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Posts
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Status Updates posted by Coolisiana
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Ok so apparently using the word "placenta" more than 10 times on a date at your girlfriend's parents' house is detrimental
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RT @Coolisiana: Some less popular phrases invented by the guy who coined "head over heels in love" • Skin-colored with envy • A penny saved…
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RT @jawbroken: November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the…
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Linda the Spider just keeps spinning webs across my door. It's probably a coincidence that she spells out Goodbye every night, but maybe not
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*I pull the chair out from behind my grandpa but he falls down and dies* Ha ha. Why aren't any of you laughing. He was 90 anyway
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So basically I'm just going to cycle out the rest of these drafts as seen below (there are ~twenty) and then deactivate. Deal?
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@SarahCubed By liking it you're encouraging that I do it though. Stop appropriating grandma culture
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HER: I had a really great time tonight ME: *thinking about how I reserved the word "great" for when I see dingos in person* Ok
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RT @Coolisiana: (Former dentist committing his first murder) Any last words? *shoves gun in victim's mouth before he can get a word out*
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PSA: Wheelchairs do not make good bathtubs. Thank you for your consideration however. Is that a steak knife
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My eyelids are heavy, but my brain is alert, focused, CAPTIVATED by the bag of croutons in my kitchen
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(2037) *invents a car that literally projects entire widescreen movies onto the windshield* *zero people object whatsoever*