Pearls of wisdom

[Guest Guest]

its better to have a closed mind then a wide open ass

[NJTank]

"If Cows dont eat it I dont want to play on it" Richie Allen on Astroturf

[NJTank]

"The Ship be Sinking"-Michael Ray Richardsona sked why he and the Knicks were struggling circa 1982.

[tajmccall]

"the path to knighthood is paved through strength and nobility, not LSD and Sideburns."- The Black Knight, Family Guy

[Brian in Boston]

"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it."

W.C. Fields

[clyon81]

http://www.lpboulder.com/quotes/ I came across this list, and I liked all of them so much, I couldnt pick just one.

[sj32]

"I ain't gettin' on no time machine!"

-- Spirits of St. Louis forward Marvin Barnes upon learning that the team's flight from Louisville would leave at 10 am (EST) and land in St. Louis at 9:57 am (CST).

[Phil]

What would a discussion like this be without a few Douglas Adams gems?

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"For a moment, nothing happened.Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen."

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

"He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it..."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."

"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandonded this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."

"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands. "

"If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves."

"One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed."

"The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven't. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor."

...and for some reason, this is my favourite...

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

Thanks to brainyquotes.com for the wording.

[Brass]

"What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP! I'm Rick James!"

--Dave Chapelle--

"There's 2 kinds of athletes. Stars, who are good, but the Superstars are the ones with Championship rings."

--Derek Sanderson--

"Which leads me to my next point.....Don't smoke crack!"

--Lawrence Taylor in 'The Waterboy'--

[NJTank]

"Whopde Damn Do"-Derrick Coleman