The_Admiral

Gulls are seabirds and Salt Lake City is about as far from any watershed as possible. Did they become the state bird by clerical error or do they just really dig the Great Salt Lake? 

There you go: Utah Brine Shrimp. Brandiose is already on it.

What is that barn they're playing in? Why is the roof so low? Is it next to an airport?

Pioneers is probably out because people will say it's white supremacist (but again, this team is implicitly for the gentile transplants anyway, i.e., not pioneer stock). 

I said "Salt Barons" as a joke but I'll be damned, that's the best I can do. It's still better than women's-indoor-soccer-league-ass Fury and Venom.

I'm not bullish on the long-term viability of an infinitely sprawling metropolis in a desert that's running out of water. A lot of people may have to go back home and go back to being Wings/Hawks/Flames fans.

1 hour ago, truepg said:

 Similarly as the game itself that is played in the NBA is currently dictated by the analytics maximizing efficiency, which in turn results in a gameplay that is not pretty at all nor fun to watch (one could argue if at all watchable).

beep boop the game has never been better go back to Ethan Strauss's substack you're being unfair to LeBron beep boop

4 hours ago, Ninoners said:

 

"Calling all Big Blue faithful!

 

 Get ready to witness a groundbreaking moment in the history of football fashion as we unveil the next evolution of the iconic New York Giants uniform

You forgot to say "Mr. Mara," unless that's just reserved for their weird bootlicker fans.

1 hour ago, adsarebad said:

Oh really.......

-

"We’re killing the youth of America’: calls grow for crackdown on US gambling"

 

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/dec/01/sports-betting-regulation-gambling-addiction

 

 

Treatment clinics are grappling with an influx of patients in their teens and early 20s and helplines are reporting record levels of calls.

No one ever Coca-Colaed away their kid's college fund.

A new Tigers team should consider orange rather than yellow and black to set them apart from both the Tiger-Cats in town and the Bruins and Penguins in hockey. I did an old Tigers concept with orange, yellow, and steel blue. Call it Tiger Orange, Hamilton Yellow, and, well, Steel Blue for civic engagement, I don't know.

I'd consider dropping red from the Nordiques and going back to the igloo-n designer's original vision of a fully blue team in opposition to the red Canadiens.

I believe the NHL always should have stuck to its home base, but that doesn't mean not having outposts in Los Angeles, Dallas, or Tampa. This alignment stays north of I-64 but is still too big with three teams in not-particularly-hockey-mad Ohio. Kudos to you if you can see it through, though.

12 minutes ago, SFGiants58 said:

The YFZ Ranch was in Texas, IIRC.

It was, but I think they still have a polygamist community up on the Arizona /Utah border.

Did not know that about the space shuttle. Well, take "Challengers" off the nickname list.

What sort of jobs do the Warren Jeffs people have? I know most Utah Mormons just grind away as financial planners and accountants and stuff, but how do you afford building a giant house for your six wives in remote Arizona?

1 hour ago, DCarp1231 said:

Utah Polygamists 

The polygamist Mormons actually live in far northern Arizona.

There's going to be a culture shock. In Utah, a "dirty soda" is when they put flavored syrup in a Coke. In hockey, a "dirty soda" is when you drag your teammate behind a bar, pin him to the ground, pull down his pants, and shoot a seltzer gun up his ass. 

9 hours ago, GDAWG said:

There has been significant pushback against publicly funded stadiums for sports teams in the last year or so and the only one that has been successful is the OKC Thunder's attempts to get a new arena, which was voted "yes" by I think an 80-20 margin.  

Outlaws? They send half their population to go work for the FBI and CIA.

The City Connects feel tied to Tim "Jackie Robinson" Anderson, so maybe they need a hiatus.

On 4/19/2024 at 2:08 PM, Bruhammydude said:

Is no one going to mention that Antonio Brown under CTESPN of all people might've just leaked two uniforms???? Lmao

People were paying more attention to his other comment.

3 hours ago, BBTV said:

But the thing was - no poop was in my pants!  Shoulda called me "poopy floor" or something.

1

nothing wrong with me

2

nothing wrong with me

3

nothing wrong with me

bwahhhhh

let the poopy hit the floor

let the poopy hit the floor

This dumb bastard actually dropped an "I'm so glad you reached out, I'm actually at capacity" about refunding tickets for a team that doesn't exist anymore. We gotta get him back in the game as soon as possible.

No one would have begrudged them a plain NHL sweater to hold up at the draft, but to drag it out over a year because Fanatics can't do anything except be given money is a joke.

23 minutes ago, Sodboy13 said:

Look, I get that the Winnipeg owners had the advantage of two names, one of which already had a full identity, at the ready. But that sale happened a month later in the calendar than this one and they were still suited up and ready to sell all types of merch by October. This is asinine.

I had a great idea during lunch to post Ryan Smith's logo concept based on his Jazz logo, which would just be the words "HOCKEY TEAM" in black athletic-block letters. Now I can't do that because he already did it. We're not done here, not by a long shot.

EDIT: also, the Whalers moved out of Hartford without an official destination in place (what an indignity), and Karmanos still managed to draw the Flushing Toilet on a napkin somewhere in Michigan in time for the next season.

Brian Burke: 
"I had an idea: we pretend to be the Army and then Chris Pronger elbows everyone in the head"

"Hey, that idea worked! I think I'll take a nap"

[sleeps through 2008-2024]

"hey hey uh wha ah ahhh what the hell's goin on I was just gonna go golfing there"

Just now, FiddySicks said:

But looking at that list, SLC slots in right between Nashville and Pittsburgh. It’s definitely not as out of the question for the league as I originally thought. If they aren’t a total dumpster fire like they’ve been in Phoenix, they may end up being a decent little success. 

Is there another two-team market where the teams are NBA and NHL? It's not a configuration that comes to mind off the top of my head. Plenty of NFL + one of the other two, but that's still only partial overlap. 

Salt Lake City has the sort of demographics that the NHL likes to go after, but the problem is that that NHL-friendly demographic is deeply committed to the NBA. The Utah Jazz fanbase is much less given to writing about Kendrick Lamar lyrics; mostly they're just loud idiots who like rooting for their sports team. Again, I think there's going to be a major local/transplant fault line here with the hockey fans riding the SLUT to amazing craft breweries while the Mormons stick with the Jazz.

I get so tired of hearing "the NHL NEEDS to be in Phoenix." Or else what? Their RSN went out of business this year and people from other places will just watch their own teams.

The NBA needs to be in Seattle more than the NHL needs to be in Phoenix and they're not there.

Adam Silver banning Donald Sterling made franchise values quadruple. How will terrible people benefit from this one?

Yeah, that's not a place for a hockey arena, that's a place for an office campus for something called "Telesystems Unlimited." Bullet dodged (but the Coyotes still probably should have moved to Hamilton).