Stefan B Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hey guys,This is my first concept that I've posted, and would really love some C&C!My father recently called me and said a High School near our hometown was looking for a design for their Boys Basketball team for some t-shirts. I one upped it and told him to tell them I'd completely redesign a logo for themI'm having the most trouble with the back wing/tail feathers (insert "shake your tail feather" joke here)What does everyone think?Also wanted to see what people though of this layout as compared to the other oneThanks guys, really looking forward to feedback!Stefan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rentz Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Wow, that's excellent man!I feel that on the full logo the wings look a little too flat as they don't have the dynamic shading the head has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coast2CoastAM2006 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hey guys,This is my first concept that I've posted, and would really love some C&C!My father recently called me and said a High School near our hometown was looking for a design for their Boys Basketball team for some t-shirts. I one upped it and told him to tell them I'd completely redesign a logo for themI'm having the most trouble with the back wing/tail feathers (insert "shake your tail feather" joke here)What does everyone think?Also wanted to see what people though of this layout as compared to the other oneThanks guys, really looking forward to feedback!Stefanoh. my. god. do you know what you just did? you upgraded the toronto blue jays logo. well played sir. Spoilers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan B Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 oh. my. god. do you know what you just did? you upgraded the toronto blue jays logo. well played sir. Killing two birds, er, blue jays, with one stone?!Nole I really like the idea of using the sharp lines for the feathers in the wings. I'm going to have to try that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undead Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 This is wonderful. That's a pretty mean looking bird! The wordmark could be improved a little. Maybe incorporate shapes similar to the white shapes on the head. Layout number 2 is outstanding. Welcome aboard. Portfoliobobschultz6' class="bbc_url">@bobschultz6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikePho3niX Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Maybe separate the wing from the body. and i think the Wing in the front is very thin and the one in the back needs more feathers till you to get to the body. but that's just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayJaxon Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 That bird looks pissed, and I like it! Have the body match that sweet looking head and you have a winner in my book. Â Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hathaway Browne Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Excellent work. I prefer the full bodied bird to the floating head, but they're still both outstanding works. Love the two shades of blue also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan B Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Thanks everyone! You've all given me just the ideas to spark some inspiration and do a revision. Hopefully I'll post the re-do soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan B Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 UPDATE #1Moved the wing back and removed the accent line to make it look like it was behind the birdTurned the type back to forward. Felt it was too distracting at the angle it was at with the way the illustration is set up. Plus the school would be more likely to want it dead on too.Since I already used 2 bad puns in this, might as well use another:I kind of "winged it" ( ) and added the same style feathers to the back wing and tail feather. Looks much better than the solid blue, but still not quite what I'm looking for. Definitely going to keep working on it since I'm such a perfectionist with certain things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikePho3niX Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 It's a nice upgrade. i like what you have done. Keep going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFB Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Head is really well designed, though your beak seems a little small, but the body seems like it was an after thought. I wish you would have taken the same amount time to render the body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaha32 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 i really like this. my only thing would be to move the white outline around the wordmark to the back on the secondary, so it is behind the word rather than in front. that way they wordmark the bluejay wont look like 2 separate logos just placed together and will be more unified. other than that this school is going to have a nice nice logo. DesignsByHahn.com Behance Dribbble Instragram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasatch Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Stefan B great Blue Jays concept! One thing that stood out the most for me was rather than placing a watermark over your artwork, you used a mesh cutout; that awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnygriswold Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I really like the primary logo. Not sold on the secondary just yet.As for the layout, I like the top version, but get rid of the air holes. PuckDrawn.com - Hockey designMy sports logo portfolioSportDrawn.com - All Sports designPuckDrawn on Twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasatch Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I really like the primary logo. Not sold on the secondary just yet.As for the layout, I like the top version, but get rid of the air holes.Don?t you think in a way, it?s a great way to watermark your art though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enotsdesign Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 i love the mesh treatment, regardless if it acts as a watermark. it really has a athletic look. tha primary logo is very well done. i don't like the full bird look, the set is complete with just the head.thanks for sharing. facebook | behance | deviant art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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