Arts11

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About Arts11

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    Knicks, Yankees, Rangers, Renegades

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  1. Yeah, it's frustrating because it's so petty. Prior to all of this, I really was just not plugged in to office drama and I was content with that. Now, I just get random stares and hear my name passed around, and it's not likely to abate until the next bit of gossip comes out. The part about her not exactly gelling with her coworkers is sort of a yellow flag for me because I can't tell if it's the situation or something related to her. It's weird because when I first met her at a networking event, she seemed to be talking and laughing and really getting along with her colleagues. It's really only been like the last month or two that she's been telling me how things suddenly started to change. Apparently there was one incident where she came against one of her "queen bee" coworkers and that's when everything just started coming down. She's been light on the details, but she allegedly tried to stick up for another coworker that was the focus of drama and I guess she sort of inherited that position afterwards. One of the things I like about her is how she really hasn't been that stereotypical "girly girl" who tries to play hard to get or who lives off drama and gossip and attention. She's been straightforward and relaxed with me and we kind of hit that "sweat pants and messy rooms" comfort level real quickly. I don't know, I guess those same qualities that make her unique in a relationship don't gel with the way those stereotypical "gossip girl" women like to act. [I know I'm generalizing a lot with these stereotypes and I don't mean to offend, but this is based off of my own dating history and a lot of the girls I remember from HS/college/post-school]
  2. What's everyone's thoughts on dating or not dating based off of someone's public reputation? I've been seeing this woman for the last several weeks, but despite my best efforts to keep my personal life private, I guess someone saw us out one night and suddenly I've been dragged into the office rumor mill. We work for different, but sometimes competing companies so there's always been some intermingling and networking between employees. And apparently she's developed an unpleasant reputation among the office gossip mongers, all unbeknownst to me, because she's gone out with 1 or 2 of my coworkers, who to be honest, are not the most scrupulous or trustworthy of people to start with and apparently love to talk about their "social" agenda at work a lot. Anyway, I've been approached by a number of "concerned" coworkers who've not-so-casually mentioned that she "gets around" and that I should be careful. I would normally kind of shrug this off, but it's gotten to the point that I'm hearing from some work friends that random coworkers are talking about us and throwing in even more rumors, and now I don't know what to believe. She brought it up herself without prompting, but she says she's been ostracized at her work because she actually tries to challenge certain practices/promote change and so plays devil's advocate at times, making her unpopular among some of her coworkers (although some rumors are saying she's "difficult to work with"). That and people using rumors about her personal life (she's one of those unintentionally flirty girls who gets along better with guys than girls) as further reason to shun her. Basically, this is like High School all over again but with 20-30something year olds, and like it or not, it's starting to get distracting. I like this woman and wouldn't stop seeing her just because of what everyone's saying, but I'm also not going to lie and say that some of the rumors (professional and personal ones) don't bother me. After all, some must be steeped in some truth for them to have grown so much, right? At this point, we still get along, but I feel like there's just a little bit of tension there now since things kinda got more public with us, and I don't really know where things are going relationship-wise. It also doesn't help that she's told me she's starting to look for new jobs in a different city now because of all of this.
