Noolish

Goddamn you Bernice! #dodgeball

GODDAMNIT WHERE IS JAY-Z?!?? #Superbowl

Ha BOOM GOES THE DY-NO-MITE @LynetteClaire RT@basketballtalk: Bulls watch as Nuggets run right past them to easy win http://t.co/Yp2WM3qv

Had a slurpee in 37 degree weather. Colorado man card regained. #achievementunlocked

Happy to see Knowshon playing well. Thought he could contribute since week 1.

Hard to believe USC was #1 at the beginning of the season. Lane Kiffin is still getting karmic payback. #NCAA

Hate Alabama but I love those jerseys. Never change those uni's. #SECChampionship #unisnob

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh no, the light's out?!? I'm scared! #himym

I feel like Barney Stinson/NPH would use Valentine's Day as the chance to go to the bar and pick up all of the sad single women. #vday

I hate Alabama but the feature on Barrett Jones is great. Center, violinist, 4.0 GPA, and Scrabble enthusiast. Plus his mom is hot. #BCS

I think my parents got my dog a black collar so it would look slimming. #fatty

I wish my dog lived in FL with me. We'd go for walks every day and I'd change his name to "Broby". He'd be my Broby Wan Kenobi. #brover

I'm gettin' too old for this stuff. #mambatweets

I've got a weakness for SPF70 blondes. #noolproblems #whitegirls

If Dunkin Donuts made me fat, I'd just accept being fat and continue to eat there.

If I could text people in the shower without damaging my iPhone, I would. Looks like I'm just not going to shower. #firstworldpain

If Oregon can only put 14 on Stanford at home, how would they fare against Bama or ND? Not well, I'm guessing.

Jeff Green's dunk last night. #nasty

Just saw Tony Dungy waiting in line at the airport. Why do I always see retired coaches at the airport?

Kill me now. #noolproblems

Kobe MVP chants at the Staples Center #LOL #LOLakers #mambatweets

Last 2 DEN teams have been very reliable: '11 kept it close, always within striking distance. '12, plays hard, shows up, does little things.

Literally 3 kids screaming at once. I hate traveling. #firstworldpain

Love getting that huge package I forgot was coming. #thatswhatshesaid

Love how everyone on #NBAonTNT is surprised that JaVale didn't make Shaqtin' a Fool this week.