The_Admiral

Those are NBC Sports/NESN markets, they wouldn't be served.

Playing an entire season in the downsized Nassau Coliseum probably won't work, but considering the Islanders get the ass end of scheduling at Barclays behind the Nets and concerts, maybe they should split between arenas (the players already practice and for the most part live in Nassau) and use the Coliseum to get more desirable scheduling they can't get at Barclays. Play the Flyers and Penguins on Saturday nights in Nassau, play the Blues on a Wednesday night in Brooklyn. Or just be done with Brooklyn forever as soon as possible, that would be fine by me.

 

Me-yow, didn't think Brooklyn was Queens County

Also, because there can be no good news without bad news (see the summer of 2011: the Winnipeg Jets came back but Vancouver set itself on fire, Rick Rypien and Wade Belak killed themselves, and scores of players died in a fiery plane crash...call it a wash), the Coyotes renewed their lease with Glendale for next year.

Yeah, two weeks where he wrote like thirty songs that went "USED TO SELL CRACK IN THE SUBWAY, NOW I OWN THE NETS AT BARCLAYS" and we all nodded our heads and said "yes, this is a musician who articulates the human condition." At least he wasn't ranting that Jews control the real estate yet. And, I mean, the Nets, it's the "awwwww, the Denver Broncos?" Simpsons gag but not played for laughs.

The Barclays Center, in the conversation with the Albatross Vagina PATH station for ugliest new building in New York  never should have been built. They overpromised and underdelivered on adjacent affordable housing, they built it to accommodate an NBA team no one cares about and to inconvenience an NHL team that also no one cares about, but most of all it is a hideous edifice. It's a jellybean made of rust. The Nets could have stayed in Newark or moved in with the Islanders in Nassau County. Never should have been built.

 

I WILL REMEMBER YOU (do-do do do-do do-do)

The Islanders grew up in the suburbs, moved to Brooklyn so they could Really Find Themselves, but realized everything was too expensive, too cramped, and too reliant on crumbling public transit, so they moved back to the suburbs. It's a great day for Long Island hockey! HOWIE ROSE UNRETIRE

Yeah, there's something about not being able to take federal employees to games because it's considered a gift and would lead to corruption. It seems to be an Ottawa-specific problem.

I guess that's why there wasn't any left for ESPN! Folks, let's see some hearts here

Melnyk is such an ass. The arena location is a problem (and he has a point about moving downtown to where people can't accept tickets as gifts), but with the absurd TV deal they have with TSN, I have trouble believing they struggle.

I get all that, and it's not that they would cease to be rivals, just that they'd have to give up a pair of games every couple years. (I wouldn't even be averse to rigging the rotation so that we'd get Flyers-Devils x6 more often than not, same with Blackhawks-North Stars.) I mean, as it stands, no one's playing six with anyone anymore because of this idea that we need every team to play home and away.

Something's afoot in Ottawa, possibly Melnyk selling the team and/or possibly the GM resigning?

2013. These were the first NBA Finals games not to appear on one of the major broadcast networks (though ABC was still a partner w/ ESPN).

I think the games still ran on ABC, but produced by ESPN.

Get a LOAD of BringBackTheVet's favorite quarterback Donovan McNabb telling her to "CUM over for dinner." Jocks don't traffic in subtlety, do they?

Even my wildest fantasies accede to the relative necessity of a presence in South Florida. It's like beating off to anyone you want but choosing the girl who works at the grocery store, or like being a Democrat.

From the Whalers story upthread:

Quote

May 29: Carolina announces ticket prices. According to the Greensboro News and Record, "jaws hit the ground from Greensboro to Raleigh." The tickets range from $20 for a nosebleed seat in the rafters of the Greensboro Coliseum to an "eye-popping" $100 for seats surrounding the ice. The Canes state a goal of 10,000-12,000 season-ticket holders, but do not offer any discount for purchasing season tickets. "We want to get people used to the sticker-shock right away," says general manager Jim Rutherford. "We're not going to discount our product."

 

It's eye-popping now for other reasons. Can I even stand in the 300-level concourse of the United Center and get continuously kicked in the dick for $100?

Jerry Bruckheimer's name was thrown around for the Las Vegas expansion for years. Now he's behind the Seattle expansion. If he really wanted a hockey team, he could have bought the Blues or Predators for a small fraction of the price years ago. But I guess if anyone is going to do something wastefully, it's Jerry Bruckheimer.

