wurldwyde Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Hi everyone,I've been hanging around these boards for a while, and have noticed a lot of excellent work by many of the members. I've refrained from posting myself until I actually had something I wanted to show. I've been working on this logo for quite a few months, and have tweaked it considerably. However, there are still some things I'm not proud of. I've noticed there are lots of members who are very helpful and insightful when it comes to critiques, so I was hoping that some of you could lend an opinion or two on how I can improve on it.I've included the primary, secondary, and wordmarks, plus my critique of the enlarged primary below. Fire away, I accept all criticism. Thanks to anyone who can lend a hand. And Hi to Cole and Avenger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Another one of the Thunderpuck boys, eh? Well we'll see about that... That logo is very nice and the work that's gone into it shows.The face definitely does look chubby... I think this could be somewhat remedied by having the cheek on the left their follow the contour of the snout overlapping the fur as opposed to the fur overlapping the snout, as it is now. Also, it seems there's a little too much of the face on the right (our right) of the bear's snout.The texture of the lower teeth is a little much. I'd say add texture to the fangs, but not the in between teeth.The eye could be made to look angrier if the above fur didn't round down so much to our left of it. Also, you could try making the top edge of the eye straight horizontal...On the secondary logo, I'd suggest putting a kodiak's paw print on Edmonton's point on the map.At the bottom, just let the logo 'end' by following the flow of the fur curving to our right there to a point...Although the wordmark needs some sort of flair (oh no... Office Space flashbacks), I don't think the S is the right place for it... perhaps the first K?Lastly, inside the bear's bottom lip you have a white highlight. I'd move it to the right side of his mouth... it brings the blackness closer to the viewer as opposed to setting it inside of his mouth/lip. On the right side of the inside of the bottom lip would make more sense, showing the curviture within his bottom lip.Great work, hope my comments help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJTank Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Wow those are very good. Quite a debut on the board I must say www.sportsecyclopedia.com For the best in sports history go to the Sports E-Cyclopedia at http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurldwyde Posted March 20, 2004 Author Share Posted March 20, 2004 Wow those are very good. Quite a debut on the board I must say Thank you very much. Once I get my portfolio and my site finished off (I get impatient with designs I'm working on) I'll post a few more things too. Thanks for the warm welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColeJ Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 howdy, kennah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rozilla74 Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 Nice first post Wurldwyde. I share some of SyPhi's concerns and recommendations, especially about the 2ndary marks and wordmark. I would recommend looking for reference photos (if you aren't using them already) for bears with their heads at similar angles. Perspective and 3/4 views in logos can be tricky, always helps to have something to compare to than winging it.I do like the overall shape and movement in the logo. Just needs some tweaking in the snout and placement of the teeth. That's a large lower lip coming out at us. I like to keep shading simple in my logos. I'd eliminate it form the teeth altogether.I'd suggest having black on the entire right side of the face instead of showing that cheek. It will push the depth and help the perspective in my opinion.Also that sharp corner coming off the shadow from the right side curves inward making the bear's head puffy. Try mimicking some of the curves in the upward direction to create even more movement.Be careful of line widths in the mouth area. They might be a tad too thin in some places.Thanks for sending me that email. Hope the critique helps. You have a good foundation to build on. And there is always an abundance of opinions on these boards that can steer you in the right direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurldwyde Posted March 22, 2004 Author Share Posted March 22, 2004 Thanks rozilla, I appreciate the advice. I've done a number of tweaks that you guys have suggested, and I think it looks a lot better. The paw print on the Edmonton point looks especially nice. I'll try and post a revision tommorrow morning. I'm still trying things with the eye. I levelled the eyebrow off a bit, and that helps a lot. If I can't figure out anything with the eye, I'll post it anyways. Thanks for your help guys. I greatly appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick 1733 Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 (I get impatient with designs I'm working on) Hey that's funny, I do too. I don't work on them very often because I want them to be done in like 20 minutes but it takes longer than that so I just leave it and end up working on it MUCH later. I have yet to COMPLETELY finish one.Also, GREAT logos, i have one thing that i think i would change, the fact that he looks like he has an abnormally chubby face, other than that its g-r-e-a-t. MLB, NBA, NFL & NHL Font Packs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurldwyde Posted March 22, 2004 Author Share Posted March 22, 2004 Well, I feel too tired to work on the eye tonight. So if anyone has any ideas, pass them my way. Here's my latest revision, notice I darkened the color of the muzzle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 That's a great concept, especially for a first concept.One little thing is I think the bottom is too dark or busy (or both), which kinda draws attention away from the face (which I assume is the focus). