Coolisiana

Maybe Beethoven started out completely terrible but just would not listen to anyone who told him he couldn't do it

McDonald's breakfast: Oh hell yea gonna be productive today McDonald's at 2am: Lol living the life McDonald's lunch: I need psychiatric help

Ok ya the sentiments are being felt now

On this episode of Life in the Toilet, I am browsing various recipes being completed by YouTubers. They make it look so easy! Please kill me

Or increase exponentially whichever one means got worse

RT @AnOrangeSNES: FRIEND WHO JUST GOT BIT BY A VERY VENOMOUS SPIDER: Hurry, the antidote! ME: This reminds me of a time FRIEND: No, not a…

RT @buttnight: Cute guy: hi, do u have a lighter I can use? Me: [sweating] uh.. No but watch this *lights cigarette with the heat radiating…

RT @buttnight: my type? well you see, I prefer guys that are bald. cold to the touch even. also 6 ft in the ground. skeletons. skeletons ar…

RT @EndhooS: Me: [Eating pizza for breakfast] Gym nerd: [pouring 8 flourescent powders into a gym bottle] I dunno how u can put that :censored:…

RT @halloweenbears: Him: I'm a free lancer. Her: what kind of stuff do you write? Him (trying to hide medieval weapons and armor): uhhhh sp…

RT @iamspacegirl: ? I wish I was a little koala I wish I was smaller I wish I had a tree with good food, I would crawl there ?

RT @iamspacegirl: *tapping on your bedroom window* HELLO I NOTICED THAT YOU KEPT TWEETING AFTER YOU SAID GOODNIGHT TO ME

RT @living_marble: Home Alone is a fairly transparent retelling of Alien from the xenomorph's perspective. A xenomorph I will henceforth re…

RT @novixv: GROSS! A mouth breather! He breathes with his mouth. He looks at stuff with his eyes. He's an ear hearer! A nose smeller I bet!…

RT @ProdigyNelson: He was a skater boy She said see you later boy https://t.co/ENqplrQ1A4

RT @punmagnate: Worm CEO cuts workforce in half, doubles productivity

RT @ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u dr…

RT @themiltron: [god creating jellyfish] how bout an evil bag

RT @WritePlay: "What an awesome body-" Oh... thanks. I work out- "- of research." - formulas. I work out formulas. *sips tea* I do a lot…

RT @bobvulfov: ANNOUNCER: mike trout always crushes the baseballTROUT: *whispering to a ball* u have never made ur wife climax u weak lose…

RT @buttgh0st: [at club]DO YOU WANT TO DO A HUMAN SACRIFICE"WHAT?"[does stabbing and offering motion]A SACRIFICE, DO YOU WANT TO DO ONE

RT @chris_granger: Riverboat in #NewOrleans appears to be flying through clouds on a foggy day! @MargaretOrr #weather http://t.co/GYy1dkffwo

RT @internetluke: Me (on phone to boss): sorry I can't come in to work today on acc-Boss: ...on account of we fired you 2 months ago. Quit…

RT @jazmasta: DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?ME: Can't say I doDOC: That's one of the…

RT @jonnysun: if u watch a birthday partey backwards, a bunch of peopel cheer as sombody regurgitates a cake and sets it on fire