tarvarisdyck Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 This is my first concept with a new template. Hopefully I can get some C&C..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartacat_12 Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 The gold that you used looks too yellowy and you shouldn't have used so much of it. There's also too much red and not enough black. The template looks good though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coast2CoastAM2006 Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 This is my first concept with a new template. Hopefully I can get some C&C.....not bad, but i don't care for the swoosh arms. it looks too much like mcdonalds. kill that and go with the striping that matches the bottom of the jersey. Speaking of the bottom of the jersey, please clean up the lines. Patsox used to do this on his concepts, i suggest cleaning that up other wise it kills a pretty decent design. i'd like to see a black jersey and white jersey version of that. maybe have the 2d logo on the white and black jerseys?edit: missed this after i posted my reply. color in the arm pits. it makes the concept look unfinished. Spoilers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenatorJake Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Well it's your first concept and I'm sure you will get better. However, I really do not like what you have done here. What more can I say? Too much red, not enough black, the gold colour looks yellow, I don't like the white armpits.This jersey does not take into account Ottawa's sporting tradition & it looks like a jersey a team from Calgary would wear. Get rid of the gold all together (except for in the logo), add more stripes than just 2 swooshes on the arms & add some black.In any case, your already better than me at making jerseys, (I've tried and I'm really bad, not worth showing to anybody) but I'm just throwing some suggestions at you that most Ottawa fans would agree with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB61 Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Well it's your first concept and I'm sure you will get better.Actually, this is his fifth, just his first with this template.It looks a little better, but the color is off -- the yellow is too bright. The dark features on the warrior are too blurred, and the white around the logo is too cruddy.While I like the swoop on the arms and the arrows on the bottom, I don't like them both at the same time.Even patsox got one right once in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenatorJake Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Well it's your first concept and I'm sure you will get better.Actually, this is his fifth, just his first with this template.It looks a little better, but the color is off -- the yellow is too bright. The dark features on the warrior are too blurred, and the white around the logo is too cruddy.While I like the swoop on the arms and the arrows on the bottom, I don't like them both at the same time.Even patsox got one right once in a while.Oh yeah... look at that, it's tavarisdyck again, I didn't even notice it was him. Well, he is showing some improvement because this is somewhat cleaner than the last ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliott Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 The template is WAY too short on the bottom. Extend it. Can't say I like the concept that much, good try, but I think if you use the stripe from the bottom on the arms, you might have something. Dribbble ... Behance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TML13 Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 to much red. try a black version w/o the arm swoops ~Sign the Petition, Join on Facebook, Follow on Twitter~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson160 Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Tavaris, or Patsox, or whoever you are... I agree the gold looks too orange. Also, the sleeve numbers might be easier to spot in white instead of red. Not bad, though...you're improving, which is as sure a sign as any that you aren't Patsox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JRP Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 It's missing something. I agree with the previous posts, too much red. Maybe a shoulder logo/patch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarvarisdyck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Share Posted August 15, 2007 OK, thanks to everyone who gave their criticism. I've taken it all into account and have tried to make a revised version that will please all of you.Changes Include:-Different Gold (less yellow/orange)-More Black added (sleeves)-Bottom pattern added to sleeves-Sleeve #'s changed to white-Shoulder patches added alsoC&C appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenatorJake Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 OK, thanks to everyone who gave their criticism. I've taken it all into account and have tried to make a revised version that will please all of you.Changes Include:-Different Gold (less yellow/orange)-More Black added (sleeves)-Bottom pattern added to sleeves-Sleeve #'s changed to white-Shoulder patches added alsoC&C appreciatedWow, that's... not bad. Congrats. This is night & day compared to the old ones. I really like the changes you made on the swoosh armbands. If I were you, I'd get rid of the gold around the black neck. Maybe add the new 2D logo as the shoulder patch, instead of the old one. Other than that, you got yourself a nice concept, right there.Somebody's improving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson160 Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 OK, thanks to everyone who gave their criticism. I've taken it all into account and have tried to make a revised version that will please all of you.Changes Include:-Different Gold (less yellow/orange)-More Black added (sleeves)-Bottom pattern added to sleeves-Sleeve #'s changed to white-Shoulder patches added alsoC&C appreciatedMuch, much better. You've taken our C&C and used it to improve your concept. Congratulations, you can be officially declared "not Patsox"!Looking at it now, I'd be curious to see what this would look like if the sleeve armbands went straight around instead of swooshing--keep them the same width all the way around the sleeve. The rest of the jersey looks good, and classic--the swooshes don't really fit.But good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarvarisdyck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Share Posted August 15, 2007 my bad, double post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarvarisdyck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Share Posted August 15, 2007 Wow, that's... not bad. Congrats. This is night & day compared to the old ones. I really like the changes you made on the swoosh armbands. If I were you, I'd get rid of the gold around the black neck. Maybe add the new 2D logo as the shoulder patch, instead of the old one. Other than that, you got yourself a nice concept, right there.Somebody's improving.thanks, I realized soon after that the senators had leaked their new 2d logo, but seeing that I am not a big sens fan and rarely care to check up on their rumours, hadn't seen it until another post appeared soon after my original. Now I've added the new shoulder patch, as well i have taken out the gold from the neckline (as seen on the teaser).If reviews are generally positive, I might work on creating a white/away version and MAYBE a black.C&C please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarvarisdyck Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Heres the white road one. Not quite satisfied yet.... seems like somethings missing.C&C please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JRP Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Heres the white road one. Not quite satisfied yet.... seems like somethings missing.C&C pleaseI like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenatorJake Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Heres the white road one. Not quite satisfied yet.... seems like somethings missing.C&C please See how the bottom part with the laurels has some red on it? Well the arm swooshes should be getting some red around them too. Also, the numbers on the back of the jersey and on the shoulders don't match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy B Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I think there is too much black and not enough red on the away jersey. I would suggest switching the black and red stripes on the jersey, so there is more red. Another option would be what Senator Jake suggested, which is adding a red stripe around the arm swooshes. A little more red on this, and you've got yourself a nice jersey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarvarisdyck Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 OK took suggestions, heres what I came up with:I tried going all-red with the numbers but it didnt look right with the new red outline I've added.C&C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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