The Mantry, I declare you to be the worst

[The_Admiral]

Corny branding aside, what's so bad about a couple of guys supporting and promoting American artisans who are doing things to try and keep this country the way it was when it was founded?

Also, are you not supposed to leave your drinks by the guy on the right because he's hispanic and has shiny hair? If so, that is hilarious.

Has anything been criticized on this board in the past year that you haven't half-heartedly defended? Is your first sentence self-parody?

What's so bad about it, like I said, is that most of this stuff is the kind of stuff you buy at your local farmers' market and then never get around to finishing because it's too much of a novelty item to consume a lot of in a relatively small window (I tried my best, jar of caramel apple butter, I really did), but unlike your farmers' market, comes with an absurd markup. Most of it is probably from that Crate Handmade In Brooklyn™, a borough long renowned for its excellence in the field of crate construction. It's like that Dollar Shave Club thing that was big for a while, trafficking in Simple Rugged Manliness Branding until someone pulled back the curtain and showed that you can buy their razors in bulk from South Korea at a fraction of the price. Between farmers' markets, ethnic grocery stores, health food stores, and specialty shops, people in most of the country can procure all sorts of delicious and unconventional things, and they don't need to pay for Brooklyn crates or pseudo-Terry Richardson photo shoots. Everything doesn't have to be a lifestyle.

Also, I don't believe either person pictured to be Hispanic based on their surnames and appearance, whereas I do believe both of them to be generally creepy-looking, so hecho in blow me

[The_Admiral]

p.s.: I kind of envisioned this thread dovetailing into a thoughtful discussion and analysis of the burgeoning and pernicious Men's Rights movement and the troubling but heretofore unnamed subculture of "back-to-basics" lifestyle broadcasting, mostly revolving around Christian girls in the midwest who blog about consuming upmarket things with their dutiful husbands and making babies who will in turn be made to consume upmarket things, which superficially seem unrelated but are not without some sturdy and disturbing common threads, but we could also just rip on me for being mean to small businessmen, that works too

[Mings]

I'm pretty sure the whole don't leave your drinks around that guy thing has more to do with his date rape face than the fact that he is Hispanic.

[pcgd]

I'm pretty sure the whole don't leave your drinks around that guy thing has more to do with his date rape face than the fact that he is Hispanic.

The beard/scarf/sunglasses/g-star trenchcoat combo is more what made me think "date-rapey" than anything

[Sodboy13]

Between this and the New York Times double whammy of "My baby is too pure for diapers, so I trained her to poop in bowls at home, and pee between cars in the street" and "I've been exiled in Chicago for 13 years, this place is an unspeakable hell akin to Detroit with a thin veneer of self-importance", it's been a bang-up few days of New York re-asserting its astounding insufferability.

:censored:ing Hipsters. I wanted to run over one driving home from work tonight.

In your neighborhood, it's damn near impossible not to.

[JPDesign]

p.s.: I kind of envisioned this thread dovetailing into a thoughtful discussion and analysis...

You killed that vibe when you said, "hecho in blow me."

[Mings]

Between this and the New York Times double whammy of "My baby is too pure for diapers, so I trained her to poop in bowls at home, and pee between cars in the street" and "I've been exiled in Chicago for 13 years, this place is an unspeakable hell akin to Detroit with a thin veneer of self-importance", it's been a bang-up few days of New York re-asserting its astounding insufferability.

:censored:ing Hipsters. I wanted to run over one driving home from work tonight.

In your neighborhood, it's damn near impossible not to.

I read both of those articles today. That lady needs to get the hell out of our city.

[andrewharrington]

Corny branding aside, what's so bad about a couple of guys supporting and promoting American artisans who are doing things to try and keep this country the way it was when it was founded?

Also, are you not supposed to leave your drinks by the guy on the right because he's hispanic and has shiny hair? If so, that is hilarious.

Has anything been criticized on this board in the past year that you haven't half-heartedly defended? Is your first sentence self-parody?

What's so bad about it, like I said, is that most of this stuff is the kind of stuff you buy at your local farmers' market and then never get around to finishing because it's too much of a novelty item to consume a lot of in a relatively small window (I tried my best, jar of caramel apple butter, I really did), but unlike your farmers' market, comes with an absurd markup. Most of it is probably from that Crate Handmade In Brooklyn™, a borough long renowned for its excellence in the field of crate construction. It's like that Dollar Shave Club thing that was big for a while, trafficking in Simple Rugged Manliness Branding until someone pulled back the curtain and showed that you can buy their razors in bulk from South Korea at a fraction of the price. Between farmers' markets, ethnic grocery stores, health food stores, and specialty shops, people in most of the country can procure all sorts of delicious and unconventional things, and they don't need to pay for Brooklyn crates or pseudo-Terry Richardson photo shoots. Everything doesn't have to be a lifestyle.

