SumanCommaJake

Analyzing our own piss in lab this morning

Considering letting my beard grow out again all summer, along with my hair, but start right now instead if mid-may

If Truman were in office, there wouldn't be a North Korea right now.

Not now, chief. I'm in the zone.

Getting up at 6:45 is really gonna be :censored:y

I'm goin to work WOOO I'm goin to work WOOO *meek milli voice* http://t.co/adCkpUJWXY

ERMAHGERD WHERE IS THER LURLIPURP?!?!?!

Gonna go honor Christ by eating ham and looking for eggs that were hidden by a magical rabbit.

Zak :censored:ing Bagans

http://t.co/DJKZN7DUzD

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, I drive your truck

Left my card at City Tap last night ?

I miss my buddy Pat the Rat

There's a 40+ year old man sitting at the end of his driveway playing with an RC car across the street from me hahahaha wtf

"You might as well just bust her wide open." Lmfao @hess_hess1000

Welcome to Jamrock

The Swagger http://t.co/UrT6d3RrJr

BRICKSSsssss

#tbt New Year's Eve doe http://t.co/tsyIcUhYlT

? RT “@karrah_rath: i really need to shower but i really hate showering #thestruggle”

Defiance College of Witchcraft and Wizardry http://t.co/jv3fzVxZOg

Absolutely nothing!! Incorporate some twangy breakdowns! Lmao RT “@jakeabr: I've been listening to country lately... What's wrong with me?”

“@KSUcrushes: "The black guy who makes omelettes"” the homie Steve!! I bet he'd remember my order if I went back tomorrow @Dragan_Vidos

On family feud, when asked what he would hope to see when he dies, the deranged bastard answers "satan" ?