Evan Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 howdy boys and girls (fake or real). I am going to be applying for some internships in marketing and advertising. I have an ad I just started working on for Wisconsin State Fair. I'd love some feedback on it from you guys. The wisconsin guy will probably become my band logo (plug plug plug). Anyways, I'd love to hear what you all think so I can fine tune it.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v189/eva...instatefair.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutz Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 It's a good idea, I just hate the transition between the map and the text. erikas | go birds | dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordie_delini Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Yeah I agree with Chestnutz, there needs to be some symmetry between the map and the type portion. Make the map full bleed, and incorporate the type, logo, and dates on top of the map. I would also further refine your map of Wisconsin outline. I would make it more subtle and make it look like it was drawn originally on the map the way you've rendered it. I would further keep all of the geographic elements to make it blend in more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 alright, i am reworking it as we speak. It is taking... well I while. Thanks guys for the feedback. I don't normally get much feedback, so this will be a good experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordie_delini Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 trust me, taking your time with a design is a very, very good thing sometimes. Often young designer (myself included in that) are so eager to please with their work they will rush it and miss some of the more important details or even miss potential solutions. No knock on you, this is a nice start to what could end up being a very strong piece in your portfolio. When it comes down to it, a good design and a great design are separated by details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDR Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 howdy boys and girls (fake or real). I am going to be applying for some internships in marketing and advertising. I have an ad I just started working on for Wisconsin State Fair. I'd love some feedback on it from you guys. The wisconsin guy will probably become my band logo (plug plug plug). Anyways, I'd love to hear what you all think so I can fine tune it.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v189/eva...instatefair.pngWhat's the internship in? Copywriting or Art Direction? It's an interesting idea, and if you're going to be a writer, I think it's solid. If you're going for Art Direction/Design it needs a little work. I'd lessen the stroke around the state, making it look more "realistic" like that was the actual state outline (without the idea getting lost, of course-you don't want it to blend in too much). And, I agree with the criticism of the way you transition to the text. The way you have it now would probably run...the client would be fine with it and you'd see it up. But, if you're trying to show off your design chops, I'd do something more interesting. I'm a writer, so I can't help you with ideas there. I also would consider changing the font. I like that it's bold and striking, but you might be able to do better. Although, it's not awful by any means, so it might end up working fine. I love white space, but I'm not feeling it in this layout. I think there's something you can do to make it feel more cohesive and less segmented. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidson Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 i dont get it? is that an arm and a mouth?if so i cant for the life of work out what the rest is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 i dont get it? is that an arm and a mouth?if so i cant for the life of work out what the rest is.I can see it needs more work lol. It's supposed to be a arm with a clenched fist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsM29 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I see the arm and clenched fist, but I also see a donkeys head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 -Obvious changes is the state of Wisconsin.- The ad has no text as of now because I am lost where to put it- The white bar could be used to put in the text, but I do not know if it will be big enough or a good idea. It also breaks up the design. See the top of the ad (the second part of the map) is actually an edited version of the top of the original map. The actual image does not go that far so I had to cheat a bit. It was the only one I could lower wisconsin into the center of the ad.Advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDC Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Why is Illinois highlighted in orange? ---Owner of the NHA's Philadelphia Quakers, the UBA's Chicago Skyliners, and the CFA's Portland Beavers (2010 CFA2 Champions)--- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
O_Town_Clown Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Now that Wisconsin looks more like itself, I think you can be more exaggerated with the muscled arm and clenched fist. By that I mean, you can deviate even more from the look of the Door Peninsula and make it look like an less abstract arm. I would, however, use some reference material for the clenched fist. At the moment, it looks too claw-like. Sig by TalktoChuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Alright, I have had some free time to work on the logo a bit more, I am still working on the hand (obviously as you will see), but I have the text in a way that I do like. Tell me what you all think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutz Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Big improvement. Put the hand in there and you're set. erikas | go birds | dribbble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 -made hand-texturized wisconsin a bit more-changed "2009 Wisconsin State Fair" font-added boarder-made ad tallerwhat do you all think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordie_delini Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 study some photos or illustrations of hands. right now your rendering of the fist is killing the concept. I would change all the map features other than Wisconsin to grayscale so the state stands out more. You're certainly getting closer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckymack Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Gordie nailed it right on the head. Don't draw hands if you can't draw hands.....I think that may have come straight from the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Sigs are for sissies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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