chickenfish13 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Hey guys. I'm waiting for c and c in my CHL redesign, but I have been working on this for a couple weeks now, and wanted some feedback. It is for a yellow jacket, and a baseball team, but it has no name right now. It's an update to a logo I did a looooong time ago, and I'd like to know what I can do to make it better. Thanks for the help, and c and c as always.I feel the shadowing and highlights is definitely off, so that would be a focus point. Thanks. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bohob Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would move the highlights to the face, so the body has a color progression/rendering is more consistent with the wings. I like the hexagon, but the angle of the bee is causing an optical illusion where it looks tilted. I don't necessarily care for the swoosh of the ball. You could try putting seems on the hexagon. Also, the antennas, legs and eyes could be rendered better. I like the idea, it just needs some tweaking. NHL 2016 by Bowen Hobbs * BOHOB's MLB Redesign Project * MiLB Re-Brands * NCAA Football Concepts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Thanks. What do you mean by move the highlights to the face? Technically, the face already has a highlight on it. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bohob Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 No it doesn't. The white is on the back of the head, while the face is yellow with a black eye. NHL 2016 by Bowen Hobbs * BOHOB's MLB Redesign Project * MiLB Re-Brands * NCAA Football Concepts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Oh, OK, I see what you are saying. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 OK, here's an update. I had trouble changing up the highlights, so I did something completely different. I'm really not sure if it's better or worse, but I guess I'll find out. C and C please.And, it's changed into a hockey logo, so no more stitching. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bohob Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It still has the same issue as before: inconsistent shading. The left side of the thorax has a white highlight while the yellow shadow of the wings is also on the left side. The thick black areas on the body read as shadows, and they should be on the left, like the yellow on the wings. It's not going to look much better without fixing this issue. NHL 2016 by Bowen Hobbs * BOHOB's MLB Redesign Project * MiLB Re-Brands * NCAA Football Concepts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 So, if I were to get rid of all the shading in it now, then put it back in, where should the shading go? dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bohob Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It still has the same issue as before: inconsistent shading. The left side of the thorax has a white highlight while the yellow shadow of the wings is also on the left side. The thick black areas on the body read as shadows, and they should be on the left, like the yellow on the wings. It's not going to look much better without fixing this issue.See above. NHL 2016 by Bowen Hobbs * BOHOB's MLB Redesign Project * MiLB Re-Brands * NCAA Football Concepts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Oh, wow, don't know how I missed that. Thanks for giving me constructive criticism as well, as your the only one who has, and your sticking to it. Updates up later. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliott Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 The problem with this is that it looks like you are rendering what you think a yellow jacket should look like, and not what they actually look like. Strong logos combine a little bit of the abstract and simplification with correct proportions and dimensions. Look.For yours,-wings look completely wrong-middle section looks too bulbous-head and antennae are off-your legs are really weakNow, I appreciate creative liberties and some abstract work, but this looks like something drawn by an elementary schooler and it just needs to refined a great deal. It's too static and childish looking, for lack of a better word.I agree with bohob that the shadows hold this back as well. But I think that brings up a good point, most of your concepts have some type of bevel or shadow, and you don't need it half the time. Sometimes shadows and highlights look good when you go back and add them, but for your concepts, it's like you come up with a logo base, don't really refine it, and then just add highlights for good measure, to possibly make it look better. What you need to do is work on getting the shape and dimensions down first, get the basic drafts done, then go back and add detail, if necessary. One thing I like about this concept is the attempt at a honeycomb motif in the background, I think if you straightened it out, deleted the (very crooked) highlight, and made it smaller it would be a much better backdrop. But you could definitely use a honeycomb in secondary logos. If I know you, you will put the comments to good use, keep working at it. Dribbble ... Behance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Thanks Elliott, that'll help. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 OK, so here's an update. To me, it looks way better, but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. I left out any shadowing for now, until I get a better idea of what to do. I pretty much started from scratch, all I kept was the bottom of his body. C and C please. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NolesFSU Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Just make the face meaner you know like this guy and your golden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodger Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 You took off all the shadows and highlights now, do what bohob said. This one is too plain. thanks to crkraider22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaha32 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 whaty is that shape in the background. i dont think it works here. it looks very off. the yellow jacket also looks like he is scared and vulnerable. why is he looking over his shoulder? it looks very 'clipart'like right now to me. DesignsByHahn.com Behance Dribbble Instragram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 The shape is a honeycomb, wasn't sure about it, but wanted to try it. And he's not looking over his shoulder, he's looking straight. If you see something else, could you maybe explain how, so I can try and fix it? dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 OK, here's an update with a bit of shadowing.C&C dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaha32 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 The shape is a honeycomb, wasn't sure about it, but wanted to try it. And he's not looking over his shoulder, he's looking straight. If you see something else, could you maybe explain how, so I can try and fix it?i was looking at one of your older versioms when i mentioned the looking over the shoulder thing. the black part of the eye looked like the pupil looking down and backwards but maybe the yellow part whas a highlight and not the 'white' part of the eye if that makes any sense. now i get the honey comb shape in the back. i never realized in the NO Hornets H logo that it was the honey comb shape either. i guess i dont know where you can go from here without making huge changes and i know that is really vague feedback DesignsByHahn.com Behance Dribbble Instragram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenfish13 Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 No problem on the eye thing, I guess it's just how you saw it. And yeah, I actually got the honeycomb idea from other logos, and wanted to see if it would work. dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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