No, it's perfectly believable that some teams lose money from year to year but make it all back on the sale. That's why the league maintains a low-interest line of credit for teams to access, and why there's a new revenue sharing provision where Gary Bettman hands blank checks to needy teams. I mean, the Blackhawks losing money, no one believes that for a minute, but the Blues losing money, yeah, I'm sure they find a way to do that, the Blues are always broke for some reason. But if someone buys them in a world where a Raleigh team costs ~$450MM, they'll make it all back and more.

 

Two days ago Forbes released their LIST of NHL franchise values.  8 of the 31 teams operate at a loss.  Only 10 are apparently worth $650M or more (the expansion fee).  I'm no businessman, but something doesn't add up here.

 

We're in the Ponzi scheme phase that preceded the 2004-2005 lockout: terrible business decisions being papered over by expansion fees.

Yeah, I wanted to get Penguins-Islanders in there, but that felt like #3 behind Capitals and Flyers. For the sake of travel costs, guaranteeing the New York metro teams always get three and three seemed like the natural thing to do. The Panthers just break everything, I guess.

Over the last few months I've been working on an NHL omniconcept for a universe better than ours, where the '90s relocations never happen and the league more or less leaves the South alone. 

 

SMYTHE DIVISION

Calgary Flames, Denver Avalanche (1993 expansion), Edmonton Oilers, Los Angeles Kings, San Francisco Sharks (1991 de-merger of the North Stars playing in a new arena next to the Cow Palace, explicit continuation of the Oakland Seals), Phoenix Coyotes (2000 expansion), Seattle Evergreens (1993 expansion), Vancouver Canucks

 

NORRIS DIVISION

Chicago Black Hawks, Dallas Renegades (1993 expansion), Detroit Red Wings, Minnesota North Stars, St. Louis Blues, Toronto Maple Leafs, Winnipeg Jets

 

ADAMS DIVISION

Boston Bruins, Buffalo Sabres, Hamilton Tigers, Hartford Whalers, Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Nordiques

 

PATRICK DIVISION

Florida Panthers (2000 expansion), New Jersey Devils, New York Islanders, New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Tampa Bay Lightning, Washington Capitals

 

The scheduling matrix is pretty much the one the NHL used from 2008-2012, with some nips and tucks. It's an 84-game season, as the league flirted with from 1992-1994. To make up for the two extra games, the preseason is reduced from six to eight games to just four. Additionally, one in every four home preseason games is to be played at a neutral site. The regular season will always start no later than the 1st of October so as to make an informal holiday out of NHL Opening Day.

 

The schedule would break down thus:

64 games within the conference:

- 4 games against each team in the opposite division of the conference, 28 for Smythe and Patrick teams, 32 for Norris and Adams.

- 12 games against sustaining divisional rivals. Each team would have two teams designated for six-game season series every single year. In the case of Chicago, Toronto, and Detroit, all three are each other's two, same with New York, Long Island, and Jersey. Others would interweave: Boston would be locked into six with the Habs and six with the Whalers, but the Whalers would have their set series with the Bruins (Battle of New England) and Nordiques (WHA rivalry). 

- 12 games against rotating divisional rivals: the other division teams rotate between six-game and four-game season series from year to year. So some years, the Hawks would get six with the Stars, other years four. Same with the Flyers and Devils, Bruins and Sabres, Leafs and Jets. The Smythe and Patrick have an extra four-gamer in their rotations.

- 8 (Norris/Adams) or 12 (Smythe/Patrick) games with divisional teams who are out of the six-game rotation.

 

20 games against the opposite conference:

- 5 games against five teams you only play at home

- 5 games against five teams you only play on the road

- 10 games against five teams you play home and away. There's another wrinkle here, which is that of sustaining conference rivals. They're pretty much what you expect: for the Original Six, Chicago, Detroit, and Toronto will always play Boston, New York, and Montreal home and away. For the WHA, Edmonton and Winnipeg will always play Hartford and Quebec home and away. Toronto will always play Hamilton home and away. The prior season's Stanley Cup matchup will be guaranteed a home-and-home (. From there, priority will be given to setting up Canadian and Sun Belt home-and-homes, like Calgary-Montreal or Dallas-Tampa. Toronto's fifth pair would rotate between Ottawa and Buffalo unless they win the Cup against a team that's not Ottawa or Buffalo.

