The_Admiral

Peak absurdity attained. Send in the clowns.

They're raising $10,000 to tase Patrick Kane.

You're closer than I am: what's the root of Bernstein's antipathy for the Blackhawks? He talks a big game about wanting the media to hold them accountable, which is fine in and of itself, but he happily acts as a mouthpiece for other teams the way he accuses others of acting for the Hawks. Something's always been up with him and the team well before this story.

Apparently, the accuser's lawyer thinks a good Samaritan delivered them the bag. It was only the bag which originally contained the kit, not the entire kit. He thinks someone did this to show that the kit was tampered with. This is insane.

Huh?!? If anything, it would be an intimidation tactic, whether real or staged.

Have the DA or police yet commented on the supposed missing rape kit?

Yeah, Hamburg said nothing's their fault regarding the evidence. Helpful, I know.

I'm inclined to think there won't be any charges now.

The prevailing theory is that Kane's off-duty cop broke in all True Detective like and changed the results, which is preposterous, but not impossible in the preposterous world of the NHL. My inclination at first was that this was a desperation maneuver to get out of the woods with some dignity, but WSCR Rape Authority Julie DiCaro says they don't need a rape kit to indict him and they're going to keep going ahead with other evidence instead, evidence which criminal mastermind Patrick Kane wasn't able to tamper with, I guess.

So is Kane a rapist again? I can't keep up with Law & Order: Entitled Douchebags Unit

Well, here it is, the sh-tshow to end all sh-tshows.

MRAs wear trench coats (often with sneakers) while the pickup artists wear bedazzled jeans. Just in case you were wondering.

I wear a black wool overcoat in winter. It's not a trenchcoat but it's longish. idgaf, it gets cold here.

Fedoras aren't cool; they're for the virtually airtight Venn diagram of men's rights activists and pickup artists.

Isn't it also a split-squad game? That's practically a scrimmage.

Aren't they all former figure skaters? Aren't they wearing more as ice girls than figure skaters? What's the prob? If I wanted to watch white girls trudge around in sweatsuits, I'd hang out at O'Hare on a Sunday morning. As long as they're being treated respectfully as employees and not being made to do or wear anything they don't want to, I don't think there's an issue.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions yet on this. The way leaks have been going on this story, tomorrow morning we'll find out she's pregnant.

I was like "ew who's the douche on the left" and then I realized it was the local-born goalie who saved our season

Leave Kane be until trial. Give him that fair shake at least, media.

No, the media has the right to be there and ask questions. They have jobs to do and in that capacity don't owe him a "fair shake." The Blackhawks might not want to make Kane available to the media, though.

I've gotten the feeling McDonough knows a lot more than we do. If this were as cut and dried as it would seem to be, a public relations mastermind like McDonough wouldn't blow this the way we all thought he was. If there's a "positive" outcome here, I hope it's not giving a rape victim a burlap sack of money, because that isn't positive at all.

Incidentally, in the wake of all this, I believe the ice crew has been made to cover their whorish legs.

I'm surprised people don't throw empty toilet paper rolls on the ice for him to gnaw on.

Don't Toews and Kane share representation? I suspect the Blackhawks did not have much leverage in negotiating separate terms. Kane doesn't deserve that much money because he's a belligerent alcoholic who brings shame to every person, place, and thing he associates with, and Toews doesn't deserve that much money because he decides not to score goals for a month at a time, but we really truly had to have them both.

It was funny because Katy Perry is a Zooey Deschanel wax figure that farts cotton candy rainbows and dances with awkward sharks. If people heckled Todd Marchant by calling him Natalie Merchant, it wouldn't have much punch. Tigerlily was a thoughtful and well-crafted album.

Redskins wearing yellow pants > Redskins wearing red pants

Yellow pants at home, burgundy pants on the road. Ideal outcome.

Sadly, I do read Jezebel, but again, there are perspectives out there beyond that of their target audience.

The white knights are real as far as Blackhawks fandom goes. Our leading alternative Hawks blog has been crusading against the ice crew wearing skirts because apparently it's demeaning and apparently we're back in the Victorian era where we can't trust women to show their legs in public. With this, they've been barring blog comments on Kane talk because they don't feel anyone should be allowed to challenge them on it, which is their right, it's their dance floor, but it's still mad dickish.

It's frustrating, because I personally think Kane is guilty, but I don't want to and never want to engage in the pissing contest of who can be the most righteous. That's always my problem.

Could it also be that women in general, paradoxically speaking, don't have the same instant reaction to rape allegations as people in The Movement (which, by its own admission, is [also paradoxically] dominated by white men)? I think it's easy to get caught up in the echo chamber and forget there's a whole world out there where things aren't always as simple as you think they ought to be. Chrissie Hynde is taking all kinds of crap for her inward blame, but it's not always coming from where you'd expect.

I'm sure once that happens, he's gone.

I understand why the Blackhawks haven't acted. McDonough doesn't strike me as an impulsive nor a lazy guy. I think they've taken the temperature on this and realized that the white knights of rape culture are just as much a disproportionately loud fringe as the #isupport88 morons, and that most fans/consumers are just in an uneasy state of caution about the whole thing: ready to condemn him if it looks like they should, but still holding out hope that he didn't do something awful (he probably did). It may sound cynical and gross, but I think that if there were enough women who are fans of the Blackhawks demanding that the team make Kane disappear, then they would make Kane disappear, but there just doesn't seem to be as much outrage there as there would need to be. Dan "Boobs" Bernstein isn't gonna get that done himself.

The league office set the precedent by suspending Voynov. It's on them to suspend Kane, not the Blackhawks, who of course will err on the side of a superstar player like any team would. The league should have. I don't know why they didn't.

In my ideal alternate universe, the Hornets would be in Oklahoma City with a black/yellow/brick palette and all franchise records, and the Charlotte Bobcats would pick up the teal, purple, and Rockwell Bold Condensed, honor the 1988-2002 Hornets as they see fit but keep the Bobcats name. Oklahoma City would unretire Maravich's #7 and Bobby Phills's #13, Charlotte would re-retire the latter.

Some may see this Bobcats logo as a perverse facsimile of the joy the Hornets brought to the Carolinas. I think it's pretty good as far as NBA recolors go; better than the actual recolor the Bobcats did in their "last" years, as much as I did see promise in the color scheme. And besides, all this would mean that the Supersonics exist, the Pelicans don't, and the Thunder don't either. Even with flaws, it's a...net gain. yeeaahhhh

Arizona Coyotes audit: Losses may have been greater than reported, Glendale may have been shortchanged revenue