which is obviously the intention of the ad. It would take the talent variable out of the ad since you won't have to use hand-rendered faces. Talent could potentially make or break the design when you're trying to achieve that kind of realism with a computer-rendered image. You could also try to simplify the illustrated faces to two colors. Right now they are just too inconsistent and too complex, in my opinion.

B. There doesn't seem to be much organization to the layout. For one, you have two headlines. It says vidyo fone at the top and at the bottom in equal sizes. Equal size means equal importance, and it really kills a potential focal point. Your ad is pretty text-heavy, and the info jumps around a lot. Centered, down to the left, across the page to the right, then, oh theres a little picture of it and the price, and back to the left again, and finally, to the bottom, where there's some fine print regarding the pseudo conversation I read near the top of the page.

C. Some solutions. I would eliminate the top vidyo fone text and make the headline Revolutionizing communication. I might try stacking the words and aligning them left since you have everything else aligned left. You want to keep a common alignment for the most part. I don't know that you even need the price on the ad, either. I rarely see cellular ads with prices on them. At the bottom, I would just leave vidyo fone there and move the picture of it down to the right side of it.

D. You probably could have done a better job on your arrows.

E. You might want to consider splitting your ad somewhere and having part of it on a white background and part on a green background to separate it. Maybe you want to make the USA silhouette, the headline, and the paragraph green on a white background, then have a green block at the bottom housing the vidyo fone text and everything underneath. You could then have the photo of the vidyo fone sitting on the same baseline as the vidyo fone text and it would extend above the top of the green block, giving your ad some depth and tension. It would also create a nice focal point since white lettering on a dark background is often more noticeable than dark on white, and what better focal point than the product name?

I still don't have a website, but I have a dribbble now! http://dribbble.com/andyharry

[The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the position, strategy or opinions of adidas and/or its brands.]

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