For remaining games, teams should cycle through groups: if an opponent is in the Only @ Campbell group, next year it should be Only @ Wales or Home/Away, and vice versa, so you're getting to each town at least once every two years. A team in the Home/Away group can repeat as such the next year if the participating teams are amenable to it.

 

Would this make more sense as a picture?

 

I think it ends up being rather pretty! Dark gold cells are the sustaining matchups, purple means the Campbell team hosts, green means the Wales team hosts.

 

Here's what the broadcast territories would end up being. I put this together a while back with Census data, media market maps, and a hypomanic phase.

 

 

Closer look at the overlaps in the northeast/midwest:

As you can see, lots of mutual territories (Rangers/Islanders/Devils, Maple Leafs/Tigers, Senators/Canadiens/Nordiques) and overlaps (Pennsylvania, Iowa, the whole West; Winnipeg shares Saskatchewan with the Flames and Oilers and shares Thunder Bay/Kenora/Rainy River with the Leafs and Tigers, how nice, rights to three teams for a total population of like 200,000). I like this non-exclusivity. Give fans options, try to supersaturate the market. Capitals and Penguins fans brawling in the streets of Harrisburg. Also, look how nice and cozy that Adams Division is! Patrick minus the Floridas, too! The Wales can get by with a whole lot of Amtrak and really keep costs down.

 

Here's where I admit it's not a perfect system:
 

- Hey dickweed, you left most of Ohio unserved, and the parts that are served are by the hated Penguins and Red Wings! Yeah, I feel bad about that one, but I had to hit my marks elsewhere and couldn't get to Columbus in 30. If my NHL went to 32, Cleveland/Columbus/Cincinnati would definitely be 31. My preference is actually Cincinnati, I've never been 100% sold on Columbus because of the OSU factor, and Cincinnati seems to be of a kind with Milwaukee (another expansion candidate) and St. Louis. They have nothing but mid-major hoops between the Bengals and Reds.

- Hey dickweed, you left LIKE THE ENTIRE SOUTHEAST unserved! I don't feel bad about that one. They have enough to do. Let the NHL largely be one of those weird northeastern things, like being really into Bruce Springsteen. But maybe there could be an "NHL on Fox Sports South" package where they get a quasi-national slate of featured games from other FSNs, primarily from Dallas, Tampa, and St. Louis (but also Florida, Detroit, Minnesota, L.A., and Phoenix in a pinch). 

- Leafs in the West? Well, it worked before, and if this is going to be a primarily Great Lakes/St. Lawrence/East Coast league, someone's gotta go west. I like Toronto playing 2x2s with VAN/CGY/EDM for TV purposes. I wouldn't have the Leafs or Wings visit Phoenix while Arizona is with Pacific Time, though, just to throw them that small bone.

- Why do the Flyers have a permanent six-game season series with the Florida Panthers? Yeah, that was precisely where my whole sustaining/rotating system broke down. It was working so well right up to that point! Everything else made sense!

 

I'm thinking of really fleshing this out and doing all sorts of concepts and alternate timelines if there's any interest. 

 

Not my work, but I supremely enjoy the top 5% of this meme

"That doesn't mean we have granted an expansion team," Commissioner Bettman said following the Board of Governors meeting. "We have agreed as a league to take and consider an expansion application and to let them run in the next few months a season ticket drive."

 

We're not saying they're getting a team, just that we're not going to have a huge fcking meltdown over selling hypothetical tickets like we did with the Hamilton Predators.

Here's a crazy note on the inexorable march of time: at season's end, the MTS Centre will have had an NHL team for as many years as it didn't: seven and seven. Centre Videotron is already on its third year without the NHL team it was constructed for and at the rate we're going, I don't see one coming in the next four, either. The NHL definitely doesn't crap in the mouths of the people most interested in their product, not at all. Here's to four more years of "no, it's better this way, your inferior presence made a couple dickhead Chrysler dealers in the lower bowl feel less special" long-reads. 

Broward County is bailing the Panthers out through 2022, I wanna say. The line with the BB&T Center has always been "you make so much money on the arena schedule that it's okay to lose money on the hockey team," but maybe by then someone in county government is going to reach the conclusion of "why not have the rest of the schedule but not the hockey team" that a five-year-old or Atlanta Hawks owner could reach.