Tampa Bay Rays Wordmark Help

[TopCat]

Hello.

I'm trying to push myself a little harder with concepts by starting everything on paper rather than starting straight on the computer. As you will see I need a lot of help refining my sketches into something that looks presentable. I was in the process of creating a Rays concept when it came time for a script. And man did I have trouble coming up with something, just ask raysox. I started out with more of a free flowing script, then it transformed slowly into what you see below. If you looks carefully you will see elements from the gradient era, green and black era, and current era scripts. Problem is, I want this to actually look like something an MLB team would use, because right now I feel that it looks ridiculously cheesy. I just need some feedback from you guys so I can improve this and continue on with my concept. I threw in two color schemes just because. Thanks for any help.

[cjzilligen]

The second one doesn't look half bad, I kinda like it. I sure can see the eras you've mixed in, and it definately works here. The only thing I'm having a problem with right now it that the script looks kinda wimpy, the wordmark either needs to have it's strokes thickened or have the whole thing more condensed.

[TopCat]

Thank you for the input, how's this?

I do think it's starting to look better.

[cjzilligen]

Looking better, maybe you could italicize it a bit more? It kinda lost it's shape during the transformation. I definately prefer the bottom one.

[justie]

To me there both good but i think the second one is better

[TopCat]

Thanks for the suggestions, I've tweaked it more and I'm pleased enough to put together a full concept so everyone can get a full picture of the direction I'm trying to go with the Rays.