Pierce County Bengal revisited

[walkerws]

So I finally took the time to redo the Pierce County Bengals logo that I did for the team in 2001 and 2002.Can someone look at where I went from pencil to electrons and see what went wrong?

2001 Logo

2002 Logo

Originally I did this pencil and since I don't have a drafting pen for my wacom tablet, I use the MS paint feature as I haven't been too terribly succesful in getting hte hang of inkscape or paint.net yet. Here's the pencil.

After walking it over, I higlighted the edges and did some black and white work to get this.

What can I do to makethis more tiger like and better in general?

~Bill

[GriffinM6]

Definitely needs a tongue. I'd also change the color of the teeth to white.

[GFB]

Just some general feedback...

- You need to do a better job of looking at the design as a living illustration and not as a series of lines overlaid on one shape. The whole design feels flat because there's no depth or order to it. The teeth are on the same level as the jaw and ears yet in front of the whiskers.

- Line thickness/thinness is far too random as well. There's no reason for the forehead and nose to be twice as thick as the lines separating the cheek and ears from the neck. Think of it this way: use your line thickness to help develop a sense of depth in your designs. So the areas underneath the jaw and around the cheek should be thicker than the areas where there wouldn't be a shadow cast.

- Your lines are too wispy, due in part to the line thinness issue, but also you have too many "S" curved lines. "S" curves show flow and motion, but they tend to make the design delicate if they are overused or too thin.

[McCall]

Just some general feedback...

- You need to do a better job of looking at the design as a living illustration and not as a series of lines overlaid on one shape. The whole design feels flat because there's no depth or order to it. The teeth are on the same level as the jaw and ears yet in front of the whiskers.

- Line thickness/thinness is far too random as well. There's no reason for the forehead and nose to be twice as thick as the lines separating the cheek and ears from the neck. Think of it this way: use your line thickness to help develop a sense of depth in your designs. So the areas underneath the jaw and around the cheek should be thicker than the areas where there wouldn't be a shadow cast.

- Your lines are too wispy, due in part to the line thinness issue, but also you have too many "S" curved lines. "S" curves show flow and motion, but they tend to make the design delicate if they are overused or too thin.

What I was thinking. Honestly a straight vectoring of the sketch and it would be great. You can see how much some of the shapes changed. They were solid and didn't appear as just a line drawing but more of a true logo design. Except make that stripe behind the head solid black instead of open like it is. Just looks weird. Like someone cut out part of him.