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the admiral

GNOME DIGGITY

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You laughed when the NHL tried to get in on comic books with the Guardian Project. Now, the NHL is going really cutting-edge with team-themed garden gnomes!

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/10-creepiest-nhl-officially-licensed-gnomes-photos-132317089--nhl.html

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Want to buy a gnome but you're just like "ah, what's the use, my dog will just take a crap on its head"? As you can see here, the Minnesota Wild gnome cuts out the middle man! Or rather the middle dog, as the case may be! This garden gnome will remind you of what it feels like to get Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, only for your season to be cancelled because you got Zach Parise and Ryan Suter.

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I don't know why you'd go scuba diving with sharks, or how you'd do any sort of quality scuba diving in San Jose, which isn't even on the ocean. I guess what I'm really trying to say to this stupid little white-haired man is hey, Greg Jamison, get back to work.

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He wants fishsticks. Incidentally, if you ever do a google image search for "islanders fishsticks," you will get 50% pictures of the '96 Isles sweater, and 50% pictures of actual fishsticks. It's really quite remarkable.

The best, though, is clearly the Coyotes gnome that was hastily repurposed into a Bruins gnome. Bahahahahaha.

I hope they see this through to completion and design concept gnomes for the rest of the league. I'm sure once they figure out how to make the gnomes self-immolate, they'll have Vancouver's up for sale. I'm really mad they didn't make one for Anaheim yet, robbing me of the golden opportunity to point to a little guy with a white beard and say "that's actually just a picture of Scott Niedermayer."

Will you buy an NHL gnome?<br class="Apple-interchange-newline">

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p12898645p275w.jpg

This fella looks like he's ready to go fishing in the rough seas. In Texas.

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Is that Daffy Duck's dismembered head? He does not look amused.

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Where's the gnome sitting at a negotiating table?

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StLouisGnome.jpg

Hooray. Our gnome is a blind homeless man who thinks he's a lounge singer with a penchant for hard rock.

*throws quarters at it*

"Stop it! The damn guitar isn't even plugged in!"

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No Maple Leafs gnome drowning in a pool of tears and disappointment?

The disappointment stopped resulting in tears ten years ago. Now it just manifests as a growing numbness....

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599290_407652935949263_1837374179_n.jpg

Wow.

Pretty accurate.

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ff_617876_xl.jpg

Meh... could have been a LOT worse judging from some of those other teams.

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599290_407652935949263_1837374179_n.jpg

Wow.

Pretty accurate.

So all Flyers fans are missing a tooth and eating multiple cheesesteaks? Interesting.

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599290_407652935949263_1837374179_n.jpg

Wow.

Pretty accurate.

So all Flyers fans are missing a tooth and eating multiple cheesesteaks? Interesting.

The missing tooth and black eyes aren't for the fans, it's for the team. Aren't the Flyers historically known for playing tough and gritty? C'mon son.

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These are up there with Craven in Team Rocket and Melissa's browneye as the creepiest things posted on these boards.

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599290_407652935949263_1837374179_n.jpg

Wow.

Pretty accurate.

So all Flyers fans are missing a tooth and eating multiple cheesesteaks? Interesting.

The missing tooth and black eyes aren't for the fans, it's for the team. Aren't the Flyers historically known for playing tough and gritty? C'mon son.

That, and Philly's one of the fattest cities in the country.

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ff_617876_xl.jpg

Meh... could have been a LOT worse judging from some of those other teams.

Current colors would be nice though.

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Winnipeg doesn't get a gnome because it's too :censored:ing cold to grow anything.

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"If we're going to make mascot-gnomes, by god they will be politically correct gnomes."

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The University of Texas' Equipment staff (@UTexasEquipment) has a Texas Gnome they take to each game, and snap pictures of in various places:

At Ole Miss:

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