razr32154 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Hey guys, I was working on some side faces based off of Davidson's tutorials and figured I'd add a helmet and make it a trojan logo. I may expand this more into a complete rebrand, but I figured I'd get some feedback before starting anything else. Let me know what you think, Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nash61 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The plume looks too much like a gear and not like a plume. On September 20, 2012 at 0:50 AM, 'CS85 said: It's like watching the hellish undead creakily shuffling their way out of the flames of a liposuction clinic dumpster fire. On February 19, 2012 at 9:30 AM, 'pianoknight said: Story B: Red Wings go undefeated and score 100 goals in every game. They also beat a team comprised of Godzilla, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, 2 Power Rangers and Betty White. Oh, and they played in the middle of Iraq on a military base. In the sand. With no ice. Santa gave them special sand-skates that allowed them to play in shorts and t-shirts in 115 degree weather. Jesus, Zeus and Buddha watched from the sidelines and ate cotton candy. POTD 5/24/12, POTD 2/26/17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themadmoose Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missouri tigers Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The plume looks too much like a gear and not like a plume.I actually like the plume, It just needs to be a bit longer.The helmet looks good too, the only think I would change there would be to get rid of the earhole, or make it look round.The face however needs some changes.The eyes should be lower, because it looks like he doesn't have much of a forehead. You should also try to add a more defined jaw line, because right now it doesn't look like he has one.The nose also needs quite a bit of reworking too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YessSir32 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I agree with the changes stated above, it would make the logo a whole lot better. Detroit Falcons (NABL) | Detroit Gears (UFL) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahgee Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I would make the plume less mechanical and more hairlike and make the guy's lips look fierce and not like a star-crossed lover going in for a kiss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSS Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I agree that it should be a bit longer, or more elaborate. Otherwise, I think this could be very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jhero34 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 helmet should be gold and the plume should be red, like a real spartan helmet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wILL-INI Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 He looks like he's doing a duck face (google it). Needs work on his face. His eye looks too big, and his nose isn't proportional at all. Also what is going on in front of his face? It's a solid start, I like the rendering, just need to touch up the face a little bit... "Classic" does not mean it gets a free pass for being bad design.Portfolio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
9erssteve Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Hey guys, I was working on some side faces based off of Davidson's tutorials and figured I'd add a helmet and make it a trojan logo. I may expand this more into a complete rebrand, but I figured I'd get some feedback before starting anything else. Let me know what you think, Thanks!Did you actually work from reference material as Davidson's tutorial suggests? Cos I know what my money is on. The anatomy of the head needs some SERIOUS work, right now your poor Trojan lacks any kind of chin at all! The Jawline is practically non-existent. The cheek/Jaw protectors on the helmet dont seem to follow any actual for I recognise, and the plume has been so stylised as others have pointed out it looks more like a cog than a Horse mane plume.Hate to sound harsh, but I dont think this is something that can be improved by tweaks and changes. I think the best bet would be to go off and find good reference material, study it, understand how it works and then start again. I think you'll achieve much better results doing that than trying to clean this version up.9erssteve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razr32154 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 I appreciate the c&c you guys have given and here's the revision I made, but I think 9erssteve is right about starting again so I'm gonna revisit this soon with some fresh eyes and hopefully I'll have a better result to show you guys.And to answer your question 9erssteve, I actually did without reference material because my internet was broken and I did it to kill some time, so that could by why it looks funkyAnywho, let me know what you guys think of the revision. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAB Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 You didn't really fix the problem with the plume at all. And I'm still getting that "leaning in for a kiss" vibe from his facial expression. The white line by his eye area is unneccesary, it's hardly visible so it's probably best to just get rid of that. This could turn out to be a very nice logo if you keep working at it. You'd be smart to go back and look at some reference material too like 9erssteve suggested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaha32 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I agree with all the above comments. One thing that looks very off to me (other than the gearlike plume and kissing face and lack of jawline) is that the helmet looks way to small. the way you have it, the helmet looks like it is exactly the same size as his skull would be, but this is a helmet, so it should extend farther beyond the head. You have it sticking out a little bit in front but not enough. and in back and top, it isnt extended at all. This wouldnt fit on his head. Also, his facial feature take up too mutch of the front of the head. He needs more of a forehead and a smaller face.Ive always thought that USC could update this logo, so I was interested in seeing what you did before clicking, but this needs some work. DesignsByHahn.com Behance Dribbble Instragram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razr32154 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Ok guys, i took all the c&c offered, and remade the logo. I'm still iffy about the face, particularly the mouth and nose, but I figured I'd get it up here for some reaction. Here's logo number 2. let me know what you think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gyoung08 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 The mouth still seems a little off. It looks like a monkey mouth. I think it is a marked improvement though overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahgee Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Ok guys, i took all the c&c offered, and remade the logo. I'm still iffy about the face, particularly the mouth and nose, but I figured I'd get it up here for some reaction. Here's logo number 2. let me know what you thinkDear lord, I am in loveCan I use this as my avatar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missouri tigers Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 The bottom lip it out too far, as already mentioned. Also the distance between the nose and mouth is really far. Try bringing the nose down a bit. Other than that you've got a pretty solid logo. Nice progression from the first post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wILL-INI Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 It's a def improvement, but I still don't get the shield in front of his face? Is it like a football visor, cause I see the blast shield on Luke Skywalkers helmet in the first movie. Also, with the mouth your face. Use this as a reference for you mouth. It honestly looks great, hold the mouth. Get the mouth down and it's solid. http://artofdon.com/GIF%20images/face%20profile.gifOk, also, I love the jawline to the ear, in the break in the helmet. Weirdly, it's my fav part of the logo. But it needs a couple bumps forward, there is no back of the head for this guy with that positioning... "Classic" does not mean it gets a free pass for being bad design.Portfolio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YessSir32 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Good improvement, just keep working on the mouth and see if you can get it right. Detroit Falcons (NABL) | Detroit Gears (UFL) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drdougfresh Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 The improvements are a step in the right direction for sure. I have to echo the sentiments on the mouth, though. Reminds me of these guys: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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