B-Rich

ESPN writer suggests Clippers change name

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Hansen's problem was that he tried to steal a team from a community that had done exactly what the NBA had asked of it, namely make a deal for a new publicly-funded arena. You know, the thing Seattle singularly failed to do during the Sonics fiasco.

I know you know Bennett's arena proposal in Renton was not done in good faith.

Schultz wanted an arena too.

Well, the timing wasn't right for him. Seattle rebuilt the arena in 1994 both to the NBA's liking and to specifications that were reasonable for a single-sport arena in a medium-sized market. Just like New Comiskey Park barely missed the neo-retro explosion, Seattle barely missed the explosion of super-sized luxury arenas. At that time, you only had the United Center and the Palace of Auburn Hills, one built for a metro area at least twice the size of Seattle, both built entirely on the owners' respective dimes. That every mid-market from Denver to Charlotte to Memphis to goddamn Oklahoma City who didn't even have a team would eventually get a 19,000-seater with two rings of luxury boxes and blowjobs at the door for everyone making six figures...well, that wasn't something they could have seen at the time. Something needed to be done when it was done, it was enough at the time, suddenly it wasn't, but that wasn't an excuse for giving up after eleven years.

We can praise Seattle for taking a stand, but let's not then treat them as victims. They and their leaders knew the probable consequences of that stand. Remember, standing up to tyranny, while it may be right and noble, is also liable to get you a rifle butt in the face.

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Here's how it should work:

New Orleans takes "Jazz" from Utah (really, have you ever heard of Salt Lake City being famous for jazz?)

Utah takes "Grizzlies" name from Memphis (there's no grizzly bears in the city of Memphis)

Memphis takes "Kings" name from Sacramento (Elvis)

Sacramento takes "Knicks" name from New York (only have to change a few letters on each jersey)

New York takes "Nets" name from Brooklyn (paying homage to the old ABA franchise the New York Nets)

Brooklyn takes "Pelicans" name from New Orleans (hipsters love pelicans)

And that, my friends, is how the Clippers wind up with a new nickname.

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^ I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THIS.

mind_blown.gif

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Here's how it should work:

New Orleans takes "Jazz" from Utah (really, have you ever heard of Salt Lake City being famous for jazz?)

Utah takes "Grizzlies" name from Memphis (there's no grizzly bears in the city of Memphis)

Memphis takes "Kings" name from Sacramento (Elvis)

Sacramento takes "Knicks" name from New York (only have to change a few letters on each jersey)

New York takes "Nets" name from Brooklyn (paying homage to the old ABA franchise the New York Nets)

Brooklyn takes "Pelicans" name from New Orleans (hipsters love pelicans)

And that, my friends, is how the Clippers wind up with a new nickname.

A flawless plan if I ever read one.

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Here's how it should work:

New Orleans takes "Jazz" from Utah (really, have you ever heard of Salt Lake City being famous for jazz?)

.

Never. It's a crime against sports humanity that the state of Utah be able to associate itself with the word jazz and its associated music. Those that know what's right will fight until the rightful name is returned to it's rightful owner: New Orleans.

UTAH BOBCATS BASKETBALL EST. 2020

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As annoying and convoluted as these plans to swap everyone's name are, the Utah Jazz's name sticks out as the single most nonsensical pairing of location and nickname in all of pro sports. It's worse than Tennessee Oilers, and even that only stuck around for two years. I'd still want Utah to choose a new name even if New Orleans remained the Pelicans.

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To quote the wizened philosopher David Byrne, "my God, what have I done?"

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To quote the wizened philosopher David Byrne, "my God, what have I done?"

The flaw in the plan is that Lakers don't end up in Minnesota.

I think it should go...

New Orleans becomes the Jazz

Utah becomes the Timberwolves

Minnesota becomes the Lakers

Lakers become the Clippers

Clippers become the Pelicans

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To quote the wizened philosopher David Byrne, "my God, what have I done?"

The flaw in the plan is that Lakers don't end up in Minnesota.

I think it should go...

New Orleans becomes the Jazz

Utah becomes the Timberwolves

Minnesota becomes the Lakers

Lakers become the Clippers

Clippers become the Pelicans

The flaw is that some people aren't getting that he was joking.

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To quote the wizened philosopher David Byrne, "my God, what have I done?"

The flaw in the plan is that Lakers don't end up in Minnesota.

I think it should go...

New Orleans becomes the Jazz

Utah becomes the Timberwolves

Minnesota becomes the Lakers

Lakers become the Clippers

Clippers become the Pelicans

Based on their performance this year and Kobe's age, the Lakers are well on their way to becoming the Clippers!

I'll show myself out.

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To quote the wizened philosopher David Byrne, "my God, what have I done?"

The flaw in the plan is that Lakers don't end up in Minnesota.

I think it should go...

New Orleans becomes the Jazz

Utah becomes the Timberwolves

Minnesota becomes the Lakers

Lakers become the Clippers

Clippers become the Pelicans

The flaw is that some people aren't getting that he was joking.

The flaw is that you think that some people are actually being serious....

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With all the name changing, we are going to need a pretty big eraser to re-write the entire record books.

We complained about New Orleans and Charlotte, imagine this.

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Here's how it should work:

New Orleans takes "Jazz" from Utah (really, have you ever heard of Salt Lake City being famous for jazz?)

Utah takes "Grizzlies" name from Memphis (there's no grizzly bears in the city of Memphis)

Memphis takes "Kings" name from Sacramento (Elvis)

Sacramento takes "Knicks" name from New York (only have to change a few letters on each jersey)

New York takes "Nets" name from Brooklyn (paying homage to the old ABA franchise the New York Nets)

Brooklyn takes "Pelicans" name from New Orleans (hipsters love pelicans)

And that, my friends, is how the Clippers wind up with a new nickname.

6 pages before a first mention of the Utah Jazz has got to be a new record for a thread on this board with a topic even tangentially related to the rebranding of an NBA team. Usually that's something you'd see on the first or second page...

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As annoying and convoluted as these plans to swap everyone's name are, the Utah Jazz's name sticks out as the single most nonsensical pairing of location and nickname in all of pro sports. It's worse than Tennessee Oilers, and even that only stuck around for two years. I'd still want Utah to choose a new name even if New Orleans remained the Pelicans.

What I've always found funny is that New Orleans' NFL team has a perfect name for a Utah-based sports team: the Saints. Y'know, because of Mormons. The Salt Lake Saints always sounded like a cool name to me. :P

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As annoying and convoluted as these plans to swap everyone's name are, the Utah Jazz's name sticks out as the single most nonsensical pairing of location and nickname in all of pro sports. It's worse than Tennessee Oilers, and even that only stuck around for two years. I'd still want Utah to choose a new name even if New Orleans remained the Pelicans.

What I've always found funny is that New Orleans' NFL team has a perfect name for a Utah-based sports team: the Saints. Y'know, because of Mormons. The Salt Lake Saints always sounded like a cool name to me. :P

Drooling over the thought of a team named the Salt Lake City Saints.

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why can't the Clippers fans be Clippers fans with out the stigma of 'contrarian' or 'bandwagoneer'?

Give this man a damn cookie! Thank you good sir. That stuff is just irritating. Back on topic, the only thing(s) the Clippers need to change is the copycat logo and the boring colors. The Clippers should have a nautical theme along with the light blue and orange colors. Period.

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I think with a new owner it's time for the LA Clippers to move past this era of racial insensitivity with a new identity. An identity that shows the new inclusive type of atmosphere we all come to expect from the NBA. A name that respects, nay honors, those most affected by this whole ordeal. Might I propose: The Los Angeles Blackskins.

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