jonrohlf

Celebrating two home openers today. Ramiro's is back in Elgin! https://t.co/E2zofF1E8c

The best hair in baseball and the worst hair in baseball are both claimed by Mets pitchers. https://t.co/qKjjJ1uPZt

360 Degrees of Kevin Bacon https://t.co/sZT5umoHfj

I would take a driving test every year if it lowered my insurance and got 15% of drivers off the road.

Cubs are on pace to outscore their opponents 1,458 to 0. Cardinals are on pace to go winless this season. ✌️

No more parties in IA. #NewlyWieds https://t.co/KQOMeNqIGZ

@austinkleon The great @fadonz

My voice right now is somewhere between Tom Waits and Pete Holmes' Batman.

On that echinacea tea/Vitamin C diet.

New album covers that caught my eye today. https://t.co/0esftrX6GV

Above the scenes. https://t.co/PCdX205EU4 https://t.co/TY3kXuClaF

@nottjmiller @3oh3 are we still doing Denver Yeah?

I'm not saying no more tweets about Drake LaRoche…let's just try to cut back by 50%.

@the_craigen My next attempt will be smoking and curing. Is curing something that can be done at home or not?

Shot of the tournament right thurr. #UNIFight

@golfnewt Em-bear-rassing

.@ChrisGethard's brand new podcast on Earwolf is an emotional rollercoaster. I laughed. I cried. I schadenfreuded. https://t.co/Sp8M0IiVmp

Did my civic doodie.

Finally, a chance to break out my “BEAT IONA” shirt.

Fasting today in mental and physical preparation for Pequod's pizza tonight.

“I walked in feeling like an ‘artist.’…I didn't feel vulnerable anymore. I lost my humility. And that’s when growth stops.” via @humansofny

Rest in peace Aaron Huffman, art director and bassist of Harvey Danger/The Weather. He and his art will be missed. https://t.co/jy3PUb2cXL

Great night celebrating @Trenton_jones' 28.019 years of age. Sorry we missed your birthday last week.

@jonrohlf There's a darkness on the edge of Iowa.

RT @TheMatthewSmith: Proud of my main dude @TheRealNoahRay who killed it on his first national tv commercial. https://t.co/QGu00Fone4