Also, I don't believe either person pictured to be Hispanic based on their surnames and appearance, whereas I do believe both of them to be generally creepy-looking, so hecho in blow me

I do half-heartedly defend lots of things. No one else is going to do it. I don't need to or want to be the person who hates on everything over the internet just because I can. I've grown up and learned the value of looking at things from both sides, or at least the value of not wasting too much of my time hating everything.

But, whatever. Again, aside from the branding, which is certainly corny and overdone at this point, I don't see what's so offensive about this. Some people are into trying weird stuff. Some just want to feel important, so they sign up to receive things in the mail every month. Some just can't figure out what to do with that extra $75. Some just want to impress their friends. Some dont have a market near them, or maybe their market doesn't sell strange items like these. I'm sure some people just want the crates, to be honest.

Just because the brand and the target is douchebaggy doesn't mean the products, the people who make them or the people who buy them automatically fit into that mold.

[dbadefense1990]

Just because the brand and the target is douchebaggy, doesn't mean the products, the people who make them, or the people who buy them automatically fit into that mold.

[The_Admiral]

Chipotle has aspirational lame-o tendencies but isn't offensively obnoxious like Axe, come on. I like Chipotle sometimes.

But, whatever. Again, aside from the branding, which is certainly corny and overdone at this point, I don't see what's so offensive about this. Some people are into trying weird stuff. Some just want to feel important, so they sign up to receive things in the mail every month. Some just can't figure out what to do with that extra $75. Some just want to impress their friends. Some dont have a market near them, or maybe their market doesn't sell strange items like these. I'm sure some people just want the crates, to be honest.

People who have $75 on hand that they "don't know what to do with" and use it to conspicuously consume artisan birch syrup and crates every month are thoroughly worthy of some playful derision on some corner of some corner of the internet. I'm glad they have you as their champion, though, I mean otherwise this just wouldn't be a fair fight.

[Mings]

Guess I'm a douchebag since I went to Chipotle for lunch yesterday.

[The_Admiral]

I mean as long as you properly contextualize it as food and not part of your Personal Lifestyle Brand, it's not a big deal. Same with Starbucks and Panera.

[Sodboy13]

Exactly. Chipotle is just well-done Americanized Mexican food, just as Starbucks is well-done augmented espresso drinks. Nothing more.

A pizza puff fresh out of the fryer from Mr. Submarine, though, that's some you can dedicate a tumblr to.

[slapshot]

I mean as long as you properly contextualize it as food and not part of your Personal Lifestyle Brand, it's not a big deal. Same with Starbucks and Panera.

Panera has some pretty good sammiches.

Plus, they're the only place I've ever seen cream of chicken & wild rice soup. At least, until Progresso started putting it in cans.

[andrewharrington]

Chipotle has aspirational lame-o tendencies but isn't offensively obnoxious like Axe, come on. I like Chipotle sometimes.

But, whatever. Again, aside from the branding, which is certainly corny and overdone at this point, I don't see what's so offensive about this. Some people are into trying weird stuff. Some just want to feel important, so they sign up to receive things in the mail every month. Some just can't figure out what to do with that extra $75. Some just want to impress their friends. Some dont have a market near them, or maybe their market doesn't sell strange items like these. I'm sure some people just want the crates, to be honest.

People who have $75 on hand that they "don't know what to do with" and use it to conspicuously consume artisan birch syrup and crates every month are thoroughly worthy of some playful derision on some corner of some corner of the internet. I'm glad they have you as their champion, though, I mean otherwise this just wouldn't be a fair fight.

I wouldn't call myself a champion, but I do respect them for at least throwing away their money into businesses that will keep it in the American economy instead of at places like Wal-Mart.

[DG_ThenNowForever]

Everything in Seattle is a Mantry. Plus all of the restaurants leave the doors open, so you always sit in the cold when you have your pho or $7.50 biscuit sandwich. I hate it.

I've paid $20 for the below item, but only once. What does that say about me?

[Gfonk04]

I mean as long as you properly contextualize it as food and not part of your Personal Lifestyle Brand, it's not a big deal. Same with Starbucks and Panera.

My kids' love for Panera mac and cheese and my wife's infatuation with their broccoli cheddar soup demand you retract that last statement immediately.

I wouldn't call myself a champion, but I do respect them for at least throwing away their money into businesses that will keep it in the American economy instead of at places like Wal-Mart.

While I don't shop at Wal-Mart if I can avoid it because it's a terrifying experience, I wouldn't say that they keep money out of the American economy. Sure a lot of their products, manufacturers, and distributors are overseas companies, but in the end that money helps grow the American economy and employ American workers too. Just because it's a big business doesn't mean it doesn't help out the average Joe. They have their drawbacks, for sure, but so do mom & pops (e.g. lack of inventory, higher prices, single site purchasing, etc.).

[The_Admiral]

I mean as long as you properly contextualize it as food and not part of your Personal Lifestyle Brand, it's not a big deal. Same with Starbucks and Panera.

My kids' love for Panera mac and cheese and my wife's infatuation with their broccoli cheddar soup demand you retract that last statement immediately.

What? No it doesn't. You just reinforced the first sentence: that the food is good. I like their food too, but I don't frame a visit to Panera as deigning to engage in ethically conscious sandwich-eating or anything of that sort. But this isn't so much about any of that suburban bohemian-bourgeois stuff, which was well-worn ground thanks to Stuff White People Like. I'm more concerned with this glorification of a bygone "artisan" era, which purports to celebrate a sort of populism and simplicity that we've somehow lost along the way, but to engage in this populism and simplicity is far more prohibitively expensive and demographically exclusionary than making one's own food from scratch ever was, and that's icky, don't you think?

np: The Lumineers - "Ho Hey"

[Gfonk04]

I mean as long as you properly contextualize it as food and not part of your Personal Lifestyle Brand, it's not a big deal. Same with Starbucks and Panera.

My kids' love for Panera mac and cheese and my wife's infatuation with their broccoli cheddar soup demand you retract that last statement immediately.

What? No it doesn't. You just reinforced the first sentence: that the food is good. I like their food too, but I don't frame a visit to Panera as deigning to engage in ethically conscious sandwich-eating or anything of that sort. But this isn't so much about any of that suburban bohemian-bourgeois stuff, which was well-worn ground thanks to Stuff White People Like. I'm more concerned with this glorification of a bygone "artisan" era, which purports to celebrate a sort of populism and simplicity that we've somehow lost along the way, but to engage in this populism and simplicity is far more prohibitively expensive and demographically exclusionary than making one's own food from scratch ever was, and that's icky, don't you think?

np: The Lumineers - "Ho Hey"

Just joking around, dude.

Panera™ only defines my life in that I would eat there more often if I had unlimited free money. And also, I really think Panera™ evokes a simpler time when the neighborhood baker would rise with the dawn, mill flour grown by local farmers, bake freshly made dough to crisp golden brown in wood-fired ovens built with bricks made by the local brick maker. He would cheerfully wave to Mme Gauthier as she watered her garden, and cheekily wink at Mlle Quincompoix, who would turn away, cheeks red with delighted embarrassment Old Captain Muriel would amble by, a veteran from the War, and he would say: "It looks like rain today, old friend." And we would all nod gravely at his wisdom. The local "gavroches" would run to him, the scent of the hearth-baked baugettes filling their hearts, asking if he had any treats to spare. And he would. Oh the croissants! The pains-chocolate! The pastries and bagels and cookies he would make! He was the jewel of our little town, a local man, with a heart of gold.

It was a simpler time, a friendlier time, a Panera Time™. That's what Panera Bread® means to me.

That's what it means to all of us.

Also, their asiago cheese bagels™ are pretty good.

[The_Admiral]

Panera™ only defines my life in that I would eat there more often if I had unlimited free money. And also, I really think Panera™ evokes a simpler time when the neighborhood baker would rise with the dawn, mill flour grown by local farmers, bake freshly made dough to crisp golden brown in wood-fired ovens built with bricks made by the local brick maker. He would cheerfully wave to Mme Gauthier as she watered her garden, and cheekily wink at Mlle Quincompoix, who would turn away, cheeks red with delighted embarrassment Old Captain Muriel would amble by, a veteran from the War, and he would say: "It looks like rain today, old friend." And we would all nod gravely at his wisdom. The local "gavroches" would run to him, the scent of the hearth-baked baugettes filling their hearts, asking if he had any treats to spare. And he would. Oh the croissants! The pains-chocolate! The pastries and bagels and cookies he would make! He was the jewel of our little town, a local man, with a heart of gold.

Stop listening to the Decemberists.