  3. I've never been a big travel fan for some reason. I don't mind traveling if someone plans things out or invites me along, but I've never been all that proactive about it myself. That being said, I do have a couple places I'd like to visit someday: - Oceania (specifically New Zealand and Australia, but I wouldnt mind looking into the whole Polynesian islands thing) - Japan (I actually went years ago, but the trip was sort of a disaster: constant rain/bad weather, cancelled tours, got sick, et al.; I really just want a mulligan) - Pacific Northwest (Portland/Seattle/Vancouver) - Route 66 (been thru a couple stretches of it incidentally, but one day would kinda like to travel the whole thing) - Cross-Continental Train Ride (I've always liked trains, and I've seen people who have done this online, so I feel like it'd be kinda cool) - UK (my interest in visiting seems to decline every year; maybe b/c it's become so overly exposed in like TV/movies/media that I feel like there isn't much left for me to anticipate) - Germany/Netherlands/Northern Europe (dunno, just seems cool)
  4. Office politics suddenly ramped up to like 11 this week. One of the executive directors unexpectedly stepped down (though the word is, he was forced out) and that's caused a snowball effect in upper management in my division. Bunch of people who were hired during the now-former director's tenure subsequently revealed they were jumping ship to other companies (which makes us think this has been brewing under the table for awhile). Have no idea what's going to happen now with so many higher ups in one division essentially leaving at the same time. The infrastructure was already kinda fragile, and now it's basically on the edge. Plus the former director's duties are going to be temporarily handled by one of the other directors who's kinda known to be uh, "not so nice." Everything's just so fresh, no one knows what to think and that uncertainty is grinding my gears.
  5. Thats been my general philosophy too. I've got a couple of work colleagues that became true friends and I'm cool with that. I don't really care about the rest. There are a couple of seasonal work gatherings (e.g., holiday party, summer BBQ, etc) the company has traditionally been holding annually, but they really saw a decline in participation this last year. Had a large influx of young, fresh out of school, workers this past year who were clamoring for more social activities, yet they're the ones that never come when we do host stuff.
  6. People no showing or cancelling last minute for meetups and social events. People in my department at work complain how our comraderie is sorta lacking, yet every time we set something up, it's always the same few people that end up coming (and they're not the ones complaining about lack of comraderie). There's always a lot of no shows, and recently there have been a lot of late cancellations. It's just frustrating and making me think it's a waste of time. Also at work, people keep complaining about wanting some changes here and there, yet every time we try to get a committee going to address these issues, none of the people calling for change show up. Again, it's just a lot of frustration and annoyance.
  7. So in the almost 3 weeks since, I think I'm ready to just let it go. We've met up once or twice for a quick coffee during impromptu work breaks, but it was rushed and kind of forced. It's just too much work for such little return. That, and the fact that actual busy season at work is going to ramp up in earnest soon so I don't think things are going to get any better. I think the mutual attraction may still be there, but it's gotten buried by too much outside stuff. Think I'm just gonna pull back and forget about things for now. Funny thing is, I recently met a friend of a friend (well, more like acquaintance) last week that came to town for a job interview. They asked if I could check in on her while she was here. We ended up getting lunch and spending about half the day together after her interview and I felt like we had instant chemistry. Granted, it was short and it was a different situation, but that just kinda reminded me how fun and relatively effortless this should all be. I'm kicking myself right about now for not actually getting her number before she left. I mean, I guess I could ask my acquaintance, but the chances that she actually moves here are pretty slim, so I don't think there's much of a point. For one, she lives out of state so I feel like she can find someplace closer to home, and two, the job she applied for doesn't pay all that well relatively-speaking. Anyway, this experience just reminded me that things shouldn't require so much effort, and I just need to find someone more available.
  8. So I met this new girl just under 2 months ago and I feel like we really hit it off. We both have really busy work schedules, but we managed to go out a couple of times early on. But then the holidays hit and things kinda went on the backburner as she, then I, basically alternated being on vacation. One top of that, right after the holidays, we both separately got super swamped with work. As a result, I dont think we've physically seen each other in nearly a month. Yet we've been in pretty consistent contact (texts, social media, etc) during this time. We've already compared work schedules, and there really isn't much common free time except maybe at the very end of the month. The problem I'm having is trying to figure out what this is and where, whatever it is, is going. I do feel like there's mutual interest, but we literally cannot seem to find time to see each other to build on it. What would you all do in this situation? P.S. I'm just gonna come out and admit it, but I don't exactly have a line of women waiting to date me. It's not like I'm missing opportunities waiting around on this girl. I'm still going out, meeting new people, putting myself out there, but nothing else is really clicking. That's why I've been okay with this protracted "interested" phase. I just don't know if I'm barking up the wrong tree or if I should try to "define" things sooner than later.