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiasco! Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 i like the bear and can't wait to see what you do with the eyes. however, on the secondary, i would adjust the kerning on the text so it fills up more of the space....it just looks awkward to me with 'edmonton kodiaks' taking up more space than 'hockey club'.....all in all, a nice presentation. LinkedIn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 One minor thing... the paw print needs a middle claw (bears have 5). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_cynic Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I'm lovin' that first logo, even if the eyes don't look too "angry". Great job!I look forward to your website being finished. Utah Jazz Retired Number's#1 - Frank Layden - #7 Pete Maravich - #12 John Stockton - #14 Jeff Hornacek - #35 Darrell Griffith - #53 Mark EatonRetired Number's To Come#00 The Bear (Best Mascot In NBA) - #4 Adrian Dantley - #32 Karl "The Mailman" Malone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iDonovan Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 Overall its a looks good...and a good first post. I think the whole snout and nose needs to be rotated a few degrees counter clock wise. The bottom lips looks like he has a double chin... need to clear that ares up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avenger Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Hey Kenny!There's just something about the whole perspective that I find awkward. I wish I could give more specific ideas about how to improve upon this pose, but I just keep coming back to the opinion that this particular angle to be contrary of the subject matter. He just looks like he's on his heels to me, sorta removed from the viewer. Maybe a different direction would make him more menacing? The rendering is good, especially with the less detailed teeth, so keep that for sure. I just don't dig on the angle that we're viewing the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paynomind Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 I find it a little odd how much detail there is on some parts, (gloss in the eye, shadowing in the teeth, etc) but other parts are vast expances of plain-dom. Like his neck.I think the head needs to be shortened up, and the bottom should be flatter, not as round.. the round bottom contributes to the fatt-chubbiness of the bear. NCFA Sunset Beach Tech - Octopi ΓΔΒ! Going to college gets you closer to the real world, kind of like climbing a tree gets you closer to the moon. "...a nice illustration of what you get when skill, talent, and precedent are deducted from 'creativity.' " - James Howard Kunstler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rozilla74 Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Getting there but not quite. I still think the perspective is off. Try replicating the strong curves and angles that you have in the neck to get some sense of balance at the top. The nose is at a sightly different position than the direction the head should be going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling84 Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 I think the pose is terrific. Rearing up, wheeling around to menace something. Others have noted the peculiar high detail in some areas and low in others. Just find your balance, either the image uses shadow or it doesn't.My concern is with the secondary. What do those dots accomplish? represent? I understand the desire to fill out the image but everything should be there for a reason.I would encourage you to break the planes of the circles and viewers eye moving. Its stable and balanced now, but balance doesnt always equal interesting. Asymmetrical balance is just as sound and far more dynamic. Maybe Kodiaks in a big aggressive font like the WIld use and then hockey or whatever sport beneath.Good job though. Great debut The Official Cheese-Filled Snack of NASCAR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paynomind Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 The newest bear is getting better...The secondary, i think, is a long way off. It doesn't looks as nice, agressive, and professional as the bear. I'd say either ditch it until you get the bear right, or start fresh. NCFA Sunset Beach Tech - Octopi ΓΔΒ! Going to college gets you closer to the real world, kind of like climbing a tree gets you closer to the moon. "...a nice illustration of what you get when skill, talent, and precedent are deducted from 'creativity.' " - James Howard Kunstler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurldwyde Posted March 23, 2004 Author Share Posted March 23, 2004 Thanks again for the comments. I probably should have mentioned what I was going for with the secondary logo. I wanted to make it more traditional "old-school" type of logo, so I could make an old-fashioned alternate uniform with it. I thought having a modern logo plus the alternate on the shoulders would provide a cutting-edge look, yet still maintain some of the class and tradition of old time hockey. Sterling, you're right, the dots dont accomplish anything, I simply added them to seperate the two lines of text. But with the kerning as low as it is, I guess it doesn't really matter.I'll keep working to harmonize the detail throughout the primary logo. This is my first logo that's trying to show a perspective view, so I know i've a lot of refinement to go. Perhaps I should have debuted with a logo from my archive. If anyone remembers a San Francisco Seals concept from a while back, that was my concept also. I'll keep plugging away at this. If anything, it could be used as a reference to look back on what not to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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