Orlando Hawks

[slapshot]

Hi everyone

After much slacking, delaying, beating around the bush, and otherwise putting it off, I have finally started working on my PFA fantasy team logo, the Orlando Hawks. I have the wordmark down, and I have ideas for the uniforms, but I have hit a block for the bird itself.

I used pictures of hawks I found online, but I think my "concept into execution" synapse may be a little flawed. My bird doesn't exactly scream intimidation. My roommate thinks it looks like a chicken.

I am trying to keep the colors as they are...no black or extra white added, except the white of the eye. I used a darker green and brighter red for contrast, and they came out better than I hoped.

I wonder if the main problem might be the eye. Every time I try to draw an eye, it never comes out the way I want it to. Not scowling or menacing, more wide-eyed. Even if I draw a brow, it looks more bored and tired than scary.

If there are other "flaws", let me know. C/C very much appreciated.

[shiznit1083]

It's a goo start and has the potential to be a very nice logo, however, you still have some work to do.

I'd work on the bottom lip a little. It looks too long, just not right. I dunno.

Also the eye make him look almost passive I woul try thinning out the eye a little and trying a new eye treatment all together.

We'll be with you every step of the way on this one.

[HappyBrownie13]

i think that kinda works as an ATL Hawks logo, actually

[winters in buffalo]

It's a great start. I like the eye, but the beak needs some work. Seems a bit inconsistent with the rest.

[axl007]

Hey, nice start. Put your finger over the bottom beak and you'll see that the hawk has the potential to look "tougher". The eye looks good, maybe just shrink it a bit, big eyes convey youth(see Japanimation). I dig the simplicity of it, the secret of good logos. The head shape at the top is good, maybe more movement at the bottom.

for eyes and shape check out--NFL Cardinals, Ravens, and Seahawks

for beaks check out--NFL Eagles and many other leagues

[paynomind]

It's a goo start

I agree.. a very goo start.

I think if you go back to your reference material, the eye isnt anywhere near that big. Also, you show a lot of roundness in the 'black' of the eye.. if you make the black biccker, and the white narrower, it will look more ferocious.

[slapshot]

OK guys, a little bump. Thanks for the advice.

I have a few ideas of what I want to do with this now. I will lengthen the top of the beak and shorten the bottom. I see how the eye is grotesquely oversized. I'll find some "angerier" eye references. I might add a little feather shading to the left of the eye and beak. I will make the lines a little more consistent as well.

I still want to keep a minimal look without getting too busy. I intentionally chose dark green, red and yellow because I wanted to break away form the black and navy I've been using a lot. It looks dark, but it is green. I might lighten it up a little, it almost looks black on my LCD at home. I just want to keep the contrast going so the red and green don't vibrate against one another. And I want to keep it looking like a hawk rather than an eagle.

[rozilla74]

Agreed, a goo start! The bottom back end of the hawk's head looks too scrunched. Work with repeating arcs and angles to balance out the head shape. Keeping it simple will make it look very classy. especially with the amount of black and the colors you have chosen. Keep at it.

[slapshot]

thanks...I really need to lighten the green. There is NO BLACK in this at all

It's just a very dark green.

Originally I was thinking of having the hawk come out through the middle of an "O" (for Orlando), so that's why the neck seems short as it comes down to a point. But I liked the way it looked on its own, so I never had it with the O.

[rozilla74]

(Rubbing eyes) I see the dark green now

[Lee.]

It's a good start...but it makes me crave corn flakes.

[slapshot]

ok...I played around with this a bit more after reading the advice you all generously provided me. It's coming out better now, although I can see how the bottom of the neck seems abrupt. I'll still tweak it a bit. I lightened the green as well, although it shows up as black on my work screen.

The new version is on the left, old version on right.

c/c appreciated still, thanks

[slapshot]

bump...I should have labeled this one "Senators concept"

[Waffles]

You've definitely the facial expression right now...

The way it just kinda drops off towards the bottom so dramatically on the left is a little distracting as it sort of impedes the appearance of left-to-right movement (at least that's what I think you were trying to convey).

[Mings]

I don't know, but I'm just not feeling these. Sorry. The Hawk just doesn't look right the way it is right now.

[shiznit1083]

I like the update and it is definitly getting better, but a few things still need to be adjusted.

First, the bottom of the mouth still needs to be adjusted. It looks better, but it's still not there yet.

Second, Try to make the termination of the lines on the eye pointier. The flat end doesn't help the logo.

[paynomind]

I also think you would be well served by varying the line thicknesses in the green. Notice in your favorite logos how the dark areas looks less like lines, and more like unique shapes. On your howk, the green looks liek it was all drawn with a sharpie marker, with consistant line width.

Look at the eagles logo, and see how they use their dark background vs their white foreground.

Notice how the outline of the white in the eagle doesn't exactly align witht he edge of the black. I would draw a green outline and fill it in, then start pulling the red down in various places to add depth.

And when in doubt, go huge, then pull back till it looks right.

Make sence?