werbear

Nebraska Barn Swallows - CC Appreciated

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Howdy Everyone, I am in the process of creating a simulation sports team and am looking for some constructive criticism and suggestions on how to improve a logo.

 

 

 

barnswallows.png

barnswallows4.png

barnswallows2.png

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Hmmmmm, changed some settings. Is it visible now?

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THICKER LINES.

The outline of the baseball is about the thickness you want across the logo.  If you shrink it down to, say, a ball cap logo, you're going to lose a TON of detail.  The bird's wing and eye details will vanish along with the red baseball stitching.  

 

I would also work on the shading.  Right now, the logo looks a bit flat - almost like clip art - because there's not a lot of depth in the image.  I like the angle of the bird and it's aggressive stance, though.  And it's also very obvious that it's a smallish bird such as a swallow instead of a big eagle or falcon.  The proportions are good in that sense.

 

One other thought is the two shades of blue.  Right now you have a deep royal blue in the eye, which will appear to fade into black once the logo is sized down for a hat or jersey patch.  I would consider making the eye the same shade as the body, or possibly reworking the eye so that it's just black and white.  Remember, the trick here is to convey an "idea" of detail without actually making a lot of detail.  The Detroit Lions is a great example.  Just enough detail on the teeth, eyes and mane to make you realize it's a lion.  But they don't shade in every claw, tuft of fur, etc.  It's a balancing act when you're trying to get the viewer's mind to "fill in the blanks."

 

Overall, though, this is a really solid start.  You've got the rough shape and proportions right, which I think it probably the part that most designers miss out of the gate.

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pianoknight got it better than I can- it's well drawn but is missing some of the traits that make it a logo rather than a drawing, which is consistent line thickness and generally thicker lines. Cool name and general aesthetic, though. 

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2 hours ago, werbear said:

Hmmmmm, changed some settings. Is it visible now?

Yes, now it is. I would also say thicker lines.

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Cut the Wings, Thickened the Lines. Added some Belly Shading:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

barnswallows5.png

barnswallows6.png

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This is a fantastic update to the logo.  

 

Two things to think about are the baseball and the wordmark.  Right now, the baseball is getting lost in the background.  If you want it to be part of the logo, I would thicken the lines on the stitching to match the bird.  Maybe add some shading to give it a spherical look opposed to just a flat circle.  Or, alternatively, you could consider ditching it altogether like you have in the secondary.

 

Right now, the cursive script font doesn't scream "Barnswallow" to me.  When I think of the bird - and the image you've created - I get the idea of a quick, darting bird.  A rough-and-tumble, scrappy kind of fighter who doesn't back don't from a challenge.  The barnswallow might be a little guy, but he'll take on a big owl or crow that's trying to steal his food.  That sort of thing.  Anyway, the cursive words don't fit that image.  I'd probably steer away from any script/cursive or serif fonts for your wording.  I wouldn't go full into something crazy like "Bleeding Cowboys," but you might try a font with a slight western or distorted feel to it.  Again, slight.  We're not trying to make a Creed album cover here, just enough character to make the words match the image.

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Excellent update, you've really taken this logo to the next level. There's just a couple small things I'd fix now.

1. Remove the shading on the body, it's just adding another unnecessary color to the logo.

2. Add a little more detail to the eye, a small white circle in the pupil would give the bird even more aggression. Here's an example of what I'm talking about.

3. Thicken the stitching on the baseball to match the width of the rest of your outlines, also remove the red that's overlapping the outline of the ball.

4. Like pianoknight said, change the font for the wordmark. I'd also consider adding outlines to the letters to incorporate more team colors.

 

You've already made a huge improvement, keep up the good work!

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Lost the baseball - really wasn't adding much. Lost the Shading. Went with a western style font. Thoughts?

barnswallows8.png

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barnswallows8.png

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With the baseball is way better.Even thicker lines will be better, but you have to play thick and thin.I mean makee the lines thinner at the end, like, um Toledo Mud Hens, look there the lines of the eye and so on, its a certain style you have to apply to make it work and look pro.You def. have a solid overall look and idea, but still need to "style" it.Keep it up :)

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You could try to switch the black outline to a dark gray tone which you could also use for details and wordmark. Just a suggestion as many of my logos got an update discarding black from the color scheme if it was used only for the outline.

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Next Iteration: Fixed the Eyebrow. Re tried the shadowing - What is your guy's opinion of the shadow? to shadow or not to shadow? Re added the baseball. Not sure If I'm Sold on the baseball or not.

barnswallows9.png

barnswallows10.png

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Shadow version beyond a doubt. It just ties all of the elements together. Well done on the logo progression.

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