Dallas Stars Concept

[Korbyn]

My very first concept!

Thoughts?

[BB61]

Where to start...

- Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

- Those crests need outlines, and there is way too much empty space around them.

- "DS"? Maybe. But do it in another font.

- The sleeve numbers need thicker outlines.

- And you forgot the names.

Go from there.

[VitaminD]

I don't disagree with anything BB61 posted, but I am not going to rehash it. So above and beyond what's been commented on, my first impression of this was 1) very bland, and 2) mismatched.

First, the blandness. Understated and uncluttered is one thing; a single star, unadorned and all by itself, is another. It's vague to the point of being generic. Any junior league could use this as an All-Star sweater for a community center game. This isn't something an NHL team would wear, even if this were executed more professionally (which will come with time... as it is your first concept, I can expect your skills to improve with practice). Essentially, this is a white sweater with gold sleeves and a gold star for the white sweater, and an all-green sweater with a gold star for the other. It's just lacking in any kind of flair.

Now the mismatchedness. The white sweater is gold-dominant: what isn't white is gold, save for thin green piping and a player number. But the dark sweater is almost entirely green, save for gold piping, a gold star, and a number. Which is your choice for a dominant color: green or gold? Changing from one dominant color to the other ruins continuity. Since you've already made these sweaters far too generic, you're going to need some consistency.

Some suggestions:

1. player names. Obvious, but necessary.

2. Spruce up the single gold star. Outline it in green and/or white. Give it some motion, a vapor trail, something. The Star isn't the Winged Wheel or the Spoked B or the Canadiens' CH. It can't do this on its own.

3. Liven up the player numbers. Single-twill works for some teams, but here it's contributing to the lifelessness of the whole look. The Red Wings can do single-twill because the red/white combination is visually dramatic, the Winged Wheel is iconic, it conveys motion, and it's got decades of history and success behind it. The Star has none of that.

4. Add back some black. Heck, the breezers are black, but there isn't a single shred of black anywhere else. Why is that?

5. Why is the collar silver/black, when nothing on the rest of the concept is silver, and only the breezers are black?

Don't give up on this, but it needs some Courtney Love/Robert Downey Jr.-level rehab.

[gueman]

Take your time. Don't rush! I know you get all excited when you make something to show off. But stop. And look at it as if it was some one else's work. What C&C would you give it?

I agree with the above. Not much to add other than really make the star and DS unique. This isn't the Cowboys.

BUT...don't give up. And LISTEN to what people on here say...not like some who will remain nameless.

[Korbyn]

Ok, thanks guys!!

The updated version will come on when I feel its ready!

C&C is appreciated!

[OnWis97]

I think that the shortcomings have been addressed.

I will say this, though. The color scheme on the green one is great. I would not want to see too much black or white added when you polish it. It seems like a good start--unique.

[Turkleton]

Im a Stars fan myself and as it is, I wouldnt have this jersey if it was free. BUT....Im quite new here myself and my first concepts werent upto scratch. U only realise this after you've posted a few and you get the kinda C&C that helps you improve. There are some talented people on here and after a few posts, you'll start to bang out some sweet lookin ideas

I agree with all of the above comments. Cant actually remember if this has been said but the collars are grey and black when the jerseys are green and gold....Doesnt match at all!!

[elliott]

Sorry, I dont like this at all. First, its very sloppy. Second, the star doesnt function well as a primary logo, especially with no outline or text. Third, there is way too much gold in the away. Fourth, why is there black pants when there is no black in the jersey.

Try this: in the white jersey, put in white for the green stripes and make the base color green. That probably would look great as a dark. Do this along with outlining the numbers/logos. Start over on the white jersey.

[Old School Fool]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Turkleton]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Im not sure Old School Fool likes it....

[Alphabet Man]

You need an original design. The colours need to be a bit more Stars-like (lighter gold, black, darker green). The DS logo needs to be a bit more worked on, D and S in Times New Roman won't do the trick. IF you're going to use fonts, experiment with them. The logo on the front needs to be outlines, possibly use with their wordmark which I assume is on their current shirts.

[swilson160]

The gold and white one looks like someone had a bad BM on the shoulders.

It's obvious you're going for simplicity here, and simplicity is good. But you need to either pick one color to be the primary color or balance the two colors better so they both stand out on each jersey.

The logo needs more detail--right now it is way too simple.

[I Am A Flaming Douche Bag]

It is very very sloppy. Way too much gold and the logo is bad man. The shoulder logo is too generic.