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Posts
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Last visited
Status Updates posted by Coolisiana
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RT @buttgh0st: [at club]DO YOU WANT TO DO A HUMAN SACRIFICE"WHAT?"[does stabbing and offering motion]A SACRIFICE, DO YOU WANT TO DO ONE
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RT @omically: what if humans were on Mars first and :censored:ed up so bad the planet died and all space exploration is just subconsciously tryin…
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(Grocery store)Thanks *checks cashier's name tag* Gretel!*she parkours over counter & grabs my collar*"How the hell do you know my name"
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RT @kingofcreame: bartender "ok i just need to see an ID"Charmander *nervously hands over fake* http://t.co/CQHPz2n3NP
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RT @noog: My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he…
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RT @lionprincessval: Cool Tip for how to get out of a conversation: pretend to be on the phone https://t.co/r58XGRr8gX
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RT @jonnysun: if u watch a birthday partey backwards, a bunch of peopel cheer as sombody regurgitates a cake and sets it on fire
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"You clean up Good"-My Russian boss instructing me to clean his oddly-named battleship, USS Good
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RT @chris_granger: Riverboat in #NewOrleans appears to be flying through clouds on a foggy day! @MargaretOrr #weather http://t.co/GYy1dkffwo
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RT @internetluke: Me (on phone to boss): sorry I can't come in to work today on acc-Boss: ...on account of we fired you 2 months ago. Quit…