  9. the star logo reminds of this: maybe they can team up and cross-promote with the new Power Rangers movie haha.
  10. Let me preface this with saying that I'm nowhere near the whole marriage/wedding thing yet, but I have entertained the whole "who would I pick as a groomsmen" question recently thanks to one of my friends getting engaged. I'm one of those guys who has a lot of acquaintances and casual friends, but only a handful of close guy friends, and it seems only at any one given time period [eg, during high school, college, work, etc.]. That would potentially make picking out groomsmen tricky as I seem to be in and out of people's lives a lot, instead of being a constant presence. That means I've lost touch with a number of really close guy friends in the past. On the other hand, as they just seem better at keeping in touch, I have a couple of really close platonic female friends who I could potentially see as "groomsmaids." I know that's become a thing nowadays, but I've yet to actually see it at any of the weddings I've been to, and kinda wonder how widely practiced it actually is and if anyone here has done that before?
  11. Been waiting on a package to get delivered, and the one day I'm able to get off early to go claim it at my apartment's front desk, THEY close early. Ugh, this is why I hate the holidays sometimes...
  12. TL;DR: She's not going to date you, and for the sake of your job I would leave it alone and let her go. You're either in or you're out, and it doesn't go both ways. Don't give her the satisfaction of having a friendship outside of being coworkers. Don't fall for that validation bullcrap where you accept being some back-pocket option. Decisively end the relationship, especially in your own mind, and pursue another. Not that I was avoiding her or anything, but after getting over things for the most part, I realized I hadn't seen my coworker at the office in awhile so I tapped into the office gossip out of curiosity. Apparently, her crazy controlling ex came into town like a week ago just to "visit" and she's been essentially "working from home" since (and making herself really scarce). Not sure what happened exactly (I hope it's not anything sinister), but rumors are that she basically shut down emotionally or something to the point that she's barely talking to anybody. I don't really know any of the finer details, but it kinda puts her reasoning for "not being ready to date" into perspective. And kinda scary how some relationships can get that traumatic.
  13. Update about my situation with coworker (see post #3903 on page 196 for more details). Quick rundown: we first went out almost a month ago wherein we spend like 6 hours together on our first date. We agreed on a second date but our work schedule/holidays kept delaying it, but we talked/texted like everyday inbetween (including when she went traveling for her holidays). Anyway, I think everything's going great leading up to what should've been our second date when she outta the blue today texts me that she's not ready for this. Gave the excuse about breaking up with a long term boyfriend right before starting work here and being hit on constantly by other coworkers and not knowing what she wants at this stage of her life/career and just not being ready to date (I dont really believe this sort of excuse in general). Obviously, this doesn't sit well with me. I kinda just stopped texting back, but this just annoys/angers me. I mean, what is a girl getting from tthis when they string a guy along for so long? I mean, I feel like I was reading all the signs appropriately: she constantly texted me nearly everyday for the last month; would reveal personal details about her family (including sharing photos) totally unsolicited, and agreed on a second date even when she had mentioned she had rejected two other coworkers previously. I don't know, it's just this sudden aboutface that has me reeling. I seriously thought this one could've been special. I don't know. I know what I should do (cut off communication and move on). But what do y'all think? What were yall's experiences with a similar situation? (kinda just want some comfort or maybe constructive criticism about this whole crappy situation)
  14. Yeah, it doesnt look so much as mischievous as it does "creepy and pervy," especially with the new winky face. I also like the base idea, but they have to improve it.
  15. I've never been the most articulate with these things, but what phrasing would I use to ask so it's not totally awkward? I imagine being too forward like, "Do you like me?" isn't going to fly. Or does the standard "I had fun last night, do you want to do it again?" imply enough? I honestly dont know.