Sure we can relate to this site

[SDX]

I'm sure the majority on this board have heard and seen most from Clients from Hell site. well worth a read: http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/

# Prospective client: $400 for a logo?! Why are you so expensive? My nephew has Photoshop?I can just get him to do it.

# Me: Does your nephew have Microsoft Word?

?I like everything about it. It?s just PERFECT! I just want to change the colours a bit. Instead of pale blue for background, let?s make it a bright yellow. I also think links should go red. I want people to see them! Lastly all the images are too boring. Can we use clowns or some circus images? I want bright colours everywhere! ? can we use Comic Sans, too? Current font looks too clean.?

YES, he did actually say Lucida was TOO CLEAN for him.

[epper]

awesome link and so, so true.

[CDixonDesign]

That was a great read, thanks for the site! I'll bookmark it if I ever need a laugh...

[oddball]

I can add a couple onto that, and it was a great read. These are a couple true examples of the stupidity of people.

I designed a broadcast email and was also asked to email it out to everyone including our production manager, my boss, and the client. I made it 612 pixels by 792 pixels, which is the size of a 8 1/2 x 11 inch piece of paper. I figured it was readable. I then get an email back from my boss, and it was an email that was forwarded to me from the client. It read, "Can you make it larger, so I can show it to investors? It's small and blurry and I can't read it." So I made it twice the size for the test site. I then thought about it and sent the original 612x792 email to one of my hotmail accounts knowing the client was using hotmail. I got it the attachment and saw the link at the top and at the bottom of the email along with something that made me laugh. At a certain size hotmail gives you a thumbnail picture of what the attachment is. That is what the client was looking at.

It gets better. I get an email one day from my boss, "You have a Mac, can you fix the issue with the site since the client has a Mac." I put my head in my hands and just shook my head. The boss or guy who owns this web company, doesn't have a clue about any graphic programs and actually asked me to print pictures from his desktop because he couldn't figure out how to do it. I told him I would and I fixed the problem. Then a few weeks later I get an email, "Can you fix the issue with the client's site?" I emailed back what was the problem, and was told by the client that the website on the test site is freezing on his end. I told him it sounded like his computer has problems and I'm not an I.T. guy and can't fix that especially since we're not even in the same city. I knew it wasn't our issue, but I proceeded to ask a few more questions to which I got the response, "It freezes up halfway through loading on all the MACs in our office that are 18" or larger." Right! I checked it on a Sony 15" laptop and a I have no clue what kind of computer my dad has, but he has a 21" monitor and it worked. The really sad part about this, is if that was the case that then it would freeze on my computer, and it loads just fine. How do I know? I have a 24" imac.

[santoleri3]

Some of these clients are truly horrible. But...

I think the problem with the clients is that they are purely transaction oriented. Their concept is product=transaction. They cannot relate to any medium where there is not a physical item that can be bagged and then exchanged for their money.

In a way, I feel sorry for them; they truly don't understand what they want, or they don't understand what the artist offers. They definitely don't understand that design is art. They are so used to going to Target or Burger King or anywhere else where its "I give you this you pay me that", and they either never learned to operate outside that model or forgot how.

I used to work in our training department, and every time something had to be written, I was asked to do it (a lifetime ago I majored in English lit, so the boss assumed I could write). It was the same thing: "yes, what you wrote was factually correct and technically accurate, but it can't be presented to the senior management team like that".

What, do you want me to lie?

"No, we want you to make it say this..."

And of course, it was no longer fully correct, or it was vague, or all mention of risk was removed.

The story that bothers me the most from this site was the sculptor. How could someone trying to sell their art not understand someone trying to sell their art?

[oddball]

I'll tell you something that I've learned especially in web, is that clients don't fully understand or appreciate what it takes to build a website and that they are never fully finished. It was hard to explain to a tattoo artist who's website I was working on that it takes time to code an original website from scratch and that it's not like doing a tattoo where it's there and done, web you have to make sure it works on all browsers and all monitors. I think he would've been more understanding had his site not been promised to him in 4-6 weeks and I laid it out and then it came back to me 2 months later which was 3 months after he was promised the site in 4-6 weeks. He's since moved on to a professional company who will give him the attention he deserves and so I'm just waiting to start with a new company.

[infrared41]

I once saw this posted on a video production board. I think it's the perfect answer to a problem client.

We can do it great, fast, and cheap. You get to pick two of the three.

[Jigga]

I saw this nice little graphic that goes a little deeper into the Good/Fast/Cheap thing: