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Iron crossover x!


IronChefShark

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the scene: a stately looking study, complete with autographed bay area sports memorabilia. at a desk in front of a computer monitor, sits a flamboyantly dressed man with a bowl of rice and a open bottle of corona. it is chairman SharkHatesBrown of Iron Crossover. He begins to speak in a voiceover.

Wa takshino key yoku gatashka naraba (if my memory serves me correctly) our last battle featured our deepest field of concepts to date. we saw very creative logo edits from roger clemente, puckguy, and newcomer syphi. and we saw innovative designs from the likes of discriminhater, sabres7200, and newcomer frylock. even self proclaimed Iron Crossover "lunatic" saintsfan69 entered the fray.

so now as our milestone tenth battle approaches, I have a dilemma. So through e-mail I sought the council of my mentor, chairman Takeshi Kaga of the Gourmet Academy in Japan. Kaga-san offered me a wealth of good advice as well as some handy wardrobe tips. I want our tenth battle to surpass even our ninth battle. so kaga gave me this advice:

instead of drawing a theme at random, hand pick a theme that you feel will test the skills of the designers as well as give them an opportunity to express each ones individuality. Also keep this battle open to all comers rather then the first ten.

so with that I have made the preparations to Crossover Stadium! Our ninth battle will be tough to top! Lets top it right here! Iron Crossover X!!!

chairman SHB appears standing in the dark San Francisco fog with the Golden Gate Bridge as his backdrop, arms raised into the air, in one hand a yellow bell pepper. after a few brief seconds he bites loudly into the bell pepper

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fukui: welcome to an all decked out Crossover Stadium! Our tenth battle promises to be a special one, and today we have a special guest commentator, San Francisco Giants TV analyst Mike Krukow!

krukow: hey hows it going!

fukui: so krukow-san you pitched in the major leagues for some time, what was your take on some of the uniforms you come across?

krukow: well I came up with the cubs in the late 70s and we wore powder blue road unis with white pinstripes! they were TIRED!!!!

fukui: well hopefully you wont be seeing anything like that here today. and of course with me as always Dr. Yukio Hattori

doc hattori: always a pleasure

fukui: so lets bring him on, chairman SHB!!

the aisle is flanked by formally attired trumpeters. they begin to play thier instruments as chairman SharkHatesBrown in all his glory enters Crossover Stadium on horseback! He dismounts and begins to speak...

So we made it to our milestone tenth battle. I wanted so badly to make this one special that I sought the council of my mentor, chariman kaga. His advice was to hand pick a theme rather then draw one at random as usual. I thought to myself...good idea. However I hit a block....I couldnt decide until one day, it struck me, like a snake!

yes, that team!

Key yonote mahwa koreydess!!! (we unveil the ingredient!!!)

...

...

...

...

this week's theme is.......

Arizona Diamondbacks (MLB) and FOOTBALL!!!

fukui: okay so now the suspense is over! we are crossing over the Arizona Diamondbacks to football....LETS GET IT ON!!!

ALLEZ CUISINE!!!!!

GONG!!!!

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chariman SHB's D-Backs football x-over

fukui: it appears that chairman SHB has once again displayed his concept as an example for the designers

doc hattori: yes it does appear that way. this is a good theme for this battle. lots of elements and colors can be employed and in many different ways. should be interesting to see what these designers could come up with

krukow: the D-Backs? Chairman, YOURE KILLING ME! huh-huh!

Seriously though, this is a first for me and I cant wait to see what the D-Backs football team would look like! Im PSSSYYYYCCCHHHEEDDD!!!!!

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assistant: Master master, its started, the tenth Iron Crossover has begun! How on earth are we gonna celebrate?

Saintsfan (looking slightly inebriated (a long word for drunk!!!)): Hahahahahahahahaha, what oh sorry been at the cricket my darling little assistant! England beat South Africa...

Assistant: yes I know master, but most of the people reading this won't care- they care more for the low scores and silly pants of baseball!

Saintsfan: Well its a good thing we don't have to worry about doing a baseball design for the crossover then!

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ohta: fukui-san!

fukui: go ahead ohta!

ohta: yes due to the lengthy discussions of new NFL uniforms in the forum, the chairman is calling for an early BUMP so the battle doesnt get lost!

doc hattori: my guess is that with so many elements to work with, the designers are taking more time to plot thier strategies before unveiling thier entries

krukow: yeah, got to look at the scouting reports. dont you know that, MEAT!

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SyPhi may not be able to toss his hat into this, the landmark tenth battle. School time constraints are quickly materializing, there is other work I'd like to finish first, and quite honestly, SyPhi's expertise in hockey jersey design does not crossover into football jerseys as well as I'd like.

Not that I'm ruling an entry out, but I wouldn't count on it.

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fukui: well it appears we have our first concept here doc

doc hattori: yes it does. it appears sabres7200 has decided to go the purple jersey route as well. and it looks like he has employed copper as the pants color

fukui: indeed. presentation is a little rough but it does the job in getting the idea across

ohta: fukui-san!

fukui: go!

ohta: I got word from Sabres7200 that he intends to clean his presentation up before the voting begins

krukow: atta babe! gotta have a gameplan! the first pitch has been thrown here lets see what else can be thrown out there!

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Another familiar face enters the arena. The crowd perks up as the ever noticable Roger Clemente enters. His entourage chants "Time?! Time?! Time?!" as he walks down the aisle with his creation. He stops in the middle to look at his Raptors Hockey creation that he left in the middle of the arena last week. Rage fills him. He lays down the latest work and rips into his previous work.

Roger Clemente: Stupid, stupid artwork! Couldn't even get me one stinkin' vote!!!! RAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Double.gif

Clemente tears up his artwork and stands still for a moment to calm himself down. He picks up his new piece of artwork and places it on his easel. He removes the sheet from it...

Copy and paste:

http://www.geocities.com/rogercl....all.gif

Roger Clemente: Behold my people! I will win you over yet!

Clemente raised his fist into the air as his head crystal shimmers. He then turns into a vertical blue line and teleports out through the ceiling.

And now.....do your worst!

Octopus.gifOstrich.gifCatfish.gif

--Roger "Time?" Clemente.

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Saintsfan and his assistant enter the arena

Assistant: Master, do we really have to go through all of this again!

Saintsfan: Yes my snivelling little groupie we do! behold

http://uk.geocities.com/mark_gray74/dbacksx.jpg

(C/P)

One Diamondbacks football crossover, complete with logo edit!

in the broadcast booth

Al Michaels: My word is that a football in that snakes mouth!

John Madden: Thats the funniest thing I have come across since someone seriously thought Dennis Miller would do a good job on MNF!!!

Al Michaels: Hey you didn't have to work with him!

back in the arena

Saintsfan: And if that isn't enough for you

*Waves hands and the stars begin to reposition themselves, after a couple of seconds VOTE SAINTSFAN can clearly be read in the night sky*

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fukui: it appears that roger clemente and his supporters have entered crossover stadium. take a look at roger's entry...WHOA doc what do you notice about this one?

doc hattori: at first glance I thought roger decided to completely omit the turquoise from the scheme but at second glance it does appear he did employ the turquoise in small doses

krukow: I didnt notice the turquoise at first either, but even if he did decide not to use that color it would have made sense. as a member of the giants broadcast team I see the DBacks a lot, and thier road unis are almost completely void of turquoise while thier home unis tend to have a little more of it

fukui: nonetheless its our first concept featuring black as the primary color. maybe ohta can get some more info....ohta?

ohta: ow! she didnt have to.....oh, sorry.....fukui-san!

fukui: you okay there big guy?

ohta: man that lisa guererro just slapped me!

krukow: huh huh!

doc hattori: what? man what did you say to her?

ohta: all I did was take Iron Chef Sakai's advice and ask her if she has ever partaken in "bukakke"

doc hattori: wow I cant understand why she would slap you for that! rolleyes.gif

fukui: hoo boy! swing and a miss strike three there ohta!

krukow: yeah, GRAB SOME PINE MEAT!!

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